Dragon Age 2 first impressions
Sensible ones: I like the game. It's not as good as DA:O in terms of plot, three hours in, but it's a damn sight prettier, and the plot has signs that it might yet surprise me (edit: plot surprised me. Opens weak. Stay with it.) I'm not yet involved, and was struggling to be immersed last night but that could have been sleepiness. The style of the combat is different and (I think) better. The dialogue is better-conceived than Mass Effect 2's and as well presented and written: they've abandoned ME2's two paths for a system with three equally interesting and viable characterisations provided you always choose the same option in every conversation that isn't a decision. Hey, I can live with that.
If I gave scores I'd give this one:
Style, 5/5. Punchy, smooth, quick, responsive, fun. As an RPG should be.
Substance, 3.5/5. It's still a WRPG rather than an Action RPG, but I prefer my stories with more emotional impact. Also, see below.
Might be NSFW if you have a particularly paranoid W who like reading lots of text over your shoulder and lack a sense of humour.
----
The bell above the door of INTIMATES OF FAR THEDAS rang and Hawke was suddenly standing between it and the fitting room faster than any potential adversary could possibly have entered. She hadn't drawn steel, but she'd made sure they couldn't see her left hand. She relaxed a fraction as an elf carrying a shopping list and a put-upon expression entered, and went back to pretending to examine a rail of... no, upon realising what they were, she thought she'd pretend to examine these ones instead. She didn't want people thinking she was that kind of girl. The conversation inside the fitting room was quite audible outside, if you had sharp ears.
"So that makes me a twenty-two... how was this letter pronounced, again?"
"That's a letter D, Merrill, but there are two of them, so it's DD."
"Oh, yes. It's just that that shape is so similar to a letter shau. It's a true wonder that you manage to write anything intelligible with only twenty-six - oh, I'm babbling again. Sorry. 22DD, you said. Is that okay?" The elf blinked at Bethany, and then remembered that humans didn't like eye contact while people were less than fully clothed, so looked away.
"Yes, it's no problem. It's not an unusual size around here. Marian, dear?" Her tone didn't change, perfectly aware that there was no way her sister wasn't eavesdropping.
Hawke wordlessly handed a plain undergarment in the required size to her sister and went back to loitering. She knew she was making the shop assistant nervous, but she didn't particularly care - the benefits of being paranoid outweighed the occasional trouble from people who didn't understand that nobody she didn't trust saw one of her friends without armour on.
"I told you the ones that you'd picked out wouldn't fit. B! Honestly. That wouldn't fit any woman in the city."
"So why do they stock them if they don't fit anyone? That wasn't even the smallest size."
"Not everyone in every part of the world's the same, dear. You could hardly call this place 'Intimates of Far Thedas' if an Orlesian or a Fereldan couldn't walk in and get something that fit her."
"But you're a Fereldan, and you're-"
"Humans vary more in, well, size than elves seem to. Maybe it's because we're taller and broader. So, how's that?"
"Better. It feels a little strange, but not a bad kind of strange."
"It will, dear. I'm surprised your, what did you call her, Keeper? Didn't teach you about all this. How did you measure for your last set?"
"Um, last set?"
"Never mind."
----
Little known fact: "The Uncanny Valley" is in fact a term invented to describe Bethany's cleavage. I mean, I was trying to get away from the thought. My character even went to the trouble of wearing nice sensible armour without tits moulded onto it. But Bethany, Isabella, YOUR MOM* and basically every female NPC that you ever meet in the game at all ever are endowed with a rack that would disgrace a herd of cattle. Even poor Merrill is, uh, rather large (see above). I mean, I'm not *against* cheesecake in games, or tits in moderation. But this begins to strain verisimilitude. The women concerned are (generally) (vaguely) sensibly dressed. They look relatively well tied down or corseted or whatever, or in extreme cases are wearing the Fantasy Female Muscle Cuirass Equivalent. Most of the armour looks sensible (but don't put the blood dragon plate on female!Hawke or you'll have someone's eye out). But Christ, Bioware dudes, there's such a thing as too much tits.
*no really
If I gave scores I'd give this one:
Style, 5/5. Punchy, smooth, quick, responsive, fun. As an RPG should be.
Substance, 3.5/5. It's still a WRPG rather than an Action RPG, but I prefer my stories with more emotional impact. Also, see below.
Might be NSFW if you have a particularly paranoid W who like reading lots of text over your shoulder and lack a sense of humour.
----
The bell above the door of INTIMATES OF FAR THEDAS rang and Hawke was suddenly standing between it and the fitting room faster than any potential adversary could possibly have entered. She hadn't drawn steel, but she'd made sure they couldn't see her left hand. She relaxed a fraction as an elf carrying a shopping list and a put-upon expression entered, and went back to pretending to examine a rail of... no, upon realising what they were, she thought she'd pretend to examine these ones instead. She didn't want people thinking she was that kind of girl. The conversation inside the fitting room was quite audible outside, if you had sharp ears.
"So that makes me a twenty-two... how was this letter pronounced, again?"
"That's a letter D, Merrill, but there are two of them, so it's DD."
"Oh, yes. It's just that that shape is so similar to a letter shau. It's a true wonder that you manage to write anything intelligible with only twenty-six - oh, I'm babbling again. Sorry. 22DD, you said. Is that okay?" The elf blinked at Bethany, and then remembered that humans didn't like eye contact while people were less than fully clothed, so looked away.
"Yes, it's no problem. It's not an unusual size around here. Marian, dear?" Her tone didn't change, perfectly aware that there was no way her sister wasn't eavesdropping.
Hawke wordlessly handed a plain undergarment in the required size to her sister and went back to loitering. She knew she was making the shop assistant nervous, but she didn't particularly care - the benefits of being paranoid outweighed the occasional trouble from people who didn't understand that nobody she didn't trust saw one of her friends without armour on.
"I told you the ones that you'd picked out wouldn't fit. B! Honestly. That wouldn't fit any woman in the city."
"So why do they stock them if they don't fit anyone? That wasn't even the smallest size."
"Not everyone in every part of the world's the same, dear. You could hardly call this place 'Intimates of Far Thedas' if an Orlesian or a Fereldan couldn't walk in and get something that fit her."
"But you're a Fereldan, and you're-"
"Humans vary more in, well, size than elves seem to. Maybe it's because we're taller and broader. So, how's that?"
"Better. It feels a little strange, but not a bad kind of strange."
"It will, dear. I'm surprised your, what did you call her, Keeper? Didn't teach you about all this. How did you measure for your last set?"
"Um, last set?"
"Never mind."
----
Little known fact: "The Uncanny Valley" is in fact a term invented to describe Bethany's cleavage. I mean, I was trying to get away from the thought. My character even went to the trouble of wearing nice sensible armour without tits moulded onto it. But Bethany, Isabella, YOUR MOM* and basically every female NPC that you ever meet in the game at all ever are endowed with a rack that would disgrace a herd of cattle. Even poor Merrill is, uh, rather large (see above). I mean, I'm not *against* cheesecake in games, or tits in moderation. But this begins to strain verisimilitude. The women concerned are (generally) (vaguely) sensibly dressed. They look relatively well tied down or corseted or whatever, or in extreme cases are wearing the Fantasy Female Muscle Cuirass Equivalent. Most of the armour looks sensible (but don't put the blood dragon plate on female!Hawke or you'll have someone's eye out). But Christ, Bioware dudes, there's such a thing as too much tits.
*no really