Man of Steel (world of Kleenex)
So yeah, I went to see the new commercial for America's military-industrial complex.
1.
Dear America. Military spending is not primarily used to buy aircraft to replace the ones destroyed by superheroes. No matter how cool any of your kit is, coolness as a movie prop is not a justification for its cost.
But damn, was there some kit. Product placement by Microsoft, Nokia (I think), IHOP, et al joined by Lockheed-Martin and the US Army. The use of military kit was sufficient, and sufficiently similar to reality in places, to set off my It Does Not Work Like That geek reflex. Also, on subsequent research, yes, the AH-6 is indeed exactly the correct helicopter. Despite looking about as useful as a toffee hammer. Why do the Rangers use AH-6s rather than a Black Hawk and a couple of real attack helicopters? But apparently they do.
2.
They're still paying scientific advisors by the word. Except here, the director wouldn't even speak to the advisor, so the conversation was limited to the special-effects directors (who had less money to throw at them compared to in Star Trek Into Darkness). Spoilers in white, which I'm still amused is labelled 'ffffff'. How can Superman fly? Gravitics. How do we show effortless super-strength easily? Leap tall buildings in a single bound. What would happen if *this* hit *this*, *this* fast? Wouldn't be much city left. What happens if a human is accelerated *this* hard? Red [oh, sorry, out of words].
3.
All the characters had read about ten lines ahead in the script. I know that it's a dumb thing to complain about, but it's just sloppy. I mean, decent implementation of a Scientist! using the Science! skill repeatedly, but it's amazing what people know about things that yesterday they'd have been calling crazy talk. Could have been better handled or at least lampshaded. But of course the only reason that I was noticing it was that some of them were actually talking like people on occasion.
4.
So, the actual film. It's about Super-Man. I'm hyphenating it, and I'm hyphenating it for a very good reason. Super-Man, bitten by a radioactive Man, becomes a ravening, terrible Man-Man! Like a Man, but more! Watch him do what a Man's Got To Do, but again and harder! Watch him flash further and further back into his laughable attempt at a troubled past! Watch him attempt to be a caring, sensitive, gentle New Man as circumstances, evil bad guys and even the three-actiest three-act script since The Godfather catapult him through the hero's journey and into orbit! Gasp as he carefully steers himself back down out of orbit to a target not a hundred yards from his lift-off point! Wince with every woman required to feature in a tale fundamentally designed to do for Super-Man what was done so nicely for Batman! Count the thousands of casualties from collateral damage, let alone all the people killed onscreen! Watch him fight an Unreconstructed Older Man in a Man-Off that levels cities!
...watch them carry off what is actually a perfectly watchable film. It's not worth what they're giving it, but it's not bad.
tl:dr? I'd cheerfully see it again, it's no Green Lantern, but it's no Avengers Assemble either. And yeah, I'm sorry, Clark, but when even Captain America is laughing (or at least raising a politely amused eyebrow) at your troubled past, you are going to have to downgrade those 'issues' to 'neuroses' at best.
1.
Dear America. Military spending is not primarily used to buy aircraft to replace the ones destroyed by superheroes. No matter how cool any of your kit is, coolness as a movie prop is not a justification for its cost.
But damn, was there some kit. Product placement by Microsoft, Nokia (I think), IHOP, et al joined by Lockheed-Martin and the US Army. The use of military kit was sufficient, and sufficiently similar to reality in places, to set off my It Does Not Work Like That geek reflex. Also, on subsequent research, yes, the AH-6 is indeed exactly the correct helicopter. Despite looking about as useful as a toffee hammer. Why do the Rangers use AH-6s rather than a Black Hawk and a couple of real attack helicopters? But apparently they do.
2.
They're still paying scientific advisors by the word. Except here, the director wouldn't even speak to the advisor, so the conversation was limited to the special-effects directors (who had less money to throw at them compared to in Star Trek Into Darkness). Spoilers in white, which I'm still amused is labelled 'ffffff'. How can Superman fly? Gravitics. How do we show effortless super-strength easily? Leap tall buildings in a single bound. What would happen if *this* hit *this*, *this* fast? Wouldn't be much city left. What happens if a human is accelerated *this* hard? Red [oh, sorry, out of words].
3.
All the characters had read about ten lines ahead in the script. I know that it's a dumb thing to complain about, but it's just sloppy. I mean, decent implementation of a Scientist! using the Science! skill repeatedly, but it's amazing what people know about things that yesterday they'd have been calling crazy talk. Could have been better handled or at least lampshaded. But of course the only reason that I was noticing it was that some of them were actually talking like people on occasion.
4.
So, the actual film. It's about Super-Man. I'm hyphenating it, and I'm hyphenating it for a very good reason. Super-Man, bitten by a radioactive Man, becomes a ravening, terrible Man-Man! Like a Man, but more! Watch him do what a Man's Got To Do, but again and harder! Watch him flash further and further back into his laughable attempt at a troubled past! Watch him attempt to be a caring, sensitive, gentle New Man as circumstances, evil bad guys and even the three-actiest three-act script since The Godfather catapult him through the hero's journey and into orbit! Gasp as he carefully steers himself back down out of orbit to a target not a hundred yards from his lift-off point! Wince with every woman required to feature in a tale fundamentally designed to do for Super-Man what was done so nicely for Batman! Count the thousands of casualties from collateral damage, let alone all the people killed onscreen! Watch him fight an Unreconstructed Older Man in a Man-Off that levels cities!
...watch them carry off what is actually a perfectly watchable film. It's not worth what they're giving it, but it's not bad.
tl:dr? I'd cheerfully see it again, it's no Green Lantern, but it's no Avengers Assemble either. And yeah, I'm sorry, Clark, but when even Captain America is laughing (or at least raising a politely amused eyebrow) at your troubled past, you are going to have to downgrade those 'issues' to 'neuroses' at best.