(Untitled)

[gildedmuse]

Title: A Night of Boheme
Author: Stephanie
Written for: tolavieboheme
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Uh, general. Not angst and not fluff. In the middle.
Summary: Mark isn't enjoying this opera too much, but the kid next to him seems interesting enough. Mark/Roger, Maureen/Benny.
Disclaimer: Yeah. Not Jon.

Comments

[tolavieboheme]

Yeah, when I saw you had gotten my challenge, my eyebrows kind of went straight up.

I liked it a lot. It followed my rules without being predictable. Also, I very much like the concept of Roger willingly going to an opera.

[allfireburns]

*Giggles* When I saw you first posted this, I squeaked at Roger over the Maureen/Benny note in the header. Granted, I was drunk at the time, but the excited squeak still stands.

...anything they’re teachers force them to do.
Their. And from this point on, for the record, you can feel free to ignore any grammar/spelling corrections I make, if you like. But I will still be making them, simply because I can't stop myself. But I'll put those at the end, and my actual story-related comments above those.

She heard him, just great and - God, look at that cleavage. No, don’t look. Mark’s eyes jump up to her face quickly.
That made me stifle a laugh to avoid waking my roommate.

I love Benny being Mark's best friend before Roger. That doesn't happen often enough in fics, and it should.

That is the fuck the rest of the world, we might as well be alone cuddle. He’d seen them in it a whole lot.
That phrasing makes me smile. As does the Benny/Maureen in general. *Beams*

It’s like a threesome, only he doesn’t get to watch or participate or

[allfireburns]

SPELLING/GRAMMAR-RELATED RAMBLES BELOW
...staying in line and holding other’s hands.
others'

"...the time period that this,” she waves towards the curtain on the stage. “Was created..."
Comma after stage, lowercase W on was. Also, A Clockwork Orange should be italicized.

...then he’s definitely hit him.
he'd

“Hey…” She looks over Benny’s chest. “Where’d Mark go.”
Question mark?

...what her big obsession with mark is, anyway, expect that he has a camera
...I'm fairly sure that Mark should be capitalized. ^^ Also, except. Not expect.

Maureen really needs to get her mind off him, and to help out Benny leans in...
I'm not sure what happened there, but two sentences got run together somehow. *Blink*

As is, she just turns a couple of hear...
A couple of hear?

...is on some grudge bathroom floor with a guy he barely knows...
Grungy, maybe?

“Ewe!” Mark says, making a face as he jerks back.
*Giggles* I think you meant ew. Or eww. Unless you really want Mark randomly shouting about sheep...

"For a opera” Benny adds quickly.Should be