Confused as all hell.
This is fucking gay.
I don't understand why things have to be like this.
Do you even remember all the good times we had together? Or did all the bad times just completly block those out because deep down inside I feel like he just dropped me. We were together for two fucking years. On and off. How could someone just do this..I don't get it. I guess he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now..but I have a really bad feeling i'm going to see him with some better, nicer, prettier chick someday. And that's when all hell breaks loose.
Ahhhhhh. I also don't understand how he can treat me like this. I told him to tell me if he didn't want to hang out then to just nicely let me know he needs his space for the day or however long so I don't get upset. But no. Today he just said "I don't feel like hanging out with you today." Which just makes me think that there is a reason he doesn't want me there, something he doesn't want me to see, or someone. You know? I just get those bad feelings about things and he knows that. So then I wanted to see some of my friends that were at the same house that he was at, but he said no. I could not come inside to see them. He doesn't want to see me. "GO HOME. LEAVE." is what he said when I called and asked if it was okay if I could hang out with my friends for like 10 minutes. So now i'm home.
I really feel like I deserve more than this. After all the stuff I have done for him and all his friends, I get treated like this? Why did I do all that stuff then? I really don't know. If I knew I was going to be treated like a piece of crap then it wouldn't have happened. I don't think I deserve to be treated like this. Nobody does. For any reason. Am I the only person in this world with feelings? or am I the only one who even feels a little bit bad after being mean to someone? I just don't know how you can even be happy after being that mean to someone. For no really good reason.
I dunno. I don't get people. I don't get life. I don't really get the point of anything anymore. Nothing makes sense.
Nothing ever will make sense again. Not after this. I realized alot of things through this relationship and break-up. The good and the bad.
Of course I would be the happiest girl alive if he ever wanted to be with me, but I just hope it's different than it was before. I will be different and not be so bitchy and I won't take out my problems on him, and I hope he will start to appreciate me more and the things I do and just be nice to me..always. Unless I do something that was wrong. Not just something that HE thinks was wrong, something that was really wrong. Not right to do.
I'm rambling so i'm done now.
Lonely and confused,
Danielle
I don't understand why things have to be like this.
Do you even remember all the good times we had together? Or did all the bad times just completly block those out because deep down inside I feel like he just dropped me. We were together for two fucking years. On and off. How could someone just do this..I don't get it. I guess he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now..but I have a really bad feeling i'm going to see him with some better, nicer, prettier chick someday. And that's when all hell breaks loose.
Ahhhhhh. I also don't understand how he can treat me like this. I told him to tell me if he didn't want to hang out then to just nicely let me know he needs his space for the day or however long so I don't get upset. But no. Today he just said "I don't feel like hanging out with you today." Which just makes me think that there is a reason he doesn't want me there, something he doesn't want me to see, or someone. You know? I just get those bad feelings about things and he knows that. So then I wanted to see some of my friends that were at the same house that he was at, but he said no. I could not come inside to see them. He doesn't want to see me. "GO HOME. LEAVE." is what he said when I called and asked if it was okay if I could hang out with my friends for like 10 minutes. So now i'm home.
I really feel like I deserve more than this. After all the stuff I have done for him and all his friends, I get treated like this? Why did I do all that stuff then? I really don't know. If I knew I was going to be treated like a piece of crap then it wouldn't have happened. I don't think I deserve to be treated like this. Nobody does. For any reason. Am I the only person in this world with feelings? or am I the only one who even feels a little bit bad after being mean to someone? I just don't know how you can even be happy after being that mean to someone. For no really good reason.
I dunno. I don't get people. I don't get life. I don't really get the point of anything anymore. Nothing makes sense.
Nothing ever will make sense again. Not after this. I realized alot of things through this relationship and break-up. The good and the bad.
Of course I would be the happiest girl alive if he ever wanted to be with me, but I just hope it's different than it was before. I will be different and not be so bitchy and I won't take out my problems on him, and I hope he will start to appreciate me more and the things I do and just be nice to me..always. Unless I do something that was wrong. Not just something that HE thinks was wrong, something that was really wrong. Not right to do.
I'm rambling so i'm done now.
Lonely and confused,
Danielle