(no subject)
** The following is a speach that i wrote and read for my sophmore lit and comp class. Its message correlates directly with my journal entry. **
My name is Gregory Frank Anderson, allow me to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m 16 years old and I’m gay; of course, there is much more to me than just that, I have stories to share, feelings to feel, and more levels to me than your average Joe. However, sadly, for most people the road ends there. All they need to know about me is my sexual orientation and they think they have me figured out. Even my best friends took a giant step back when I took my first step forward out of my fabulous Gucci closet. My mother used to say, “Change is the only constant.” When I was little I didn’t listen, I thought that the only constant was unfairness: Bobby got the blue ball at recess; my best friend Nick had a crush on Emily, and not me; and when I lost a friend at school I always got the same word of advice, “Change is the only constant.” While my mother was right, change is a constant; I still hold my ground and say that unfairness is just as persistent. I have always known who I am; even though it took me years to finally say it out loud. Those years taught me about myself, strangers, and life in general. Those years changed me into the person I am today. I hope and I truly believe that it’s a better person, one with the self esteem of a super star, and the ethics of Thurgood Marshal. There has been a lengthy civil war being fought in my head; part of me believes that I have changed since elementary school, while the other half of me concludes that it is everyone else that has changed. I have recently come to the realization that both the rest of the world and I have changed; not in the same way. I truly am a different person than I was in elementary school.
Things were simple in elementary school. People say that ignorance is bliss. Elementary school sure was blissful wasn’t it? This is because I, along with many others was ignorant to the fact that there are many differences among us. I genuinely liked all other kids. I never knew the word prejudges even existed. And I was oblivious to the fact that the world could be so cruel. All I knew was that when recess rolled around I wanted nothing more than to play dodge ball with who ever would play with me, whether they be Black, Asian, or ugly. In elementary school everything was simple. Everyone was your friend; in fact, everyone was your “best friend.” There was a mutual feeling of friendship between all elementary school students because everyone liked each other for what they were, a classmate, a four square partner, a companion. I was never put in the position where I needed to defend myself. Sure there were arguments, but they were about who was next in line at the drinking fountain. They had nothing to do with race, economic status, or sexual orientation. Times have changed since then. So have people. So have I.
Today, in high school, complication is everywhere. No longer is every topic cut and dry. Though it is just as obvious who is right and who is wrong, that doesn’t matter anymore, what matters now is who is more popular, or who is stronger, or who has more friends. People are still ignorant but it is no longer a bliss. Ignorance is now bad. Ignorance is the coal that burns within each hateful person that judges others because they are too scared to judge themselves. As for me, I am a stronger person than I was in elementary school because of what has happened in my life. Many things have happened that most would consider haunting, but I consider a blessing. People throw countless amounts of change at me in the hall, they call me a fag at least once a day, I have had a half full coke bottle thrown at my head, I have been punched in the face while being called a faggot, and someone even called me at 2:45 in the morning calling me “Greg takes it up the ass Anderson.” I do give them credit for being original. How many people were that cruel in elementary school? What has changed? What happened to wanting to be my friend whether I was Black, Asian, or ugly? We have been taught to be cruel, and mean, and relentless. No where in a text book does it say that the protocol for passing an oriental person in the hall is to scream, “chink.” We learn that from others, whether it be our parents who teach us to be intolerant, or our friends, or the media, we learn it. Where the problem arises is when it comes time to unlearn it. I have caught myself laughing and sometimes telling a racial joke, stopped myself in the middle of stereotyping. My challenge to others is to do the same, stop yourself before you hurt someone. As for me, I have learned many things throughout my journey from elementary, to middle, to high school. Among the most important thing is how to cope. The stares I get on the street, the whispers in the hall, the kid who yells faggot in the parking lot; they are all pushups for the brain, crunches for the soul, and barbells for the emotion. They are all promoting strength, security, and stability. They are all getting me to the point where I have the muscle and the might to carry the world on my shoulders and knock down whatever life puts in my way. The only difference between me in elementary school and me now, is knowledge; but what a difference it is.
With time everyone changes. Whether they change for better or for worse, no one stays the same. We learn, we grow, we hurt, we laugh, and we change. Count on it, because like my mother always said, “change is the only constant.” Not prejudges, not hate, not hurt; because hopefully all of those things will fade as we grow stronger. The immense changes that I have undergone physically, mentally, and emotionally are satisfying. I am happy with who I am and who I was; and I am excited for who I will be. I hope that I can write an essay similar to this one in two years and have something to compare and contrast. I’m sure that wont be a problem because I can count on my familiar friend; change.
I wrote that a year ago. But wow, looking at it now, i was pretty wize. I was certianly right. We were much different people in elementary school. I for one remember loving story time. Story time was my favorite time of the day. ::greg admits:: Story time, although much less frequent, still stands (even at my age now) as a pretty damn good time! So kick back, and enjoy my story time.
Note: The following is a true story that happened to an innocent boi named Gregory Anderson.
Greg has had a crush. Greg has had a crush for a few months. This crush was nothing out of the ordinary, just someone that he has admired from a distance. This crush had a name - Peter. ::Greg stops talking in the third person:: Peter is totally straight. (Note: I never said this was a happy story) Peter being straight cured me of any guilt I might have been feeling about stalking someone while I had a boyfriend. Now, I said stalking, this might seem a little harsh, a little dramatic, but trust me its not. I would follow Peter in the halls, obsess about him w/ his friends, and hyperventilate when we made eye contact. (Smooth Greg, smooth) To drive my point home, let me tell you a story with in a story.
**mini story starts** One day I was in the sub line at school. This is when good ol’ Peter walks by. I was standing with Holly and basking in his beauty when I realized he walking away from me. I wasn’t finished looking at him, so with out thinking, I uncontrollably YELLED HIS NAME! “Peter!” I yelled. I realized my audacity and FREEKED out. Instead of playing it cool, and pretending to be grabbing the attention of another peter, I decided it would be best if I DUCKED BEHIND HOLLY! (note: Holly weighs about 110lbs) Peter obviously heard me because he stopped walking and turned around only to see me peering around Holly’s ass. He looked at me, and cocked his head. He clearly knew that I was the one who shouted his name. Instead of laughing, or saying hi to me, Peter then turned back around and proceeded to continue walking down the hall. **mini story ends**
Hopefully it is clear now that I really was obsessed with this kid. Lissette gave me Peters screen name and so I decided it would be a GENIOUS idea to IM this kid. I started innocent saying, “I hope its not too audacious of me to be IM-ing you but I’ve seen you around and you look like someone who would be cool to talk to.” Long story short, I came up with this plan to hook him up with Alicia. Alicia is my best friend (see cast list in previous entry) and gladly agreed to help me meet this kid. (Even if it was under a false pretext) I had no idea what my goal was but needless to say she gladly agreed to my idea of bringing him food at school on Wednesday. So we brought McDonalds to school’s C lunch. After wasting half the lunch dodging administration and nervously bumbling around his table we decided to go in for the kill. We walk up to peter and as we do so he sees us coming and puts his head down. (GREAT!) We walk up to him and I politely say, “Peter, this is Alicia” he looks up at Alicia who is sicker than shit (note: she went to the hospital that night) and holding a toilet paper role! She gets out the words, “we brought you lunch” and hands over the burger and fries. “I DON’T WANT IT, I WONT eat it!” Peter says. Being caught off guard Alicia and I RUN AWAY!! This concludes the story of the most embarrassing moment of my life! Wow my fingers hurt - I just wrote a novel! ::Greg leaves computer laughing at what a dumb ass he is::
My name is Gregory Frank Anderson, allow me to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m 16 years old and I’m gay; of course, there is much more to me than just that, I have stories to share, feelings to feel, and more levels to me than your average Joe. However, sadly, for most people the road ends there. All they need to know about me is my sexual orientation and they think they have me figured out. Even my best friends took a giant step back when I took my first step forward out of my fabulous Gucci closet. My mother used to say, “Change is the only constant.” When I was little I didn’t listen, I thought that the only constant was unfairness: Bobby got the blue ball at recess; my best friend Nick had a crush on Emily, and not me; and when I lost a friend at school I always got the same word of advice, “Change is the only constant.” While my mother was right, change is a constant; I still hold my ground and say that unfairness is just as persistent. I have always known who I am; even though it took me years to finally say it out loud. Those years taught me about myself, strangers, and life in general. Those years changed me into the person I am today. I hope and I truly believe that it’s a better person, one with the self esteem of a super star, and the ethics of Thurgood Marshal. There has been a lengthy civil war being fought in my head; part of me believes that I have changed since elementary school, while the other half of me concludes that it is everyone else that has changed. I have recently come to the realization that both the rest of the world and I have changed; not in the same way. I truly am a different person than I was in elementary school.
Things were simple in elementary school. People say that ignorance is bliss. Elementary school sure was blissful wasn’t it? This is because I, along with many others was ignorant to the fact that there are many differences among us. I genuinely liked all other kids. I never knew the word prejudges even existed. And I was oblivious to the fact that the world could be so cruel. All I knew was that when recess rolled around I wanted nothing more than to play dodge ball with who ever would play with me, whether they be Black, Asian, or ugly. In elementary school everything was simple. Everyone was your friend; in fact, everyone was your “best friend.” There was a mutual feeling of friendship between all elementary school students because everyone liked each other for what they were, a classmate, a four square partner, a companion. I was never put in the position where I needed to defend myself. Sure there were arguments, but they were about who was next in line at the drinking fountain. They had nothing to do with race, economic status, or sexual orientation. Times have changed since then. So have people. So have I.
Today, in high school, complication is everywhere. No longer is every topic cut and dry. Though it is just as obvious who is right and who is wrong, that doesn’t matter anymore, what matters now is who is more popular, or who is stronger, or who has more friends. People are still ignorant but it is no longer a bliss. Ignorance is now bad. Ignorance is the coal that burns within each hateful person that judges others because they are too scared to judge themselves. As for me, I am a stronger person than I was in elementary school because of what has happened in my life. Many things have happened that most would consider haunting, but I consider a blessing. People throw countless amounts of change at me in the hall, they call me a fag at least once a day, I have had a half full coke bottle thrown at my head, I have been punched in the face while being called a faggot, and someone even called me at 2:45 in the morning calling me “Greg takes it up the ass Anderson.” I do give them credit for being original. How many people were that cruel in elementary school? What has changed? What happened to wanting to be my friend whether I was Black, Asian, or ugly? We have been taught to be cruel, and mean, and relentless. No where in a text book does it say that the protocol for passing an oriental person in the hall is to scream, “chink.” We learn that from others, whether it be our parents who teach us to be intolerant, or our friends, or the media, we learn it. Where the problem arises is when it comes time to unlearn it. I have caught myself laughing and sometimes telling a racial joke, stopped myself in the middle of stereotyping. My challenge to others is to do the same, stop yourself before you hurt someone. As for me, I have learned many things throughout my journey from elementary, to middle, to high school. Among the most important thing is how to cope. The stares I get on the street, the whispers in the hall, the kid who yells faggot in the parking lot; they are all pushups for the brain, crunches for the soul, and barbells for the emotion. They are all promoting strength, security, and stability. They are all getting me to the point where I have the muscle and the might to carry the world on my shoulders and knock down whatever life puts in my way. The only difference between me in elementary school and me now, is knowledge; but what a difference it is.
With time everyone changes. Whether they change for better or for worse, no one stays the same. We learn, we grow, we hurt, we laugh, and we change. Count on it, because like my mother always said, “change is the only constant.” Not prejudges, not hate, not hurt; because hopefully all of those things will fade as we grow stronger. The immense changes that I have undergone physically, mentally, and emotionally are satisfying. I am happy with who I am and who I was; and I am excited for who I will be. I hope that I can write an essay similar to this one in two years and have something to compare and contrast. I’m sure that wont be a problem because I can count on my familiar friend; change.
I wrote that a year ago. But wow, looking at it now, i was pretty wize. I was certianly right. We were much different people in elementary school. I for one remember loving story time. Story time was my favorite time of the day. ::greg admits:: Story time, although much less frequent, still stands (even at my age now) as a pretty damn good time! So kick back, and enjoy my story time.
Note: The following is a true story that happened to an innocent boi named Gregory Anderson.
Greg has had a crush. Greg has had a crush for a few months. This crush was nothing out of the ordinary, just someone that he has admired from a distance. This crush had a name - Peter. ::Greg stops talking in the third person:: Peter is totally straight. (Note: I never said this was a happy story) Peter being straight cured me of any guilt I might have been feeling about stalking someone while I had a boyfriend. Now, I said stalking, this might seem a little harsh, a little dramatic, but trust me its not. I would follow Peter in the halls, obsess about him w/ his friends, and hyperventilate when we made eye contact. (Smooth Greg, smooth) To drive my point home, let me tell you a story with in a story.
**mini story starts** One day I was in the sub line at school. This is when good ol’ Peter walks by. I was standing with Holly and basking in his beauty when I realized he walking away from me. I wasn’t finished looking at him, so with out thinking, I uncontrollably YELLED HIS NAME! “Peter!” I yelled. I realized my audacity and FREEKED out. Instead of playing it cool, and pretending to be grabbing the attention of another peter, I decided it would be best if I DUCKED BEHIND HOLLY! (note: Holly weighs about 110lbs) Peter obviously heard me because he stopped walking and turned around only to see me peering around Holly’s ass. He looked at me, and cocked his head. He clearly knew that I was the one who shouted his name. Instead of laughing, or saying hi to me, Peter then turned back around and proceeded to continue walking down the hall. **mini story ends**
Hopefully it is clear now that I really was obsessed with this kid. Lissette gave me Peters screen name and so I decided it would be a GENIOUS idea to IM this kid. I started innocent saying, “I hope its not too audacious of me to be IM-ing you but I’ve seen you around and you look like someone who would be cool to talk to.” Long story short, I came up with this plan to hook him up with Alicia. Alicia is my best friend (see cast list in previous entry) and gladly agreed to help me meet this kid. (Even if it was under a false pretext) I had no idea what my goal was but needless to say she gladly agreed to my idea of bringing him food at school on Wednesday. So we brought McDonalds to school’s C lunch. After wasting half the lunch dodging administration and nervously bumbling around his table we decided to go in for the kill. We walk up to peter and as we do so he sees us coming and puts his head down. (GREAT!) We walk up to him and I politely say, “Peter, this is Alicia” he looks up at Alicia who is sicker than shit (note: she went to the hospital that night) and holding a toilet paper role! She gets out the words, “we brought you lunch” and hands over the burger and fries. “I DON’T WANT IT, I WONT eat it!” Peter says. Being caught off guard Alicia and I RUN AWAY!! This concludes the story of the most embarrassing moment of my life! Wow my fingers hurt - I just wrote a novel! ::Greg leaves computer laughing at what a dumb ass he is::