Sins Like Skeletons Are So Very Hard To Hide (12/?)
Title: Sins Like Skeletons Are So Very Hard To Hide (12/?)
Author: Tori (chuck_and_pink ) and Chelsey (repulsive_x )
Rating: Rish?
Pairing: Ryan/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Mentioned Ryan/Pete
Summary: Panic! is a band with lots of secrets. Secrets only the members know. Hidden relationships, hidden feelings, and the secret truth come out. There are twists to these young boys lives. Tears are shed and hearts are broken. New loves form, and old ones fail. But in the end, its like it's supposed to be.
Disclaimer: It’s as fake as Ashlee Simpson’s [not so] new face
Authors Notes: We don’t have chapters or people we specifically write for, its mostly just all over the place. The title was taken from the song reclusion by Anberlin.
I dont think theres many people that are ever going to read this, and I've pretty much forgotten all about it, but for those of you that are... well, I decided to just post what i have even if its really really crappy. Because, I mean, it's just sitting on my computer after all, I mine as well post it. This chapter and the rest will be unbeta'd so please just ignore mistakes, or let me know.
Previous Chapters Here
Ryan
Fuck this. I can’t deal with this, too! First Pete comes back, tries to ‘fix’ our problems but only makes them worse. And then Brendon breaks up with me? What the hell? And on a fucking text, at that?! I mean, why am I even being so fucking emotional about this anyway? It wasn’t like Brendon and I were dating to begin with, were we? No, I had told him time and time again that it was just sex. Just mind numbing, heart racing, beautiful sex.
No. Not beautiful. Just sex. Just dick in butt sex. God, Ryan. Cant you just get that in your thick skull?
Yeah. Now, I’m being hard on myself. Well I have to be, right? No one else will. I’m too fragile or something to be told things bluntly. Everyone sugar coats it, and walks on eggshells around me. Except Jon. I love Jon for that, but right now, I actually hate him. I really do. Because of him, and because of Brendon, I’ve come to the realization that I’m fucking myself over.
But I guess life goes on. And so do I.
So that’s why I’m sitting here, a month after Pete showed up, a month after Brendon broke up with me, and a month since Pete has talked to anyone in Panic!. Our last show is in a month, and then hopefully by then, all this drama will be over with. Right now though, all I can concentrate on is the plastic cup of whiskey and coke. I need to get shitfaced, and forget everything. So I down the drink, feeling the burn of the half and half mixture slid down my throat. The burn I thrive for.
Everyone thinks that because of my stupid ass dad drank and beat me, that I don’t drink. That’s a lie. I don’t know how it started, but not true. I like drinking. I live for after the shows to get drunk. I itch and can’t sit still if we don’t have any form of liquor on the bus. One time, I actually downed a bottle of mouthwash, just to calm myself down. I don’t have a problem, I can promise that. I just enjoy the sensation of being invincible while having a bit of alcohol in my system. It warms me up and makes me brave.
The bus hit a bump and a giggle escaped my lips, making the sleeping Spencer stir beside me. I didn’t want to wake him up. I liked just watching him sleep. He seemed almost happy like this, very different from what he was awake. It’s almost like the second his eyes opened, everything flashed before his eyes, and all he could pick out were the bad things. Almost like his life was ruined. And a big part of it was because of me.
I sighed as I got up and stumbled to the kitchen area to pour myself another drink. I didn’t want to waste my time with coke. That shit is stupid. No. Just the JD for me right now. I want this night, scratch that, my life, to be a blur.
I think I was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor when a groggy, half-sleeping Brendon dressed only a skimpy pair of his fluorescent boxers came stumbling out of the bunk room. On his way to the fridge he nearly tripped over me, almost causing himself to go flying and knocking that pretty little head of his onto the counter.
“What the fuck?!”
I looked up at him sheepishly, lopsided grin on my face. “Woops?”
He rubbed his sleepy eyes, making sure he was seeing things right, then yet out another yawn. He looked at me for a few minutes, then up to the counter, eyes landing on my almost empty alcohol bottle. “Christ, Ryan.”
I blinked, that ridiculous looking smile still on my face.
He shook his head, opening the fridge and pulled out a water bottle. He didn’t even look over at me as he mumbled, “You’re going to kill yourself.”
“Good.”
He rolled his eyes, making his way past me and out of the kitchen area. “Whatever,” he was almost at the bunk door when he called back to me, “you need some help.”
Author: Tori (chuck_and_pink ) and Chelsey (repulsive_x )
Rating: Rish?
Pairing: Ryan/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Mentioned Ryan/Pete
Summary: Panic! is a band with lots of secrets. Secrets only the members know. Hidden relationships, hidden feelings, and the secret truth come out. There are twists to these young boys lives. Tears are shed and hearts are broken. New loves form, and old ones fail. But in the end, its like it's supposed to be.
Disclaimer: It’s as fake as Ashlee Simpson’s [not so] new face
Authors Notes: We don’t have chapters or people we specifically write for, its mostly just all over the place. The title was taken from the song reclusion by Anberlin.
I dont think theres many people that are ever going to read this, and I've pretty much forgotten all about it, but for those of you that are... well, I decided to just post what i have even if its really really crappy. Because, I mean, it's just sitting on my computer after all, I mine as well post it. This chapter and the rest will be unbeta'd so please just ignore mistakes, or let me know.
Previous Chapters Here
Ryan
Fuck this. I can’t deal with this, too! First Pete comes back, tries to ‘fix’ our problems but only makes them worse. And then Brendon breaks up with me? What the hell? And on a fucking text, at that?! I mean, why am I even being so fucking emotional about this anyway? It wasn’t like Brendon and I were dating to begin with, were we? No, I had told him time and time again that it was just sex. Just mind numbing, heart racing, beautiful sex.
No. Not beautiful. Just sex. Just dick in butt sex. God, Ryan. Cant you just get that in your thick skull?
Yeah. Now, I’m being hard on myself. Well I have to be, right? No one else will. I’m too fragile or something to be told things bluntly. Everyone sugar coats it, and walks on eggshells around me. Except Jon. I love Jon for that, but right now, I actually hate him. I really do. Because of him, and because of Brendon, I’ve come to the realization that I’m fucking myself over.
But I guess life goes on. And so do I.
So that’s why I’m sitting here, a month after Pete showed up, a month after Brendon broke up with me, and a month since Pete has talked to anyone in Panic!. Our last show is in a month, and then hopefully by then, all this drama will be over with. Right now though, all I can concentrate on is the plastic cup of whiskey and coke. I need to get shitfaced, and forget everything. So I down the drink, feeling the burn of the half and half mixture slid down my throat. The burn I thrive for.
Everyone thinks that because of my stupid ass dad drank and beat me, that I don’t drink. That’s a lie. I don’t know how it started, but not true. I like drinking. I live for after the shows to get drunk. I itch and can’t sit still if we don’t have any form of liquor on the bus. One time, I actually downed a bottle of mouthwash, just to calm myself down. I don’t have a problem, I can promise that. I just enjoy the sensation of being invincible while having a bit of alcohol in my system. It warms me up and makes me brave.
The bus hit a bump and a giggle escaped my lips, making the sleeping Spencer stir beside me. I didn’t want to wake him up. I liked just watching him sleep. He seemed almost happy like this, very different from what he was awake. It’s almost like the second his eyes opened, everything flashed before his eyes, and all he could pick out were the bad things. Almost like his life was ruined. And a big part of it was because of me.
I sighed as I got up and stumbled to the kitchen area to pour myself another drink. I didn’t want to waste my time with coke. That shit is stupid. No. Just the JD for me right now. I want this night, scratch that, my life, to be a blur.
I think I was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor when a groggy, half-sleeping Brendon dressed only a skimpy pair of his fluorescent boxers came stumbling out of the bunk room. On his way to the fridge he nearly tripped over me, almost causing himself to go flying and knocking that pretty little head of his onto the counter.
“What the fuck?!”
I looked up at him sheepishly, lopsided grin on my face. “Woops?”
He rubbed his sleepy eyes, making sure he was seeing things right, then yet out another yawn. He looked at me for a few minutes, then up to the counter, eyes landing on my almost empty alcohol bottle. “Christ, Ryan.”
I blinked, that ridiculous looking smile still on my face.
He shook his head, opening the fridge and pulled out a water bottle. He didn’t even look over at me as he mumbled, “You’re going to kill yourself.”
“Good.”
He rolled his eyes, making his way past me and out of the kitchen area. “Whatever,” he was almost at the bunk door when he called back to me, “you need some help.”