(no subject)
i said, "bear with me because
this is where the sentence runs,
and it has strong legs."
he lived in a paint house that once belonged to an old church, where the important keys were verbal and windows were drafty. his bookshelves were filled with photo albums, emptier than the souls of every church goer on sunday morning, waiting for redemption; i liked to believe that they would be explained not by something as simple as forgetfulness, procrastination or lack of organisation, and without glancing my way he would say, "the difference between looking at pictures and taking them is like spending your life making art and spending your life living it." think: tarzan as a siberian monk. every room smelled as if some complicated amalgamation of herbs were being used to ward off evil spirits and cause headaches.
i found myself looking at him after he had moved to new york. think: theatre hound as an indie rockabilly, trying to remain true to their beatnik roots by wearing sharp jackets, smoking weed, and walking with a hip swagger. always some perky hair stylist with colored hair and a harajuku style swinging off his arm, leaving every show fashionably early so that everyone thought he was just so perfectly bored without being insulting. he called me that night, begging to know why i didn't say hello when he passed me, wondering what made his eyes seek the sidewalk while he never listened to what that bitch was saying. she's always talking, he said. phone static. i hear her in the background, asking him where he put the goddamned corkscrew, it should be right here in the fucking drawer, and who are you talking to on the phone, are you listening to me, god. his breath distorts her voice, and i can almost hear him bow his head to his hand, ruffling his hair slightly, before hanging up the phone, and setting a fire.
i got a letter in the mail a few weeks after that, the only things that were in it were five pictures of his flaming house, and on the back of every one, written: i want you to see.
what a fucking lunatic.