A thought
I've been thinking about Aikido. For a long time, I've wondered what Aikido would look like in a different arena of life---say, an argument or something. I think I might have figured it out... To clarify, I'm talking about arguments where people are actually mad at each other, and don't have much control.
In Aikido (according to my hazy understanding), your first step when someone attacks is often to get out of the way of the attack, by moving sideways. In an argument, an attack ("you never do the dishes!") can also be met by "moving sideways."
What happens when you stand still? You get hit by the original attack. This hurts! This is not saying anything. This is letting the blows rain down. If someone is attacking you, they want you to be a certain way. And if you just stand there, they don't see that they've made you feel that way, and they are encouraged to try harder, to see if they can make you feel that way with a bigger hit.
What happens when you push back forward? Then you are attacking too! Fighting attacks with attacks hurts both people, until they are too tired of hurting and being hurt to do it any more. Pushing back makes someone push harder.
What happens when you go backwards? This is retreating. This is going where they want you to go. If they see they can win this argument, then they will often bring in other arguments to see if they can win those, too. This pushes you farther and farther back in retreat.
But what is moving sideways? Sideways is out of the line of the attack. From over here, you can see them trying to get you, but the blow doesn't land. Sideways is a frame of mind. When you hear the words, you're not fighting them, or accepting them into your heart, or letting them bounce off. You're seeing them as things that a person has just said. This is an active position to take. "This person is hurting, and just threw that out there to defend themselves", or "This person has a big old resentment about housework"
What do you do when you're out of the line of attack? I don't know :-P
I don't know if this is "right" or anything... it was just interesting to me when I thought of it, and I thought I'd share.
In Aikido (according to my hazy understanding), your first step when someone attacks is often to get out of the way of the attack, by moving sideways. In an argument, an attack ("you never do the dishes!") can also be met by "moving sideways."
What happens when you stand still? You get hit by the original attack. This hurts! This is not saying anything. This is letting the blows rain down. If someone is attacking you, they want you to be a certain way. And if you just stand there, they don't see that they've made you feel that way, and they are encouraged to try harder, to see if they can make you feel that way with a bigger hit.
What happens when you push back forward? Then you are attacking too! Fighting attacks with attacks hurts both people, until they are too tired of hurting and being hurt to do it any more. Pushing back makes someone push harder.
What happens when you go backwards? This is retreating. This is going where they want you to go. If they see they can win this argument, then they will often bring in other arguments to see if they can win those, too. This pushes you farther and farther back in retreat.
But what is moving sideways? Sideways is out of the line of the attack. From over here, you can see them trying to get you, but the blow doesn't land. Sideways is a frame of mind. When you hear the words, you're not fighting them, or accepting them into your heart, or letting them bounce off. You're seeing them as things that a person has just said. This is an active position to take. "This person is hurting, and just threw that out there to defend themselves", or "This person has a big old resentment about housework"
What do you do when you're out of the line of attack? I don't know :-P
I don't know if this is "right" or anything... it was just interesting to me when I thought of it, and I thought I'd share.