eclipse
as i was leaving campus late tonight, the sky was positively eerie and unforgiving, as if it knew a dark secret you promised you'd never tell but did anyway.
i have made the decision to go off the two meds for my mood disorder, predictably against the will of my beastly, loathsome psychiatrist. i get upset every time i have to take them because i feel they're infringing on my lifestyle. it's funny - i wanted to be on meds for a long time before i actually got on them, thinking they'd be a quick fix, but now that i am on them, i want nothing more than to be free of them. they've done more harm than good - disrupting my sleep, giving me a gratuitous amount of nightmares, causing me to be more depressed than i would normally be, not keeping the anxiety at bay. right now i feel dulled, flat-lined and i'd sure as hell rather feel depressed than feel nothing. it's a gamble though ... i don't know how much i need them or if i'll get terribly depressed like last year ... i **think** i'm doing the right thing. sigh.
i have made the decision to go off the two meds for my mood disorder, predictably against the will of my beastly, loathsome psychiatrist. i get upset every time i have to take them because i feel they're infringing on my lifestyle. it's funny - i wanted to be on meds for a long time before i actually got on them, thinking they'd be a quick fix, but now that i am on them, i want nothing more than to be free of them. they've done more harm than good - disrupting my sleep, giving me a gratuitous amount of nightmares, causing me to be more depressed than i would normally be, not keeping the anxiety at bay. right now i feel dulled, flat-lined and i'd sure as hell rather feel depressed than feel nothing. it's a gamble though ... i don't know how much i need them or if i'll get terribly depressed like last year ... i **think** i'm doing the right thing. sigh.