Inner Thoughts on Love and Sadness
I am a little sad right now...
It has been since january since i had an actual relationship....it went all to hell and we all know how that went....text messages ended up being posted on Lj showing the world how i was unfaithful to a one mr. jeremy dineen. I'm so sorry if you ever read this. Then i pursued things with the one i had wanted for so long....it didn't work out....lo and behold! huzzah! big surprise. However that fizzled out 'round late may/june....and here i am solo.
Due to recent events i have become disheartened and kind of synnical on the topics of love and happiness. Point blank, i feel i'll never know love. I find that...its hard to meet people....people that i want to pursue relationships with. And...when i do meet someone....rarely as it is...i think i "crush" on them....and hope that they feel the same blahg blah blah...but it turned out differently than i had expected when a third party entered the whole ordeal. A friend of mine, turns out, has won the affections of the boy in question.
Now i'm sitting here after i just found out about the night i had missed....the...tongue fest which had occured. I feel....sad....left out? no...i feel sad because it wasnt me, that i wasnt the one chosen....because i don't care for this boy, i barely know him, but why do i find myself obsessing over it? I know my sadness is coming from a purely shallow place. Its not all about me, and i know this...but i still feel...alone and like i'll never find anyone....
I don't think i've ever written something like this before....
Goodnight.
It has been since january since i had an actual relationship....it went all to hell and we all know how that went....text messages ended up being posted on Lj showing the world how i was unfaithful to a one mr. jeremy dineen. I'm so sorry if you ever read this. Then i pursued things with the one i had wanted for so long....it didn't work out....lo and behold! huzzah! big surprise. However that fizzled out 'round late may/june....and here i am solo.
Due to recent events i have become disheartened and kind of synnical on the topics of love and happiness. Point blank, i feel i'll never know love. I find that...its hard to meet people....people that i want to pursue relationships with. And...when i do meet someone....rarely as it is...i think i "crush" on them....and hope that they feel the same blahg blah blah...but it turned out differently than i had expected when a third party entered the whole ordeal. A friend of mine, turns out, has won the affections of the boy in question.
Now i'm sitting here after i just found out about the night i had missed....the...tongue fest which had occured. I feel....sad....left out? no...i feel sad because it wasnt me, that i wasnt the one chosen....because i don't care for this boy, i barely know him, but why do i find myself obsessing over it? I know my sadness is coming from a purely shallow place. Its not all about me, and i know this...but i still feel...alone and like i'll never find anyone....
I don't think i've ever written something like this before....
Goodnight.