(no subject)
Why can't I just be mad at you? why can't I just hate you? I can't! The love I have is keeping me from the sadness... and hate.... I guess I will just have to deal with it! I guess we will just have to be friends... Im ok with it... for now... sure I might flip out... but give me time! dont worry... I shouldnt kill myself.... Im not weak enough to do that! I have a life I have to take care of... I have other people that have hope for me... if you dont... its ok... Others still love me... and hope that I can get threw this... so I have to... Jason will help me! He's still here for me! He helped me last time! *teeth chattering and body shakeing again* I hate this! RAWR!!!! but yeah... Im ok.... Im always ok!
*A sweet, calm smile rests on my face,
But if you stare into my eyes,
Storm clouds billow and churn,
Tears glaze like rainy day skies.
I haven't seen the sun
Since I don't know when,
A misty gray shroud
Blocks and clouds my vision.
My life's been taken over
By a sadistic grandfather clock.
Time haunts and taunts me,
There's no way to keep up.
But if you ask me how I've been,
Invariably I'll look up and grin;
For what more is there to say
Besides, "Oh, I'm OK."
*All I need is a hug, a pat on the back.
But you concentrate on the abilities I lack.
All the lies that I told, you thought I was happy,
But I was really feeling sick, and crappy.
I put that fake smile back on my face.
And by the time you'll notice
I've lost all my grace.
*I wear the mask that fibs and smiles.
It hides my true feelings, so
Nobody will know me.
With my aching heart, I smile as if nothing
Is wrong.
I wear the mask.
Why should the world be over wise?
It never sees my tears or hears my cries.
Let them see my eyes and
Understand my hurt.
I wear the mask that hides who I am.
And people will never see my pain,
But yet I keep going on as if
Someday somebody will save me.
*It's a perfect family,
Mother, father, son, and daughter.
And I don't belong so why do I bother?
I can't take my life because that's a sin.
But the truth is, I want it all to end.
I don't want to live,
I don't want to breathe,
I don't want to hear what you have to say to me,
I don't want to smile,
I don't want to cry,
I don't want to know how unhappy I am.
I'll put on my fake smile
So you will never know how unhappy I am.
I'll try not to let it show.
Woot for poetry!