Reminiscing [So Many People, So Far Gone]
It's so tough sometimes... sitting back to think... and thinking so far back.
Sometimes I wonder about you... yea, you still cross my mind, believe it or not. Not so viciously as you ought to either, sometimes I don't hate you... hell, sometimes I miss a part of you. And sometimes not as fondly as you should. Sometimes I think about picking up the phone... or dropping you a line... sometimes I want to know if you ever grew up. I wonder if the world is treating you well or if your still fighting some impending shitstorm. So many questions... how big is the world to you? And is it twice as amazing? Is it all as great as you ever expected it to be? And are you happy, are you ok, are you still learning or did you give up hope? Do you still love me? Do you still hate me?
I think about what you would say to me now... or the millions of different things I could say to you. Would you yell at me for breaking my promise... would you hold me because your proud... would you realize I'm not the girl I was be it for better or for worse. Would I see how much you've changed, could I appreciate how much you've grown, would I hold you... would I hit you... would I just simply pass by you? Would we still see the world eye to eye, would we struggle to express ourselves...
Would it be the same? Would it be entirely new? Could we still sit and talk... would you overrule me your outspoken and overbearing nature... would I run the conversation because you like the sound of my voice... would we still constantly argue? Would you cry because of me... or I because of you?
I wish I could tell you what I think, tell you I miss you, tell you I'm sorry... or maybe that I'm not. I wish I could see you one more time, wish I could give you a piece of my mind, wish I could hold you tight, wish I could slap you, wish I could kiss you one more time... I just wish I had one more time. I wish I could thank you... I wish I could tell you how horrible you were... I wish I could change the words, play a different song, walk a different path. I wish I could give you back what I had to bear... and take on what I should've been able to bear for you.
But I guess that's why the past is the past... and we keep charging on towards the future...a one way street in a car with no brakes.
Sometimes I wonder about you... yea, you still cross my mind, believe it or not. Not so viciously as you ought to either, sometimes I don't hate you... hell, sometimes I miss a part of you. And sometimes not as fondly as you should. Sometimes I think about picking up the phone... or dropping you a line... sometimes I want to know if you ever grew up. I wonder if the world is treating you well or if your still fighting some impending shitstorm. So many questions... how big is the world to you? And is it twice as amazing? Is it all as great as you ever expected it to be? And are you happy, are you ok, are you still learning or did you give up hope? Do you still love me? Do you still hate me?
I think about what you would say to me now... or the millions of different things I could say to you. Would you yell at me for breaking my promise... would you hold me because your proud... would you realize I'm not the girl I was be it for better or for worse. Would I see how much you've changed, could I appreciate how much you've grown, would I hold you... would I hit you... would I just simply pass by you? Would we still see the world eye to eye, would we struggle to express ourselves...
Would it be the same? Would it be entirely new? Could we still sit and talk... would you overrule me your outspoken and overbearing nature... would I run the conversation because you like the sound of my voice... would we still constantly argue? Would you cry because of me... or I because of you?
I wish I could tell you what I think, tell you I miss you, tell you I'm sorry... or maybe that I'm not. I wish I could see you one more time, wish I could give you a piece of my mind, wish I could hold you tight, wish I could slap you, wish I could kiss you one more time... I just wish I had one more time. I wish I could thank you... I wish I could tell you how horrible you were... I wish I could change the words, play a different song, walk a different path. I wish I could give you back what I had to bear... and take on what I should've been able to bear for you.
But I guess that's why the past is the past... and we keep charging on towards the future...a one way street in a car with no brakes.