Drabble-age: Lesser of Two Evils (869 words, Marui + Niou + Avril Lavigne)
Title: Lesser of Two Evils
Author: Ociwen
Rating: PG13ish
Wordcount: 869
Disclaimer: Konomi owns all.
Summary: Marui has a tough decision to make. More Marui + Niou "antifriendship", written for fuhjin. Just because. &hearts
He had two tickets.
Jackal flaked out.
"Date-o," he said.
Marui's shoulders slumped.
Kirihara said no.
"That kind of music is gross," he said.
Marui's stomach slithered between his feet.
Yagyuu had cram school.
"But," he said, "Niou-kun likes that singer."
Marui snorted. "Yeah? Well, he's got lame taste."
Only later, when Yagyuu walked off with a funny look on his face, did Marui realize he'd dissed himself in the process.
Genius, however, never admitted defeat. Or moronic moments.
***
He had a choice.
Go to the concert alone and be super lame by himself.
Or, go with that asshole.
It was a waste of ten thousand yen either way.
Niou slunk around practice. He left water balloons in Sanada's tennisbag and water-filled condoms in Yukimura's. It would have been almost funny, except for the fact Yukimura threw one and he had aim like a chick. Marui was hit square in the back.
"What the hell!" he yelled.
Niou laughed. Marui stomped up and dumped his Gatorade on the bleached loser's head. Niou lunged. Marui dove.
"Fatass!"
"Retard!"
"Fucking Lame Douchewad!"
Marui spit on Niou. Niou kneed him in the side. Sanada was running over and flailing his arms as he yelled.
50 laps.
"Your dick smells like cheese," Marui said.
Always get the last word, no matter what. Niou stopped running long enough to scratch his head. He cupped his hands around his pie-hole and yelled, "Yeah well maybe Yagyuu likes it!"
Marui couldn't think of a comeback. In the midst of laps, his Genius deserted him. His ribs burned.
On the forty-fourth lap he collapsed. Niou was one step behind him. Gum choked the back of Marui's throat. It tasted like wallpaper paste by now.
"Got tickets," he said. He gasped. Niou wheezed.
"Avril Lavigne, April 1st."
Niou's eyes went wide. He staggered to his feet. "Really?"
"Yeah, but you can only come if you promise to not be a gaylord groupie," Marui said.
Always get the last word. Even if Niou was winded and couldn't talk back in the first place.
***
Niou brought lighters.
Marui brought wristbands. Striped with skulls on them. Avril would approve.
Niou knew all the lyrics to Girlfriend.
Marui knew Skater Boy by heart. AND his pronunciation was better than every single other fan's in the stadium. He knew it. He took a deep breath and puffed up his chest. It felt good.
At least with the music so loud that the beat thumped through his body and made him nauseous he didn't have to listen to that loser talking. Not that he did. All eyes were on Avril. She wore hot pants and had bleached blonde hair with pink highlights.
"Fucking hot," Marui said. He licked his lips. Niou passed him a lighter. They waved them above their heads. The tension was good. The atmosphere was even better. Avril screamed something in English. Marui screamed back. Avril screamed Tokyo. Niou screamed I love you.
They bought merch and took shots on Marui's cellphone. Two kids, victory signs and the giant poster of Avril's face behind them. Niou made a lame face, though, and Marui made him redo the shot.
And then…
There was Avril.
"She goes out this exit," Niou said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. Marui dumped his merch bags and popped a bubble.
At half-past twelve, she appeared. With an entourage, but Marui would know her anywhere. He screamed her name. She didn't look up. Niou screamed her name. She looked up.
She looked at them. She waved and said "Hi". Marui's loins were enflamed. He swooned. Niou caught him. Avril took a picture with them on Marui's cellphone and he swooned again.
Marui barfed on the night bus back to Kanagawa.
Niou pinky-swore not to tell anyone that. If Marui didn't tell anyone that he may have uttered inappropriate things to Avril about marriage and running away to Saipan together.
Marui agreed. Niou was an idiot if he thought Avril would run away anywhere with him. After all, it was his cellphone that had proof of her love for him, not Niou's.
***
"You guys are practically friends, you know."
Marui's bubble deflated. Kirihara snickered.
"You went on a date and everything. Doesn't that make you friends now?" Kirihara asked.
Marui sputtered. "It was not a date! It was a concert! And we're not friends, dumbo. We're-"
Niou faked a yawn. "As if I would ever be friends with someone who had more Chins than China."
Marui blinked. "Yeah? Well you're so lame that the doctors couldn't tell your face from your ass when you were born!"
"That was worse than usual," Jackal said.
"Butt out!" Marui snapped. He glared. And then he groaned when Niou laughed and said it was an even lamer pun.
"It was a good concert," Niou said. "Even if the company stank like stupid."
"It was a good night," Marui said. "Even if the company bleached his brains out."
Sanada walked by. He took one look at them down his nose and raised his eyebrows. His cap crept back on his forehead. "Friends," he grumbled.
Marui and Niou launched a joint tickle attack on Sanada. He didn't stand a chance.
Author: Ociwen
Rating: PG13ish
Wordcount: 869
Disclaimer: Konomi owns all.
Summary: Marui has a tough decision to make. More Marui + Niou "antifriendship", written for fuhjin. Just because. &hearts
He had two tickets.
Jackal flaked out.
"Date-o," he said.
Marui's shoulders slumped.
Kirihara said no.
"That kind of music is gross," he said.
Marui's stomach slithered between his feet.
Yagyuu had cram school.
"But," he said, "Niou-kun likes that singer."
Marui snorted. "Yeah? Well, he's got lame taste."
Only later, when Yagyuu walked off with a funny look on his face, did Marui realize he'd dissed himself in the process.
Genius, however, never admitted defeat. Or moronic moments.
***
He had a choice.
Go to the concert alone and be super lame by himself.
Or, go with that asshole.
It was a waste of ten thousand yen either way.
Niou slunk around practice. He left water balloons in Sanada's tennisbag and water-filled condoms in Yukimura's. It would have been almost funny, except for the fact Yukimura threw one and he had aim like a chick. Marui was hit square in the back.
"What the hell!" he yelled.
Niou laughed. Marui stomped up and dumped his Gatorade on the bleached loser's head. Niou lunged. Marui dove.
"Fatass!"
"Retard!"
"Fucking Lame Douchewad!"
Marui spit on Niou. Niou kneed him in the side. Sanada was running over and flailing his arms as he yelled.
50 laps.
"Your dick smells like cheese," Marui said.
Always get the last word, no matter what. Niou stopped running long enough to scratch his head. He cupped his hands around his pie-hole and yelled, "Yeah well maybe Yagyuu likes it!"
Marui couldn't think of a comeback. In the midst of laps, his Genius deserted him. His ribs burned.
On the forty-fourth lap he collapsed. Niou was one step behind him. Gum choked the back of Marui's throat. It tasted like wallpaper paste by now.
"Got tickets," he said. He gasped. Niou wheezed.
"Avril Lavigne, April 1st."
Niou's eyes went wide. He staggered to his feet. "Really?"
"Yeah, but you can only come if you promise to not be a gaylord groupie," Marui said.
Always get the last word. Even if Niou was winded and couldn't talk back in the first place.
***
Niou brought lighters.
Marui brought wristbands. Striped with skulls on them. Avril would approve.
Niou knew all the lyrics to Girlfriend.
Marui knew Skater Boy by heart. AND his pronunciation was better than every single other fan's in the stadium. He knew it. He took a deep breath and puffed up his chest. It felt good.
At least with the music so loud that the beat thumped through his body and made him nauseous he didn't have to listen to that loser talking. Not that he did. All eyes were on Avril. She wore hot pants and had bleached blonde hair with pink highlights.
"Fucking hot," Marui said. He licked his lips. Niou passed him a lighter. They waved them above their heads. The tension was good. The atmosphere was even better. Avril screamed something in English. Marui screamed back. Avril screamed Tokyo. Niou screamed I love you.
They bought merch and took shots on Marui's cellphone. Two kids, victory signs and the giant poster of Avril's face behind them. Niou made a lame face, though, and Marui made him redo the shot.
And then…
There was Avril.
"She goes out this exit," Niou said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. Marui dumped his merch bags and popped a bubble.
At half-past twelve, she appeared. With an entourage, but Marui would know her anywhere. He screamed her name. She didn't look up. Niou screamed her name. She looked up.
She looked at them. She waved and said "Hi". Marui's loins were enflamed. He swooned. Niou caught him. Avril took a picture with them on Marui's cellphone and he swooned again.
Marui barfed on the night bus back to Kanagawa.
Niou pinky-swore not to tell anyone that. If Marui didn't tell anyone that he may have uttered inappropriate things to Avril about marriage and running away to Saipan together.
Marui agreed. Niou was an idiot if he thought Avril would run away anywhere with him. After all, it was his cellphone that had proof of her love for him, not Niou's.
***
"You guys are practically friends, you know."
Marui's bubble deflated. Kirihara snickered.
"You went on a date and everything. Doesn't that make you friends now?" Kirihara asked.
Marui sputtered. "It was not a date! It was a concert! And we're not friends, dumbo. We're-"
Niou faked a yawn. "As if I would ever be friends with someone who had more Chins than China."
Marui blinked. "Yeah? Well you're so lame that the doctors couldn't tell your face from your ass when you were born!"
"That was worse than usual," Jackal said.
"Butt out!" Marui snapped. He glared. And then he groaned when Niou laughed and said it was an even lamer pun.
"It was a good concert," Niou said. "Even if the company stank like stupid."
"It was a good night," Marui said. "Even if the company bleached his brains out."
Sanada walked by. He took one look at them down his nose and raised his eyebrows. His cap crept back on his forehead. "Friends," he grumbled.
Marui and Niou launched a joint tickle attack on Sanada. He didn't stand a chance.