the rain always brings our heros, believe in heros
i honestly do not know what i would do with out molly kessler...actually i do...sit at home and do absolutely nothing every single night. i have called people this break, and not recieved one phone call in return. not ONE person besides molly has called me unless it was to call me back, and usually i don't even get that. the fact that 3 of the 4 people (traci, gina, and jamie) i feel comfortable talking to about anything don't live here, is not right. i don't even feel comfortable around my friends anymore, i feel so out of place, like i'm just inviting myself somewhere if i get to hang out with everyone. like when i went to andrews the other night it was because i called him after driving home from work and seeing everyones cars in his drive way, otherwise, no one would have called me. and susies, that was cuz i called ryan waller because i knew he would at least call me back.
it's like there are a certain number of spots in "the group" and if someone new comes along, someone old gets pushed to the side. and who ever is reading this will thing one of two things: either that i'm over exaggerating and being rediculous and it's my fault, or that you didn't mean to do it and your sorry, and that its not true, and that everyone is my friend.
if you think i'm over exaggerating, then fine, think that. but thats how i feel. like complete shit.
if your sorry and feel bad and blah blah blah, save it. i don't wanna hear it. if you actually cared or at least acted like you cared, i wouldn't be feeling this way.
but why complain, the friends that i KNOW that i have, are the best friends i could ask for and i love them to death! they will be there for me always, and i know this, because with the exception of one, they don't even live here anymore, and i still talk to them almost everyday. which is more than i can say for the people here.
i don't want pity from this post, its not what i'm asking for. just letting people know that their actions, or in this case, lack there of, can really hurt people. i think i'm just more disappointed than anything, in realizing that the people i thought would always be there, have been gone for a while.