Nerf...but Kingdom Hearts II makes me feel better
I was told that I should either leave the comment function on, not be so angsty, or make another post explaining the last one.
So I guess I'll get a couple of them out of the way.
The last post was just me being angsty, it didn't really mean anything. I don't usually vent, so I needed to do so. I am always under a lot of stress and I let it get to me, but I don't give in.
Lately I've been undergoing a lot of stress...
The house...the last couple of weeks I've been taking care of most of the cleaning and expenses of the apartment (which I'm finally out of) I think it might be done (I mean messing with Deerot), I even had to take care of the last three month's water bill because Camo couldn't come up with the funds...I was hardly able to get ahold of him because he doesn't have a phone and there was all sorts of crap that needed to get done at the last minute...it looks like it might not be over because they kept saying stuff in the walkthrough was our fault that wasn't, and speaking spanish really quietly to each other so that I couldn't understand and didn't give me a sheet after the walk through. I still have not actually met the owner of the house...this whole affair has been stressing me the fuck out...
School...Because I've been so darn busy cleaning and taking care of stuff I had to miss a lot of school...and have actually fallen behind on some of my school work...I really don't have much time left for the semester to try and make anything up...I'm really worried about the internet course because we're getting into XML which I kind of skipped altogether when I was learning how to make a website...
The business has come back to bite me in the ass again...It's tax time and I don't know what the heck I'm going to do, it's just a lot of filling in 0's on about 30 pages...but that's not really a big deal...that's more annoyance than stress...
Work is actually my least stressful time of the day...it just flows right on with almost no incident...just lately sells have been down so...so has commission.
Probably what's been eating me up the most is I don't know what the heck I want to do with myself...I don't know if I want to become a police officer anymore and become just another cog in the machine...I know my problem solving skills would be put to good use as a homicide detective, but I don't know if I want my life to be dedicated to perpetuating the system of things...ever since I was little I've been conflicted with wanting to live as a normal person with a normal life, or to actually do something to try and change things...part of me knows that there is little I can do to escape the system...and part of me is fed up with having to deal with the state of the world...but that's nothing new...I just get so damned angsty about the way things are...and the way things are getting that I want to do something drastic...I'm not talking about blowing shit up or killing people...though I was close to being that angsty in the first two years of high school...
I kind of have a plan that might help me feel better or make me feel like I've escaped some level of mediocrity...but that means cutting off all ties for a while...that means giving up a lot of things and leaving some things behind...and that's hard to do...and also something that I can put off until I finish getting my "two year" "degree".
So I guess I'll get a couple of them out of the way.
The last post was just me being angsty, it didn't really mean anything. I don't usually vent, so I needed to do so. I am always under a lot of stress and I let it get to me, but I don't give in.
Lately I've been undergoing a lot of stress...
The house...the last couple of weeks I've been taking care of most of the cleaning and expenses of the apartment (which I'm finally out of) I think it might be done (I mean messing with Deerot), I even had to take care of the last three month's water bill because Camo couldn't come up with the funds...I was hardly able to get ahold of him because he doesn't have a phone and there was all sorts of crap that needed to get done at the last minute...it looks like it might not be over because they kept saying stuff in the walkthrough was our fault that wasn't, and speaking spanish really quietly to each other so that I couldn't understand and didn't give me a sheet after the walk through. I still have not actually met the owner of the house...this whole affair has been stressing me the fuck out...
School...Because I've been so darn busy cleaning and taking care of stuff I had to miss a lot of school...and have actually fallen behind on some of my school work...I really don't have much time left for the semester to try and make anything up...I'm really worried about the internet course because we're getting into XML which I kind of skipped altogether when I was learning how to make a website...
The business has come back to bite me in the ass again...It's tax time and I don't know what the heck I'm going to do, it's just a lot of filling in 0's on about 30 pages...but that's not really a big deal...that's more annoyance than stress...
Work is actually my least stressful time of the day...it just flows right on with almost no incident...just lately sells have been down so...so has commission.
Probably what's been eating me up the most is I don't know what the heck I want to do with myself...I don't know if I want to become a police officer anymore and become just another cog in the machine...I know my problem solving skills would be put to good use as a homicide detective, but I don't know if I want my life to be dedicated to perpetuating the system of things...ever since I was little I've been conflicted with wanting to live as a normal person with a normal life, or to actually do something to try and change things...part of me knows that there is little I can do to escape the system...and part of me is fed up with having to deal with the state of the world...but that's nothing new...I just get so damned angsty about the way things are...and the way things are getting that I want to do something drastic...I'm not talking about blowing shit up or killing people...though I was close to being that angsty in the first two years of high school...
I kind of have a plan that might help me feel better or make me feel like I've escaped some level of mediocrity...but that means cutting off all ties for a while...that means giving up a lot of things and leaving some things behind...and that's hard to do...and also something that I can put off until I finish getting my "two year" "degree".