Drabble-age (Internet Politics, Inui + Facebook, PGish)
Title: Internet Politics: A Layman's Reference, by Inui Sadaharu
Author: Ociwen
Wordcount: 2200
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: Konomi owns all.
Summary: Inui + facebook = NOTP.
Author's Notes: pixxers is a horrible enabler, but really, facebook is just dumb most of the time....
News Feed:
Tezuka Kunimitsu is practicing tennis. 8:10am
Tezuka Kunimitsu joined the Seigaku Network. 7:50am
Kikumaru joined the group If I bounce one hundred times, then will my head spin 360 and fall off? 4:44am
Oishi Shuichiroh is worrying again! 4:24am
Sanada Genichiroh and Yanagi Renji are now friends. 4:09am
Atobe Keigo is attending Holy Crap he’s 16!! Taka-san's Birthday It’s Burning!. 3:29am
Fuji Shuusuke and Inui Sadaharu are now friends. 1:33am
Fuji Shuusuke joined the group Cactuses - Not Too Prickly Really. 1:13am
Kaidoh Kaoru is running 12:53am
Kaidoh Kaoru and Echizen Ryoma are now friends. 12:33am
Inui hunched over his keyboard, eyes big on the glowing monitor. His parents were asleep; they wouldn’t know that he was still online, like he had been, since just after 6am, updating his profile.
He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Aa,” he muttered. “Renji.”
He clicked on Renji’s name, pleased with himself that Renji must have finally acquired his own facebook. Perfect tool for collecting data. Inui didn’t need to waste quite as many hours lurking outside windows and garden gates when he had the tools of technology at his fingertips and the latest teenage webcraze.
Add to friends.
Inui double-clicked, just to make sure. “How do I know him?” Inui didn’t need to give it a second thought. He clicked all the options, from We hooked up to Went to school together. There was no way Renji was escaping this time. He may have eluded Inui on MSN, AIM, ICQ, messageboards, bebo AND myspace, but this time, Inui would have all of Renji’s data.
Backtracking, Inui brought himself to Sanada’s profile. Nothing had changed, except Sanada added a couple new pictures to his albums. Inui wiggled his fingers on the mouse, smirking when he saw the shots of Yukimura at tennis practice.
“His arm is bent at a 30 degree angle for that shot,” Inui whispered under his breath. “Interesting. The top spin might…” He jotted it down in his notebook. He would need to test that variable later.
His email box pinged, alerting him to a new message. Inui clicked, saw the facebook notification for a comment on his profile. He clicked on it, and saw:
Horio Satoshi (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:07am on April 6th:
INUI SENPAI!!!!! I SAW KAIDOH SENPAI JOGGING AFTER DARK111!!!!! HE NEVER RUNS AFTER DINER!!!! U SHOULD NO!!!
Can kachiroh and I sit with u guys at lunch tomorrow??!!??
On Horio’s profile:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:09am on April 6th:
:/
Then, back to Sanada’s messageboard:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:10am on April 6th:
Rikkai Dai’s Sanada, tell Renji to friend me back.
Sanada Genichiroh (Yokohama, Japan) wrote at 9:15am on April 6th:
No. Stop bothering Rikkai Dai.
Sighing, Inui went back to his newsfeed, clicked on Renji’s name, and sent another friending notification through. “I know you are online, Renji,” he murmured, “100% chance.” He sat back for a moment and sipped on his straw. The juice was thicker than usual this morning, probability that it was caused from the unripe banana variable: 73%.
Except, a new piece of news popped up:
Kaidoh Kaoru and Kirihara Akaya are now friends. 9:20am
Inui laughed to himself, keeping his voice low so his parents wouldn’t hear.
Kirihara friended him back almost instantly. It was too good an opportunity. The chance it would repeat itself? Extremely unlikely, less than 5%.
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:25am on April 6th:
why did u friend me?
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:26am on April 6th:
Why did you friend me back?
Quickly scanning his stacks of junk for the Rikkai volume: Kirihara Akaya, Inui wrote down:
Far too quick to use proper judgment of the motives of others.
Response time to facebook friending: 1 minute (April 6th)
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:25am on April 6th:
u r really irritating. my senpais told me that. but i want more facebook friends than buchou.
And then, in his notebook, writing so fast that the ink bled across the page and smudged on Inui’s fingertips:
Obsession with his captain (Yukimura) very interesting. Appears to have an extreme desire to best his senpais Renji included???
Inui ignored Kirihara’s latest comment because he could see one name, the most recent comments besides his own on Kirihara Akaya’s messageboard:
Tezuka Kunimitsu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:32am on April 6th:
You are disrespecting your superior. I will tell your captain if you do not cease this juvenile behavior.
And then, on Tezuka’s profile:
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:36am on April 6th:
u r really annoying too. and retarded bcuz im the captain now, idiot.
Inui waited, slurping more of his juice until the straw sucked air at the bottom of the glass. Tezuka didn’t respond to Kirihara’s comments any further. Inui could feel a slight frown playing at the sides of his mouth. Feeling of disappointment? 81%
Inui backclicked to his newsfeed, one last time. The letters on the screen started to blur- maybe he did spend too much time online already this morning, but with being a freshman in high school now, he wasn’t on the team and had no real life yet. No, he could spend this year collecting data, and then next year do something useful.
Kirihara Akaya has changed their relationship status to: in a relationship. 10:10am
Inui could feel himself perking up already. He cracked his knuckles (increased speed of clicking the mouse) and checked it out. When he saw the name at the bottom of the page, in the comments, his heart pounded five beats per minute faster.
Renji.
Yanagi Renji (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:54am on April 6th:
Akaya change your status.
Inui refreshed the page.
Yanagi Renji (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 10:11am on April 6th:
Akaya ignore him. He’s a pest. He wants to collect your data. You should defriend him. Genichirou is ignoring me when I said he should defriend Sadaharu, too.
But you can tell him I said to STOP bothering us.
And tell him I said to get a life.
You want to practice later today? ^____^
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:17am on April 6th:
Kirihara Akaya tell Renji to stop ignoring my requests.
A ping, from his email. Not one, but three emails from facebook alerted Inui to his comments:
Kaidoh Kaoru (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:12am on April 6th:
Senpai, can u help that moron and me with practice schedules? He fucked them up again.
Kaidoh Kaoru (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:13am on April 6th:
Sorry, senpai, I meant that idiot screwed them up. Plz help.
-Kaidoh Kaoru
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 10:23am on April 6th:
yanagi senpai says go away. but im not defriending u bcuz I want more facebook friends. ill crush u!!!
Inui stroked his chin. He could feel the one straggly hair slightly bristlier than the rest, growing on the side of his jaw. He should have shaved it, but 39% chance it made him feel older to have it kept the razor away yet another day.
More messages popped up in his email. Inui could feel his stomach flipping with glee. He grabbed an extra two pens from underneath a stale bento from last week, just in case the 43% chance that his current pen ran out of ink before he wrote every bit of data down.
Tezuka Kunimitsu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:32am on April 6th:
Inui, someone told me you are bothering Rikkai again. Is this true? Have you done anything to personally offend them again?
Inui frowned. Tezuka, meddling with his data, yet again. The back of his mind suggested that the likely culprit was Sanada Genichiroh, who was online still (85% chance, unless Rikkai Dai had begun spring practices on Sundays- 0.7% chance).
On Tezuka’s messageboard, Inui quickly typed:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:40am on April 6th:
I don’t know what you are talking about. Are you and Echizen practicing this afternoon?
Tezuka Kunimitsu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:41am on April 6th:
Don’t change the topic, Inui. Are you mocking me?
I am only interested in peace. Stop sowing the seeds of discord.
Yudan sezu ni ikou!
Inui pushed his dirty stack of paper plates off his desk, then reached behind his empty CD for that volume.
Tezuka Kunimitsu: Special Data
Chance of Tezuka “sowing the seeds” [of teenage hormones?] on Echizen? 78%: see April 6th, 10:41am comment on my facebook.
Feeling slightly miffed, Inui took a moment to chew on his words, before he typed out, then retyped after deleting some of his response:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:40am on April 6th:
As much as it pains me, Tezuka, your comments are not appreciated. Please return my Arashi CD tomorrow at school. I want to listen to it.
It hurt, like a jab to his chest, when Inui clicked “remove from friends” on Tezuka’s name. “It’s for your own good,” Inui said. “I’ll re-add you next week when you want that math homework from me.”
However, more pressing issues existed. Like Renji. Inui went back to Kirihara’s messageboard, having gone silent since his last comment there, and wrote:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:55am on April 6th:
You changed your relationship status.
Kirihara was slow to respond, giving Inui enough time to ready his pen and notebook for the high possibility of Kirihara being unable to hold back. But, as the minutes ticked, Inui grew slightly worried that his assumption of Kirihara’s eagerness to divulge information in favour of increasing his status against his senpais was losing its veracity.
Finally-
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:03am on April 6th:
yanagi senpai says stop asking questions like that
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:05am on April 6th:
What does that mean exactly?
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:07am on April 6th:
stfu and go away
ill really crush u
Inui’s heartrate increased again. This petty teenage drama seemed to be affecting him, too. Which in turn, was even more distressing. And with Tezuka being obstinate again, Inui didn’t want to back down. Not that he was prone to acts of pathetic and passive-aggressive acts of revenge like Fuji, but…
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:08am on April 6th:
Is Renji there with you?
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:13am on April 6th:
some1 said that u should keep a tighter filter on whut u say bcuz it’s careless
Inui pushed his glasses up- they had slid all the way to the end of his nose and the computer screen started to shiver. He blinked. Inui knew he should back away from the monitor, and yet, the chance of his body actually doing that was 23%.
Somewhere, outside, a pigeon cooed in the world. Inui could hear the sound through his window, but the curtains were drawn, making his room gloomy and dim, like a cave. A cave for collecting data.
And one that smelled a bit like his old, mouldy gym socks, too.
He thought, Tezuka is talking about me with Kirihara.
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:18am on April 6th:
Tell Tezuka I have nothing to say to him.
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:21am on April 6th:
he says that ur not getting ur cd back unless u stop annoying people n ruining their reputations with ur data. ur not god
Dammit. Kirihara kept bringing the conversation back around. Inui balled his fists. He was the data master. He would not be manipulated by Rikkai Dai’s Kirihara. Or Tezuka. He manipulated them through his numbers and percentages.
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:27am on April 6th:
Tell Tezuka that if he doesn’t give it back, I will tell Fuji about his practices with Echizen.
Tell Renji to friend me back!!
Someone knocked on Inui’s door. Through the crack, his mother’s voice said, “Sadaharu, are you online again? If you don’t get off the computer soon, we’ll take away your computer privileges!”
Inui cursed under his breath.
Just as he was backclicking off facebook- and maybe there was a 12% chance he was hoping for some updated newsfeed- he saw:
Kirihara Akaya updated their photoalbum. 11:49am
It was too good not to click.
Inui could hear the flies buzzing in his ears and his jaw hanging open.
There, on the screen, were horrible awful photoshopped images.
The first, a very crudely cute photo of two glistening naked male bodies, with the tacked on heads of one Kirihara Akaya from Rikkai Dai and one Yanagi Renji.
The message below,
Yanagi Renji (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:51am on April 6th:
Does that answer your question, Sadaharu? ^_^
But it was the second image that made Inui’s head throb, fifteen pulsing beats per minute of agony.
The photoshopping was even worse. The skin tones didn’t match up and Tezuka’s head was 40% too large for the body below. A horrifying combination of breasts and legs open to reveal not a female but a man’s dick, approximately 7 inches long.
Inui could feel hot blood dribbling down from his nose.
Tezuka was going to blame him for this.
Author: Ociwen
Wordcount: 2200
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: Konomi owns all.
Summary: Inui + facebook = NOTP.
Author's Notes: pixxers is a horrible enabler, but really, facebook is just dumb most of the time....
News Feed:
Tezuka Kunimitsu is practicing tennis. 8:10am
Tezuka Kunimitsu joined the Seigaku Network. 7:50am
Kikumaru joined the group If I bounce one hundred times, then will my head spin 360 and fall off? 4:44am
Oishi Shuichiroh is worrying again! 4:24am
Sanada Genichiroh and Yanagi Renji are now friends. 4:09am
Atobe Keigo is attending Holy Crap he’s 16!! Taka-san's Birthday It’s Burning!. 3:29am
Fuji Shuusuke and Inui Sadaharu are now friends. 1:33am
Fuji Shuusuke joined the group Cactuses - Not Too Prickly Really. 1:13am
Kaidoh Kaoru is running 12:53am
Kaidoh Kaoru and Echizen Ryoma are now friends. 12:33am
Inui hunched over his keyboard, eyes big on the glowing monitor. His parents were asleep; they wouldn’t know that he was still online, like he had been, since just after 6am, updating his profile.
He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Aa,” he muttered. “Renji.”
He clicked on Renji’s name, pleased with himself that Renji must have finally acquired his own facebook. Perfect tool for collecting data. Inui didn’t need to waste quite as many hours lurking outside windows and garden gates when he had the tools of technology at his fingertips and the latest teenage webcraze.
Add to friends.
Inui double-clicked, just to make sure. “How do I know him?” Inui didn’t need to give it a second thought. He clicked all the options, from We hooked up to Went to school together. There was no way Renji was escaping this time. He may have eluded Inui on MSN, AIM, ICQ, messageboards, bebo AND myspace, but this time, Inui would have all of Renji’s data.
Backtracking, Inui brought himself to Sanada’s profile. Nothing had changed, except Sanada added a couple new pictures to his albums. Inui wiggled his fingers on the mouse, smirking when he saw the shots of Yukimura at tennis practice.
“His arm is bent at a 30 degree angle for that shot,” Inui whispered under his breath. “Interesting. The top spin might…” He jotted it down in his notebook. He would need to test that variable later.
His email box pinged, alerting him to a new message. Inui clicked, saw the facebook notification for a comment on his profile. He clicked on it, and saw:
Horio Satoshi (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:07am on April 6th:
INUI SENPAI!!!!! I SAW KAIDOH SENPAI JOGGING AFTER DARK111!!!!! HE NEVER RUNS AFTER DINER!!!! U SHOULD NO!!!
Can kachiroh and I sit with u guys at lunch tomorrow??!!??
On Horio’s profile:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:09am on April 6th:
:/
Then, back to Sanada’s messageboard:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:10am on April 6th:
Rikkai Dai’s Sanada, tell Renji to friend me back.
Sanada Genichiroh (Yokohama, Japan) wrote at 9:15am on April 6th:
No. Stop bothering Rikkai Dai.
Sighing, Inui went back to his newsfeed, clicked on Renji’s name, and sent another friending notification through. “I know you are online, Renji,” he murmured, “100% chance.” He sat back for a moment and sipped on his straw. The juice was thicker than usual this morning, probability that it was caused from the unripe banana variable: 73%.
Except, a new piece of news popped up:
Kaidoh Kaoru and Kirihara Akaya are now friends. 9:20am
Inui laughed to himself, keeping his voice low so his parents wouldn’t hear.
Kirihara friended him back almost instantly. It was too good an opportunity. The chance it would repeat itself? Extremely unlikely, less than 5%.
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:25am on April 6th:
why did u friend me?
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:26am on April 6th:
Why did you friend me back?
Quickly scanning his stacks of junk for the Rikkai volume: Kirihara Akaya, Inui wrote down:
Far too quick to use proper judgment of the motives of others.
Response time to facebook friending: 1 minute (April 6th)
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:25am on April 6th:
u r really irritating. my senpais told me that. but i want more facebook friends than buchou.
And then, in his notebook, writing so fast that the ink bled across the page and smudged on Inui’s fingertips:
Obsession with his captain (Yukimura) very interesting. Appears to have an extreme desire to best his senpais Renji included???
Inui ignored Kirihara’s latest comment because he could see one name, the most recent comments besides his own on Kirihara Akaya’s messageboard:
Tezuka Kunimitsu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 9:32am on April 6th:
You are disrespecting your superior. I will tell your captain if you do not cease this juvenile behavior.
And then, on Tezuka’s profile:
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:36am on April 6th:
u r really annoying too. and retarded bcuz im the captain now, idiot.
Inui waited, slurping more of his juice until the straw sucked air at the bottom of the glass. Tezuka didn’t respond to Kirihara’s comments any further. Inui could feel a slight frown playing at the sides of his mouth. Feeling of disappointment? 81%
Inui backclicked to his newsfeed, one last time. The letters on the screen started to blur- maybe he did spend too much time online already this morning, but with being a freshman in high school now, he wasn’t on the team and had no real life yet. No, he could spend this year collecting data, and then next year do something useful.
Kirihara Akaya has changed their relationship status to: in a relationship. 10:10am
Inui could feel himself perking up already. He cracked his knuckles (increased speed of clicking the mouse) and checked it out. When he saw the name at the bottom of the page, in the comments, his heart pounded five beats per minute faster.
Renji.
Yanagi Renji (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 9:54am on April 6th:
Akaya change your status.
Inui refreshed the page.
Yanagi Renji (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 10:11am on April 6th:
Akaya ignore him. He’s a pest. He wants to collect your data. You should defriend him. Genichirou is ignoring me when I said he should defriend Sadaharu, too.
But you can tell him I said to STOP bothering us.
And tell him I said to get a life.
You want to practice later today? ^____^
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:17am on April 6th:
Kirihara Akaya tell Renji to stop ignoring my requests.
A ping, from his email. Not one, but three emails from facebook alerted Inui to his comments:
Kaidoh Kaoru (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:12am on April 6th:
Senpai, can u help that moron and me with practice schedules? He fucked them up again.
Kaidoh Kaoru (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:13am on April 6th:
Sorry, senpai, I meant that idiot screwed them up. Plz help.
-Kaidoh Kaoru
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 10:23am on April 6th:
yanagi senpai says go away. but im not defriending u bcuz I want more facebook friends. ill crush u!!!
Inui stroked his chin. He could feel the one straggly hair slightly bristlier than the rest, growing on the side of his jaw. He should have shaved it, but 39% chance it made him feel older to have it kept the razor away yet another day.
More messages popped up in his email. Inui could feel his stomach flipping with glee. He grabbed an extra two pens from underneath a stale bento from last week, just in case the 43% chance that his current pen ran out of ink before he wrote every bit of data down.
Tezuka Kunimitsu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:32am on April 6th:
Inui, someone told me you are bothering Rikkai again. Is this true? Have you done anything to personally offend them again?
Inui frowned. Tezuka, meddling with his data, yet again. The back of his mind suggested that the likely culprit was Sanada Genichiroh, who was online still (85% chance, unless Rikkai Dai had begun spring practices on Sundays- 0.7% chance).
On Tezuka’s messageboard, Inui quickly typed:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:40am on April 6th:
I don’t know what you are talking about. Are you and Echizen practicing this afternoon?
Tezuka Kunimitsu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:41am on April 6th:
Don’t change the topic, Inui. Are you mocking me?
I am only interested in peace. Stop sowing the seeds of discord.
Yudan sezu ni ikou!
Inui pushed his dirty stack of paper plates off his desk, then reached behind his empty CD for that volume.
Tezuka Kunimitsu: Special Data
Chance of Tezuka “sowing the seeds” [of teenage hormones?] on Echizen? 78%: see April 6th, 10:41am comment on my facebook.
Feeling slightly miffed, Inui took a moment to chew on his words, before he typed out, then retyped after deleting some of his response:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:40am on April 6th:
As much as it pains me, Tezuka, your comments are not appreciated. Please return my Arashi CD tomorrow at school. I want to listen to it.
It hurt, like a jab to his chest, when Inui clicked “remove from friends” on Tezuka’s name. “It’s for your own good,” Inui said. “I’ll re-add you next week when you want that math homework from me.”
However, more pressing issues existed. Like Renji. Inui went back to Kirihara’s messageboard, having gone silent since his last comment there, and wrote:
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 10:55am on April 6th:
You changed your relationship status.
Kirihara was slow to respond, giving Inui enough time to ready his pen and notebook for the high possibility of Kirihara being unable to hold back. But, as the minutes ticked, Inui grew slightly worried that his assumption of Kirihara’s eagerness to divulge information in favour of increasing his status against his senpais was losing its veracity.
Finally-
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:03am on April 6th:
yanagi senpai says stop asking questions like that
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:05am on April 6th:
What does that mean exactly?
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:07am on April 6th:
stfu and go away
ill really crush u
Inui’s heartrate increased again. This petty teenage drama seemed to be affecting him, too. Which in turn, was even more distressing. And with Tezuka being obstinate again, Inui didn’t want to back down. Not that he was prone to acts of pathetic and passive-aggressive acts of revenge like Fuji, but…
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:08am on April 6th:
Is Renji there with you?
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:13am on April 6th:
some1 said that u should keep a tighter filter on whut u say bcuz it’s careless
Inui pushed his glasses up- they had slid all the way to the end of his nose and the computer screen started to shiver. He blinked. Inui knew he should back away from the monitor, and yet, the chance of his body actually doing that was 23%.
Somewhere, outside, a pigeon cooed in the world. Inui could hear the sound through his window, but the curtains were drawn, making his room gloomy and dim, like a cave. A cave for collecting data.
And one that smelled a bit like his old, mouldy gym socks, too.
He thought, Tezuka is talking about me with Kirihara.
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:18am on April 6th:
Tell Tezuka I have nothing to say to him.
Kirihara Akaya (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:21am on April 6th:
he says that ur not getting ur cd back unless u stop annoying people n ruining their reputations with ur data. ur not god
Dammit. Kirihara kept bringing the conversation back around. Inui balled his fists. He was the data master. He would not be manipulated by Rikkai Dai’s Kirihara. Or Tezuka. He manipulated them through his numbers and percentages.
Inui Sadaharu (Tokyo, Japan) wrote at 11:27am on April 6th:
Tell Tezuka that if he doesn’t give it back, I will tell Fuji about his practices with Echizen.
Tell Renji to friend me back!!
Someone knocked on Inui’s door. Through the crack, his mother’s voice said, “Sadaharu, are you online again? If you don’t get off the computer soon, we’ll take away your computer privileges!”
Inui cursed under his breath.
Just as he was backclicking off facebook- and maybe there was a 12% chance he was hoping for some updated newsfeed- he saw:
Kirihara Akaya updated their photoalbum. 11:49am
It was too good not to click.
Inui could hear the flies buzzing in his ears and his jaw hanging open.
There, on the screen, were horrible awful photoshopped images.
The first, a very crudely cute photo of two glistening naked male bodies, with the tacked on heads of one Kirihara Akaya from Rikkai Dai and one Yanagi Renji.
The message below,
Yanagi Renji (Kanagawa, Japan) wrote at 11:51am on April 6th:
Does that answer your question, Sadaharu? ^_^
But it was the second image that made Inui’s head throb, fifteen pulsing beats per minute of agony.
The photoshopping was even worse. The skin tones didn’t match up and Tezuka’s head was 40% too large for the body below. A horrifying combination of breasts and legs open to reveal not a female but a man’s dick, approximately 7 inches long.
Inui could feel hot blood dribbling down from his nose.
Tezuka was going to blame him for this.