Purity and Resolve
True understanding is only ever achieved through the first step of release. Memories of past wrongs and incomprehensible injustice seem to serve only as catalysts for hate which is so often misplaced and act as hindrances for any type of gained wisdom or resolve. In the mind of man it is so simple to exaggerate sadness and overemphasize contentment simultaneously. In the same breath we betray both residual anger and unquenched affection for those which we regard with such contempt but whose loss we secretly mourn with silent tears shed in the shadow of solitude. If ever there was a line on which we treaded so delicately then it would be that between love and hate, the purest of human emotions which bind us in a state of complete confusion and inconsistency. To truly hate is to feel nothing but the sweetness of indifference and to love is to understand that in there is no distinction between tenderness and ferocity, nor a way to disentangle onself from the web of deceit and truth, of allegiance and rivalry which construe the single form of solace which we spend our entire lives seeking. There is something beautiful in the realization that every hand which touches ours, every face which engraves itself in memory in some way contributes to the construction of who we are and will become. We carry these exchanges as emblems, not scars, of an existence which only we are compelled to justify. And in the end it is only the light in our eyes glowing from places unseen which betrays our ability to stop struggling against the conflict within. To lament loss and grieve defeat is only natural in the resolution to our daunting humanity, a journey which draws both cries of anguish and of eureka to our lips. And to love is but a burden which we carry on wearied shoulders, a song of our intricate inaudible histories. There is no way to disentwine the two, but it is this which keeps the light ever-burning. I still catch glimpses of it in the distance, the promise of an untold future, the breaking of a new day.
08 October 2006