Behold the Angsty Ferret Butt of Shunning
So many awesome replies! So many awesome new friends! Hello! *waves* I'll be catching up some more today -- these are just amazing comments and insight y'all are offering -- and I'll also be slamming up some fun archaeology stuff. For now, though? I present this moment in Mason Love.
My darling Mason, when getting his sulk on over some extraordinary abuse he's suffered, will flatten himself against the floor, just out of my reach, with his butt pointed toward me to underscore how totally I don't even exist while he's languishing away.
The other night I once again failed to supply an infinite number of treats because I am a terrible person who doesn't understand that ferrets are happy when they get diarrhea from being fed too much dried fruit. (Oh, when will I ever learn?) My little guy decided there was no other recourse save to give me The Angsty Ferret Butt of Shunning. I scooched over just enough to tickle that butt because sometimes that's the only thing that's almost as awesome as being stalked by Ethan Hawke's ass.
Mason sighed heavily but continued to stare straight ahead. I continued to pet his little ferret butt. Had he been able to talk, the conversation would have gone like this:
Mason: Stop touching me. I'm pretending I'm dead right now.
Me: Ferret butt! *skritches that butt*
(Mason scooches forward an inch. I scooch forward an inch.)
Mason: I'm still dead.
Me: I'm still touching you.
Mason: *another massive sigh*
(Mason scooches forward an inch. I scooch forward an inch.)
Me: Did you notice my hand is still on your butt?
Mason: So, okay, I'm pretending you're dead now.
Me: *skritches his butt some more*
(Mason scooches forward an inch. I scooch forward an inch.)
Me: Still. Touching. You.
Mason: Jackass.
We kept this up for over forty minutes. It was AWESOME. He never once looked at me, tried to run away from me, or otherwise bothered to acknowledge my existence save for each tiny increment that he'd scooch forward to get out of reach. He just set himself to first ignore me then to out-stubborn me. This kept getting funnier and funnier as I paced him across the apartment. I wound up shaking from sobbing laughter because I'm just enchanted by what an annoying, stubborn, little jackass ferret he is and because I was just as determined to out-stubborn him.
Don't be surprised if he calls one of you and tries to put me up for adoption.
Mason has also resumed his love affair with DVD cases. He's obsessed with them. He presently spends part of each morning and part of each evening with his head in a DVD case. Why? I have no fucking clue but watching him start sliding around the living room, flattened on the floor with his head in an Eddie Izzard DVD case that appears to be chewing on his skull, has been the highlight of my week two days in a row now.
I can't wait to adopt another ferret.
My darling Mason, when getting his sulk on over some extraordinary abuse he's suffered, will flatten himself against the floor, just out of my reach, with his butt pointed toward me to underscore how totally I don't even exist while he's languishing away.
The other night I once again failed to supply an infinite number of treats because I am a terrible person who doesn't understand that ferrets are happy when they get diarrhea from being fed too much dried fruit. (Oh, when will I ever learn?) My little guy decided there was no other recourse save to give me The Angsty Ferret Butt of Shunning. I scooched over just enough to tickle that butt because sometimes that's the only thing that's almost as awesome as being stalked by Ethan Hawke's ass.
Mason sighed heavily but continued to stare straight ahead. I continued to pet his little ferret butt. Had he been able to talk, the conversation would have gone like this:
Mason: Stop touching me. I'm pretending I'm dead right now.
Me: Ferret butt! *skritches that butt*
(Mason scooches forward an inch. I scooch forward an inch.)
Mason: I'm still dead.
Me: I'm still touching you.
Mason: *another massive sigh*
(Mason scooches forward an inch. I scooch forward an inch.)
Me: Did you notice my hand is still on your butt?
Mason: So, okay, I'm pretending you're dead now.
Me: *skritches his butt some more*
(Mason scooches forward an inch. I scooch forward an inch.)
Me: Still. Touching. You.
Mason: Jackass.
We kept this up for over forty minutes. It was AWESOME. He never once looked at me, tried to run away from me, or otherwise bothered to acknowledge my existence save for each tiny increment that he'd scooch forward to get out of reach. He just set himself to first ignore me then to out-stubborn me. This kept getting funnier and funnier as I paced him across the apartment. I wound up shaking from sobbing laughter because I'm just enchanted by what an annoying, stubborn, little jackass ferret he is and because I was just as determined to out-stubborn him.
Don't be surprised if he calls one of you and tries to put me up for adoption.
Mason has also resumed his love affair with DVD cases. He's obsessed with them. He presently spends part of each morning and part of each evening with his head in a DVD case. Why? I have no fucking clue but watching him start sliding around the living room, flattened on the floor with his head in an Eddie Izzard DVD case that appears to be chewing on his skull, has been the highlight of my week two days in a row now.
I can't wait to adopt another ferret.