There's a problem
I call this particular obstacle "Ben." He's my older brother. I'm old enough now that it shouldn't matter. I've made it clear many times I want him out of my life, don't respect his opinion, and wish he would leave. So, there's a cycle that seems to repeat.
Phase 1. I find a new social circle
Phase 2. Circle likes me, and thinks highly of me.
Phase 3. Ben enters after there's a network of people who all know me. Makes it easy for him, he just says he's my brother and they all want to know who he is because of ME.
Phase 4. Ben spreads lies and rumors about me. My circle begins to decompose itself. People ask me questions like "Did you bite your brother?" [The answer is yes. But there's something they haven't been told: He was trying to choke the life out of me. He was pretty angry that day, while he was choking me I bit him to get his arms off me.] or "Did you hit your brother with a frying pan?". The answer is Yes to all of these random things they ask, but they're only given a small fraction of the story, the part that makes him look like a victim and me the assailant.
Phase 5. Over time he'll spread his lies, and incomplete truthes, then use me as a stepping stone to get higher on this social totem pole. That's around the time I leave after assessing there aren't enough real people within the group.
I hate Ben. I always have. I don't know how to deal with him.
I can wait for the oportune time and get him locked up after he makes a mistake. He's going to make one eventually. I could expose him to the correct person and they'll take care of him for something he's actually done. I can do a number of things to him. This is the 4th Cycle.
In the past I said, if he does this I'll be the bigger man and ignor it. That's when it get's worse for whatever reason. Being an honest, caring person who does right thing get's you screwed. He's the one getting what he wants and stealling what I have. Why not show him there are consequences for what he does?
Phase 1. I find a new social circle
Phase 2. Circle likes me, and thinks highly of me.
Phase 3. Ben enters after there's a network of people who all know me. Makes it easy for him, he just says he's my brother and they all want to know who he is because of ME.
Phase 4. Ben spreads lies and rumors about me. My circle begins to decompose itself. People ask me questions like "Did you bite your brother?" [The answer is yes. But there's something they haven't been told: He was trying to choke the life out of me. He was pretty angry that day, while he was choking me I bit him to get his arms off me.] or "Did you hit your brother with a frying pan?". The answer is Yes to all of these random things they ask, but they're only given a small fraction of the story, the part that makes him look like a victim and me the assailant.
Phase 5. Over time he'll spread his lies, and incomplete truthes, then use me as a stepping stone to get higher on this social totem pole. That's around the time I leave after assessing there aren't enough real people within the group.
I hate Ben. I always have. I don't know how to deal with him.
I can wait for the oportune time and get him locked up after he makes a mistake. He's going to make one eventually. I could expose him to the correct person and they'll take care of him for something he's actually done. I can do a number of things to him. This is the 4th Cycle.
In the past I said, if he does this I'll be the bigger man and ignor it. That's when it get's worse for whatever reason. Being an honest, caring person who does right thing get's you screwed. He's the one getting what he wants and stealling what I have. Why not show him there are consequences for what he does?