Welcome to BSU! Ass!
Hello! If you've reached this page you probably have no future goals, no life skills, and are down right ignorant! Worry not my friend, for there is indeed a solution. Here at Bradley Smitts University, 
we take special interest in those who think getting out of bed in the morning should only be for eating, signing for your packages of Anime, and the occasional peek next door to catch a glimpse of the 40-something trailer-trash next door who you can't help but fantasize about. Just look at her standing there in her day old flower printed underwear, washing the Tupperware dishes while still managing to smoke a cigarette and not drop one ash in the sink! Now there's a future wife!
Here at Bradley Smitts University, you can major in a number of different areas:
- Rug Vacuuming
- Graphical Designing and Implementation of Jars
- Flag Burning
- Hatchet Sharpening
- Stress Ball Analysis
- Bird Tasting
- Engineering of Technical Balloons
- Picture Hanging
- Stapler Filling
- Flower Potting
- Or get your degree!
What's that you say? Our student to teacher ratios? Our ethnic diversity here at BS? Here at BS we see no color. That's right! All of our staff and administration are blind! I'm not joking! A baby chimp could more than likely run this administration better then we could. Just don't complain or anything or you're more than likely to end up missing your kidney next semester and find yourself in a tub of ice.
We offer substantial amounts of loans and other forms of financial aid. You'll have to ask Larry, our Chief Financial Officer about all the details. He can also offer you great deal on bail bonds! GIVE US monEYYYYYYYY...I mean...check out your financial options!
The skills you take with you at BS University will stay with you for life!
Mostly because you already knew how to do the things we majored you in. But, now you have a piece of paper that says you do! Look at that! It can hang on a wall!!
Here's some of our student testimonial:
"BSU gave me the boost to get my degree in Burger Ethics. Thanks Brad!" - Emma Ruthers
"You won't believe the extensive and up to date technology BS has to offer! Never have I seen so many Commodore 64s!" -Bill Saxton
"Larry got me outta jail!" - John Parks
Sooner or later you'll see it our way! I have to run, my class on potato skinning just started. I have to keep 94% attendance or they'll slit my throat! Hope to see you soon at Bradley Smitts University!
we take special interest in those who think getting out of bed in the morning should only be for eating, signing for your packages of Anime, and the occasional peek next door to catch a glimpse of the 40-something trailer-trash next door who you can't help but fantasize about. Just look at her standing there in her day old flower printed underwear, washing the Tupperware dishes while still managing to smoke a cigarette and not drop one ash in the sink! Now there's a future wife!
Here at Bradley Smitts University, you can major in a number of different areas:
- Rug Vacuuming
- Graphical Designing and Implementation of Jars
- Flag Burning
- Hatchet Sharpening
- Stress Ball Analysis
- Bird Tasting
- Engineering of Technical Balloons
- Picture Hanging
- Stapler Filling
- Flower Potting
- Or get your degree!
What's that you say? Our student to teacher ratios? Our ethnic diversity here at BS? Here at BS we see no color. That's right! All of our staff and administration are blind! I'm not joking! A baby chimp could more than likely run this administration better then we could. Just don't complain or anything or you're more than likely to end up missing your kidney next semester and find yourself in a tub of ice.
We offer substantial amounts of loans and other forms of financial aid. You'll have to ask Larry, our Chief Financial Officer about all the details. He can also offer you great deal on bail bonds! GIVE US monEYYYYYYYY...I mean...check out your financial options!
The skills you take with you at BS University will stay with you for life!
Mostly because you already knew how to do the things we majored you in. But, now you have a piece of paper that says you do! Look at that! It can hang on a wall!!
Here's some of our student testimonial:
"BSU gave me the boost to get my degree in Burger Ethics. Thanks Brad!" - Emma Ruthers
"You won't believe the extensive and up to date technology BS has to offer! Never have I seen so many Commodore 64s!" -Bill Saxton
"Larry got me outta jail!" - John Parks
Sooner or later you'll see it our way! I have to run, my class on potato skinning just started. I have to keep 94% attendance or they'll slit my throat! Hope to see you soon at Bradley Smitts University!