(no subject)
I'm worried about Hyun-ki.
I understand it's OK not to be happy all the time.
But, he said that he feels second best with me.
And I feel awful. I've always tried to make him feel as special as he is to me.
What do I do? I can't break up with Quinn. I just can't imagine not being with him on some level. But, I can't seem to make Hyun-ki realize I am in love with him and aim to spend the rest of my life with him without doing so. I try explaining to him that what Quinn and I have is an entirely different sort of relationship. I love him, no question there...but it is just a different kind of love. We don't have sex very often. Even with him having his sex drive now, we still don't. When we had our date the other night, we kissed, that was it. It's not that we aren't attracted to each other, we are...we just don't feel the need to have sex.
Zeek's theory is that because our love is so old, it has changed shape. We don't have the sort of young, passionate love that new souls do. I'm not sure about that but, it makes some sort of sense. What that means is, we NEED other relationships. While we could get by without them, it wouldn't be as fulfilling. Anyone who's been in love knows those butterflies, the uncertainty, the anticipation of seeing the other person again. Quinn and I don't have that because there is no uncertainty. We know we'll see each other again. It still doesn't make any sense, probably, but I know me talking more isn't going to change that.
I understand it's OK not to be happy all the time.
But, he said that he feels second best with me.
And I feel awful. I've always tried to make him feel as special as he is to me.
What do I do? I can't break up with Quinn. I just can't imagine not being with him on some level. But, I can't seem to make Hyun-ki realize I am in love with him and aim to spend the rest of my life with him without doing so. I try explaining to him that what Quinn and I have is an entirely different sort of relationship. I love him, no question there...but it is just a different kind of love. We don't have sex very often. Even with him having his sex drive now, we still don't. When we had our date the other night, we kissed, that was it. It's not that we aren't attracted to each other, we are...we just don't feel the need to have sex.
Zeek's theory is that because our love is so old, it has changed shape. We don't have the sort of young, passionate love that new souls do. I'm not sure about that but, it makes some sort of sense. What that means is, we NEED other relationships. While we could get by without them, it wouldn't be as fulfilling. Anyone who's been in love knows those butterflies, the uncertainty, the anticipation of seeing the other person again. Quinn and I don't have that because there is no uncertainty. We know we'll see each other again. It still doesn't make any sense, probably, but I know me talking more isn't going to change that.