Just a Little Rant
Mom and I were at Whole Foods yesterday, shopping and talking to the employees we're buddies with. The last person we talked to was Joe. He's the cheese man. And I mean THE cheese man. He's a broad, blond guy with a light voice, raspy from years of smoking.
Anyway. He asks us what's been going on in our lives. Mom and I are usually at a loss when it comes to this question. We don't often do exciting things, and I have trouble thinking under social pressure. And Mom is oddly superstitious; she thinks that talking about good things that have yet to happen is a sure-fire way to ensure those things DON'T happen.
So, I reach for the only notable constant in my life and bitch about the fact that I can't find a job. We engage in the predictable back and forth, until he asks a question I've never encountered.
"What do you want to do?"
I was stunned into silence for a few seconds. I wanted to blurt, "Minimum Wage!". And I did, only with more words and less manic desperation.
Later, it got me thinking. What do I want to do? Clearly, he has been sheltered in the hopeful cocoon that is Whole Foods for far too long.
What I want to do - that has no significance right now.
I will work at WalMart.
I will be some old person's personal bitch.
I will babysit the yappiest dog and pick up its shit.
I will cater to picky assholes who send their dishes back because the garnish isn't right.
I will let someone randomly hit me with a riding crop because their parents didn't pay attention to them as a child.
Do I want to do any of these things. Fuck no. But I will, because we need the money. If I somehow managed to get a job that was relevant to my interests and might help develop me for a future career, that would be a dream come true. The odds of that happening right now, though, are slim.
I guess I was just baffled at the thought that I was being choosy about the jobs I was applying for.
/rant
Thanks for listening. Enjoy your waiters, tip the tofu steaks.
Anyway. He asks us what's been going on in our lives. Mom and I are usually at a loss when it comes to this question. We don't often do exciting things, and I have trouble thinking under social pressure. And Mom is oddly superstitious; she thinks that talking about good things that have yet to happen is a sure-fire way to ensure those things DON'T happen.
So, I reach for the only notable constant in my life and bitch about the fact that I can't find a job. We engage in the predictable back and forth, until he asks a question I've never encountered.
"What do you want to do?"
I was stunned into silence for a few seconds. I wanted to blurt, "Minimum Wage!". And I did, only with more words and less manic desperation.
Later, it got me thinking. What do I want to do? Clearly, he has been sheltered in the hopeful cocoon that is Whole Foods for far too long.
What I want to do - that has no significance right now.
I will work at WalMart.
I will be some old person's personal bitch.
I will babysit the yappiest dog and pick up its shit.
I will cater to picky assholes who send their dishes back because the garnish isn't right.
I will let someone randomly hit me with a riding crop because their parents didn't pay attention to them as a child.
Do I want to do any of these things. Fuck no. But I will, because we need the money. If I somehow managed to get a job that was relevant to my interests and might help develop me for a future career, that would be a dream come true. The odds of that happening right now, though, are slim.
I guess I was just baffled at the thought that I was being choosy about the jobs I was applying for.
/rant
Thanks for listening. Enjoy your waiters, tip the tofu steaks.