(no subject)
Stream of thoughts:
-I feel really disoriented lately. Thats the only way to describe it. Being finished school and basically hunting for the best job i can find. It's funny how for the past 5 years i had complete direction, and now that complete direction is on hold till further notice. The irony of working so hard for 2 years, is to finish those 2 years to be too lazy to fight for the job you've aimed for at the cost of it being more stressful that this monotonous job that I have stumbled on getting.
-So am I saying I want to have a job where I just repetatively process books all day and daydream/listen to music? I ahve no complaints, i just got the job and I love it for now. But it just indulges my tendency to zone out for HOURS and almost completely stop thinking.
-I am scared. Scared of actually having a job doing what i have wanted to do for the past while. It's interesting how a mindless job is so comforting when you know you could do so much more, rather then actually strive for a challenge.
-I have realized i have a horrible procrastination problem, and as long as I am intelligent i will never be able to overcome it.
-I dreamed of sexual encounters for most of the bus ride home today
-James, Mr.Strange, and I are going to start a record label. This combonation of people is perfect to really pull this off. We can all contribute the right things to this effort. I most look forward to the photos we are going to take. Plus the return of Zihad and Zaheed, which someone have developed a huge following. I had no clue about this.
-Sometimes I notice that i'm walking with my hands in my pockets, and i wonder how long i've been walking like that for. So i take my hands out of my pockets and continue in a slightly expressive stroll.
-Somehow, what was a great haircut while short, has been having growing pains. My hair seems to be shorter in odd places. This will be fixed by waiting another 3 months and then deciding to finally get it cut again.
-I have a problem accepting that clothes are not free.
-I've been falling asleep in public and waking up in irratic/embaressing spazms. I'd probably be embaressed if i didn't pretend that they didn't happen right after.
-Lately I have found myself attracted to older women. Much older
-I feel really disoriented lately. Thats the only way to describe it. Being finished school and basically hunting for the best job i can find. It's funny how for the past 5 years i had complete direction, and now that complete direction is on hold till further notice. The irony of working so hard for 2 years, is to finish those 2 years to be too lazy to fight for the job you've aimed for at the cost of it being more stressful that this monotonous job that I have stumbled on getting.
-So am I saying I want to have a job where I just repetatively process books all day and daydream/listen to music? I ahve no complaints, i just got the job and I love it for now. But it just indulges my tendency to zone out for HOURS and almost completely stop thinking.
-I am scared. Scared of actually having a job doing what i have wanted to do for the past while. It's interesting how a mindless job is so comforting when you know you could do so much more, rather then actually strive for a challenge.
-I have realized i have a horrible procrastination problem, and as long as I am intelligent i will never be able to overcome it.
-I dreamed of sexual encounters for most of the bus ride home today
-James, Mr.Strange, and I are going to start a record label. This combonation of people is perfect to really pull this off. We can all contribute the right things to this effort. I most look forward to the photos we are going to take. Plus the return of Zihad and Zaheed, which someone have developed a huge following. I had no clue about this.
-Sometimes I notice that i'm walking with my hands in my pockets, and i wonder how long i've been walking like that for. So i take my hands out of my pockets and continue in a slightly expressive stroll.
-Somehow, what was a great haircut while short, has been having growing pains. My hair seems to be shorter in odd places. This will be fixed by waiting another 3 months and then deciding to finally get it cut again.
-I have a problem accepting that clothes are not free.
-I've been falling asleep in public and waking up in irratic/embaressing spazms. I'd probably be embaressed if i didn't pretend that they didn't happen right after.
-Lately I have found myself attracted to older women. Much older