In which I actually socialize with REAL PEOPLE and stuff
So, I've been on this socializing/meet new people list pretty much since I arrived in the area. Every two weeks or so they have a get together for Wednesday Cocktails at whichever local bar or winery that looks appealing, and every time so far I've read the invite, gone "Eh, don't wanna. Too tired/I don't drink/I don't want to drive that far. Maybe next time" and proceeded to do my antisocial (except online!) thing instead.
Last night, I finally decided "You know, stop making excuses and just *go* already!" So I did. I refused to dress up beyond switching from my work pants into a pair of blue jeans, and because my face is kinda broken out and stuff, I did put on a little makeup (mascara and a tad of eyeliner, as well as some mineral powder because I can't help it, I like sparkly things; also, it is the only powder makeup I have and it covers the worst of my acne significantly better than the liquid concealer stuff I would use otherwise). Then I grabbed my wallet and cell phone, and off I went.
This time around, the meeting place was one of the local wineries not too far from the house (about a 5 minute drive). Not somewhere I would go on my own considering I don't drink wine, but supposedly this time around there was going to be live music, which was pretty much what convinced me to go anyway. The "live music" turned out to be a single guy with an acoustic guitar playing in a very cramped room at the back of of the winery, which wasn't that big in the first place and was not at all set up for large groups. So, myself and twelve or so other people - most of whom already knew each other, though there were one or two other 'newbies' like myself - sat around a bunch of old wine barrels (their version of tables) in one corner of the room trying to talk over the guy with an acoustic guitar doing his singing thing in the opposite corner that was only maybe 10-15 feet away, so he really didn't *need* speakers and amplifiers, but that didn't stop him from having them, by golly!
The whole thing was... interesting, I suppose, though I wouldn't call it "fun", at least not for me. It was almost like speed dating, only without the time limit. You would either approach someone else and do the introduction thing, or someone else would approach you and do the same. You'd sit and talk for a bit - what do you do, how long have you lived here, where did you move from, etc - and when you ran out of stuff to say, you sat awkwardly until someone went to get another drink, signaling the freedom to go find someone else to talk to. Lather, rinse, repeat until you've made your way through most of the group.
On the one hand, yes, it is a good way to meet new people. On the other hand, meeting people you actually have stuff in *common* with is kind of the luck of the draw. The whole group online consists of a more than three hundred people; the gatherings tend to have maybe a dozen attendees, maybe a few more or less depending on the location, I'm sure. Assuming the group is full of people like me who always find an excuse to *not* go, the people who do go are therefore probably the most outgoing types, and a good chunk of them already know each other, making it kinda awkward for the more shy types like me (I know, it is hard to believe - once you get to know me, I'm extremely shameless and easy-going; initial meetings, however, I tend to be sitting in the background going "OMG, NEW PEOPLE! Carry on folks, nothing to see here, just a lumpy bit of wallpaper that is totally unnoticeable" and never draw any attention to myself) to break into their cliques. While I'm sure there are a ton of fellow geeks on the list I would have a lot in common with and could jabber the night away with, easy, I'm just as sure those people have the same issue I do with actually socializing IN REAL LIFE, OMG! and are content to hide out on the safety of the internet, getting the invites and promptly ignoring them in favor of some D&D or the Star Wars Marathon on Spike TV.
So, yeah, it was interesting, but I don't think I'm going to go again any time soon. On the bright side, though, I'm pretty sure the guy doing the guitar thing was checking me out, and one of the cute guys who was also in the group - though he wasn't a newbie like me, he'd actually been in it for quite some time - did the "approach, talk until we run out of stuff to say, move on" thing two or three times with me, so that was kinda nice. Alas, despite the multiple approaches and the plesant conversation, we still didn't have much in common, so no exchange of email addresses or phone numbers was had.
Last night, I finally decided "You know, stop making excuses and just *go* already!" So I did. I refused to dress up beyond switching from my work pants into a pair of blue jeans, and because my face is kinda broken out and stuff, I did put on a little makeup (mascara and a tad of eyeliner, as well as some mineral powder because I can't help it, I like sparkly things; also, it is the only powder makeup I have and it covers the worst of my acne significantly better than the liquid concealer stuff I would use otherwise). Then I grabbed my wallet and cell phone, and off I went.
This time around, the meeting place was one of the local wineries not too far from the house (about a 5 minute drive). Not somewhere I would go on my own considering I don't drink wine, but supposedly this time around there was going to be live music, which was pretty much what convinced me to go anyway. The "live music" turned out to be a single guy with an acoustic guitar playing in a very cramped room at the back of of the winery, which wasn't that big in the first place and was not at all set up for large groups. So, myself and twelve or so other people - most of whom already knew each other, though there were one or two other 'newbies' like myself - sat around a bunch of old wine barrels (their version of tables) in one corner of the room trying to talk over the guy with an acoustic guitar doing his singing thing in the opposite corner that was only maybe 10-15 feet away, so he really didn't *need* speakers and amplifiers, but that didn't stop him from having them, by golly!
The whole thing was... interesting, I suppose, though I wouldn't call it "fun", at least not for me. It was almost like speed dating, only without the time limit. You would either approach someone else and do the introduction thing, or someone else would approach you and do the same. You'd sit and talk for a bit - what do you do, how long have you lived here, where did you move from, etc - and when you ran out of stuff to say, you sat awkwardly until someone went to get another drink, signaling the freedom to go find someone else to talk to. Lather, rinse, repeat until you've made your way through most of the group.
On the one hand, yes, it is a good way to meet new people. On the other hand, meeting people you actually have stuff in *common* with is kind of the luck of the draw. The whole group online consists of a more than three hundred people; the gatherings tend to have maybe a dozen attendees, maybe a few more or less depending on the location, I'm sure. Assuming the group is full of people like me who always find an excuse to *not* go, the people who do go are therefore probably the most outgoing types, and a good chunk of them already know each other, making it kinda awkward for the more shy types like me (I know, it is hard to believe - once you get to know me, I'm extremely shameless and easy-going; initial meetings, however, I tend to be sitting in the background going "OMG, NEW PEOPLE! Carry on folks, nothing to see here, just a lumpy bit of wallpaper that is totally unnoticeable" and never draw any attention to myself) to break into their cliques. While I'm sure there are a ton of fellow geeks on the list I would have a lot in common with and could jabber the night away with, easy, I'm just as sure those people have the same issue I do with actually socializing IN REAL LIFE, OMG! and are content to hide out on the safety of the internet, getting the invites and promptly ignoring them in favor of some D&D or the Star Wars Marathon on Spike TV.
So, yeah, it was interesting, but I don't think I'm going to go again any time soon. On the bright side, though, I'm pretty sure the guy doing the guitar thing was checking me out, and one of the cute guys who was also in the group - though he wasn't a newbie like me, he'd actually been in it for quite some time - did the "approach, talk until we run out of stuff to say, move on" thing two or three times with me, so that was kinda nice. Alas, despite the multiple approaches and the plesant conversation, we still didn't have much in common, so no exchange of email addresses or phone numbers was had.