Only Good (Saji)
Index/Timeline
He was just walking home when it happened; not even late, because he was going to meet up with Setsuna so they (and Exia) could go out to eat somewhere, probably that place Setsuna liked that served a lot of meat-on-a-stick.
He had tried to invite Klaus along, because he felt a little guilty, but Klaus had just kissed him and told him to go enjoy his 'family time'.
And then there just happened to be that stretch of road that was never very busy, and a big black van pulled up and Saji did try to use his taser, really, it's just that it turned out that one of the men had a gun.
After that, he was very very good. One man took his taser, and his phone, and then they drove around and-- talked. About the things that happened to bad boys who told tales and inconvenienced important people like Homer Katagiri. Especially ones who talked about things they shouldn't to the cops they were fucking.
Saji didn't dare correct them, even though it seemed wrong to talk about Klaus like that, like he was just someone Saji had sex with. He promised, over and over again, that he wouldn't tell, and eventually they seemed to believe him.
They should. Saji was telling the truth. He didn't want people to know.
They kept the taser and the phone. Saji figured he was not that far from Klaus', if he took the bus from here. Klaus wouldn't be home yet.
Saji could still make it. He could take the clothes off and wash them and then take a shower and then say somebody had stolen his phone-- no, then Klaus would want him to file some sort of report, probably. He'd say he'd lost it, dropped it somewhere and it broke or fell in a well or something.
And then maybe if he washed his face and called Setsuna from Klaus' place and explained-- he might be able to lie to Setsuna, if it was over the phone. Say he wasn't feeling well, or something.
And then if he made sure that by the time Klaus got home it didn't look like he'd been crying.
If he did all that, he thought, then nobody had to know. That this had happened, about anything.
That's what Saji meant to happen. He got to Klaus' okay, and he put his clothes in the washer and he got in the shower and he tried to get clean, as clean as he could. He likes Klaus' shower. It's always clean, and it's a safe place. Only good memories.
Even so, he can't stop crying. That's bad, because if his eyes are still all red and Klaus sees him he'll know something happened. He turns the water off, so that there will be hot water if Klaus wants a shower when he gets home, and presses himself into the smallest space possible in the corner of the shower.
Somehow, it feels safer like that. Cold, but safe.
He doesn't actually think he's there for very long before Klaus finds him. He thinks the towel is actually Klaus' towel, because it's blue and Saji only uses the green ones. Klaus is very warm, his hands are warm, holding Saji close and when Saji says all his things are in the wash he gives Saji one of his shirts to wear.
Saji supposes he does actually have spare clothes here; his things are slowly sort of unintentionally accumulating in Klaus' apartment and things of Klaus' keep turning up in Saji's room. He's given up trying to give them back, unless Klaus specifically asks, and just puts them in the Klaus section of his dresser for future use.
He hopes this doesn't mean that Klaus is going to find Saji some proper clothes and ask for his shirt back. Right now, Saji would rather have the the shirt. Klaus' shirt, Klaus' bed, Klaus' pillows piled around him, and Klaus cuddling him.
It's wonderful, up until the point where Klaus says he's going to call Halle. Because Halle will try and find the people who did this and probably do terrible things to their intestines and if he does that then something bad could happen.
Saji doesn't want bad things to happen. He just wants to live quietly with Setsuna and Klaus and all the rest of his family. Maybe Klaus and him could get a puppy.
Klaus calls Setsuna instead, who will just look at Saji like he's thinking about doing terrible things to people's intestines and not actually do them because he understands that Saji doesn't want him to. When he does, Saji remembers that he never did call Setsuna to say he wouldn't be coming. He hopes he's not mad. Well, not mad with Saji, anyway.
He squirms closer to Klaus in the meantime, only half hopeful. Klaus doesn't usually want sex when Saji is crying, has been crying, or is about to cry, but he lets Saji press up against him and get comfortable, where comfortable is sort of wriggling against Klaus' thigh in case Klaus changes his mind.
He doesn't, but he does kiss Saji, over and over again until Setsuna comes in and Klaus sort of-- stops, for a moment. Saji doesn't want to move away from either of them, but he moves closer to Klaus because Klaus is more likely to--
Well, Setsuna will just follow if Saji moves closer to Klaus, so it's okay that way. It's a little like a dream Saji sometimes has, and a lot like the sort of situations he thinks about when he masturbates. Setsuna, and Klaus, and Saji between them.
And not just that. Their hands, too; Klaus' hand on his cock. Setsuna's hand on his neck, so gentle and Saji closes his eyes because he doesn't want to see anything, doesn't need to do anything but just feel this. He says Klaus' name, or tries to, because he wants to explain what he needs but doing that makes Klaus' hand tighten on him and he can't think of any other words.
Just this. Just always. Please.
He almost wonders why Klaus isn't talking like he normally would when Klaus' lips brush his cheek and he says "I love you."
Setsuna's hands don't leave Saji's throat until after the orgasm.
◊
Saji doesn't want Klaus to go, but doesn't want him to hear, either.
It's only for a little while, he thinks, and looks at Setsuna.
Setsuna just looks at him, and strokes his shoulder lightly, until Saji gives in. "Homer."
"Ah," Setsuna says, and Saji thinks he understands. There are things you can't fight. There are people you can't fight against. Saji doesn't want revenge or justice or any of those things; he just doesn't want to have to face the past ever again.
He doesn't know what Setsuna wants, but he thinks it's probably something different. At least Setsuna can explain what Saji wants to Halle, probably better than Saji can.
And then it's Setsuna who goes, to talk to Halle, and Klaus who stays. Klaus who makes guesses, Klaus who knows things and says he loves Saji anyway. Klaus who says he doesn't have to talk about it, so Saji doesn't.
Halle doesn't ask any questions; Setsuna must have told him. Or he doesn't because Klaus is there. Saji doesn't care about the reason; Saji just wants to snuggle with Setsuna and Klaus and then make them pizza.
While Saji is making the pizza, he hears Klaus say to Setsuna. "You might as well stay the night," like he doesn't mind either way.
And Setsuna replies "Sure," like he doesn't care whether Klaus extends the invitation or not.
Saji thinks of sleeping through the night with Klaus on one side and Setsuna on the other, and decides to cut all the pepperoni into heart shapes.
He was just walking home when it happened; not even late, because he was going to meet up with Setsuna so they (and Exia) could go out to eat somewhere, probably that place Setsuna liked that served a lot of meat-on-a-stick.
He had tried to invite Klaus along, because he felt a little guilty, but Klaus had just kissed him and told him to go enjoy his 'family time'.
And then there just happened to be that stretch of road that was never very busy, and a big black van pulled up and Saji did try to use his taser, really, it's just that it turned out that one of the men had a gun.
After that, he was very very good. One man took his taser, and his phone, and then they drove around and-- talked. About the things that happened to bad boys who told tales and inconvenienced important people like Homer Katagiri. Especially ones who talked about things they shouldn't to the cops they were fucking.
Saji didn't dare correct them, even though it seemed wrong to talk about Klaus like that, like he was just someone Saji had sex with. He promised, over and over again, that he wouldn't tell, and eventually they seemed to believe him.
They should. Saji was telling the truth. He didn't want people to know.
They kept the taser and the phone. Saji figured he was not that far from Klaus', if he took the bus from here. Klaus wouldn't be home yet.
Saji could still make it. He could take the clothes off and wash them and then take a shower and then say somebody had stolen his phone-- no, then Klaus would want him to file some sort of report, probably. He'd say he'd lost it, dropped it somewhere and it broke or fell in a well or something.
And then maybe if he washed his face and called Setsuna from Klaus' place and explained-- he might be able to lie to Setsuna, if it was over the phone. Say he wasn't feeling well, or something.
And then if he made sure that by the time Klaus got home it didn't look like he'd been crying.
If he did all that, he thought, then nobody had to know. That this had happened, about anything.
That's what Saji meant to happen. He got to Klaus' okay, and he put his clothes in the washer and he got in the shower and he tried to get clean, as clean as he could. He likes Klaus' shower. It's always clean, and it's a safe place. Only good memories.
Even so, he can't stop crying. That's bad, because if his eyes are still all red and Klaus sees him he'll know something happened. He turns the water off, so that there will be hot water if Klaus wants a shower when he gets home, and presses himself into the smallest space possible in the corner of the shower.
Somehow, it feels safer like that. Cold, but safe.
He doesn't actually think he's there for very long before Klaus finds him. He thinks the towel is actually Klaus' towel, because it's blue and Saji only uses the green ones. Klaus is very warm, his hands are warm, holding Saji close and when Saji says all his things are in the wash he gives Saji one of his shirts to wear.
Saji supposes he does actually have spare clothes here; his things are slowly sort of unintentionally accumulating in Klaus' apartment and things of Klaus' keep turning up in Saji's room. He's given up trying to give them back, unless Klaus specifically asks, and just puts them in the Klaus section of his dresser for future use.
He hopes this doesn't mean that Klaus is going to find Saji some proper clothes and ask for his shirt back. Right now, Saji would rather have the the shirt. Klaus' shirt, Klaus' bed, Klaus' pillows piled around him, and Klaus cuddling him.
It's wonderful, up until the point where Klaus says he's going to call Halle. Because Halle will try and find the people who did this and probably do terrible things to their intestines and if he does that then something bad could happen.
Saji doesn't want bad things to happen. He just wants to live quietly with Setsuna and Klaus and all the rest of his family. Maybe Klaus and him could get a puppy.
Klaus calls Setsuna instead, who will just look at Saji like he's thinking about doing terrible things to people's intestines and not actually do them because he understands that Saji doesn't want him to. When he does, Saji remembers that he never did call Setsuna to say he wouldn't be coming. He hopes he's not mad. Well, not mad with Saji, anyway.
He squirms closer to Klaus in the meantime, only half hopeful. Klaus doesn't usually want sex when Saji is crying, has been crying, or is about to cry, but he lets Saji press up against him and get comfortable, where comfortable is sort of wriggling against Klaus' thigh in case Klaus changes his mind.
He doesn't, but he does kiss Saji, over and over again until Setsuna comes in and Klaus sort of-- stops, for a moment. Saji doesn't want to move away from either of them, but he moves closer to Klaus because Klaus is more likely to--
Well, Setsuna will just follow if Saji moves closer to Klaus, so it's okay that way. It's a little like a dream Saji sometimes has, and a lot like the sort of situations he thinks about when he masturbates. Setsuna, and Klaus, and Saji between them.
And not just that. Their hands, too; Klaus' hand on his cock. Setsuna's hand on his neck, so gentle and Saji closes his eyes because he doesn't want to see anything, doesn't need to do anything but just feel this. He says Klaus' name, or tries to, because he wants to explain what he needs but doing that makes Klaus' hand tighten on him and he can't think of any other words.
Just this. Just always. Please.
He almost wonders why Klaus isn't talking like he normally would when Klaus' lips brush his cheek and he says "I love you."
Setsuna's hands don't leave Saji's throat until after the orgasm.
◊
Saji doesn't want Klaus to go, but doesn't want him to hear, either.
It's only for a little while, he thinks, and looks at Setsuna.
Setsuna just looks at him, and strokes his shoulder lightly, until Saji gives in. "Homer."
"Ah," Setsuna says, and Saji thinks he understands. There are things you can't fight. There are people you can't fight against. Saji doesn't want revenge or justice or any of those things; he just doesn't want to have to face the past ever again.
He doesn't know what Setsuna wants, but he thinks it's probably something different. At least Setsuna can explain what Saji wants to Halle, probably better than Saji can.
And then it's Setsuna who goes, to talk to Halle, and Klaus who stays. Klaus who makes guesses, Klaus who knows things and says he loves Saji anyway. Klaus who says he doesn't have to talk about it, so Saji doesn't.
Halle doesn't ask any questions; Setsuna must have told him. Or he doesn't because Klaus is there. Saji doesn't care about the reason; Saji just wants to snuggle with Setsuna and Klaus and then make them pizza.
While Saji is making the pizza, he hears Klaus say to Setsuna. "You might as well stay the night," like he doesn't mind either way.
And Setsuna replies "Sure," like he doesn't care whether Klaus extends the invitation or not.
Saji thinks of sleeping through the night with Klaus on one side and Setsuna on the other, and decides to cut all the pepperoni into heart shapes.