Feeling High?
Digging through old journal entries shows me that no matter how much crap is flung my way I'll move on to bigger, better crap, or none at all and either way, I'll be better off than I was when I wrote about it. Every time I read something from the past, I basically just want to go back to that period, slap myself and say: "stop being such a bitch" and so on and so forth.
Watching old Urban Ninja clips has been great, its not only been funny to watch but its been so self gratifying in a way. I mean, I weighed 135lbs, was TINY compared to where I am now. I've earned the swagger, I've earned the confidence and the elitism when you see what I've built myself into. The ladies have definitely noticed and thus I no longer have to hide behind the shrewed false "holier than thou" motif I carried on for so long. I can just be "me" and I wouldn't want to be anyone else right now.
Yes, I am having my issues, yes, my heart was ripped from my chest and its having a difficult time staying put, yes, I am not an officer or flying jets, but by the grace of God, I get up when I get knocked down, I rebuild when I am destroyed and I have been infused with a sense to push myself, maybe not as hard or as far as I ought to, but I have drive and when I get behind that wheel god damn it I go places. Literally, figuratively, spiritually, socially, you name it.
At the end of the day, I am Steven Paul Damon and god dammit, I am big enough, smart enough and gosh darnit, people like me. Lol.
But seriously, I once thought Kevin Bacon had it right when he said: "its amazing what you can do when you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror" nay good sir, its amazing what you can do when you can look yourself in the mirror.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received was hardly advice at all but more of a scolding statment by Training Instructor: "You don't know what you're fucking capable of." Its true, I really don't and I am happy to say that after reading old entries, seeing old videos and seeing where I am at now, I really had no clue what I was capable of. Even as I write this now, someday I will read it in a far better position then than I am now. I'll laugh, I'll smirk, I'll say: "man I sound like a retard" but deep down, we both know that I am just setting myself up further for success, for that "I thought I was good then, I am even better now" feeling and it is glorious.
I am not even in a good mood either lol.
Watching old Urban Ninja clips has been great, its not only been funny to watch but its been so self gratifying in a way. I mean, I weighed 135lbs, was TINY compared to where I am now. I've earned the swagger, I've earned the confidence and the elitism when you see what I've built myself into. The ladies have definitely noticed and thus I no longer have to hide behind the shrewed false "holier than thou" motif I carried on for so long. I can just be "me" and I wouldn't want to be anyone else right now.
Yes, I am having my issues, yes, my heart was ripped from my chest and its having a difficult time staying put, yes, I am not an officer or flying jets, but by the grace of God, I get up when I get knocked down, I rebuild when I am destroyed and I have been infused with a sense to push myself, maybe not as hard or as far as I ought to, but I have drive and when I get behind that wheel god damn it I go places. Literally, figuratively, spiritually, socially, you name it.
At the end of the day, I am Steven Paul Damon and god dammit, I am big enough, smart enough and gosh darnit, people like me. Lol.
But seriously, I once thought Kevin Bacon had it right when he said: "its amazing what you can do when you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror" nay good sir, its amazing what you can do when you can look yourself in the mirror.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received was hardly advice at all but more of a scolding statment by Training Instructor: "You don't know what you're fucking capable of." Its true, I really don't and I am happy to say that after reading old entries, seeing old videos and seeing where I am at now, I really had no clue what I was capable of. Even as I write this now, someday I will read it in a far better position then than I am now. I'll laugh, I'll smirk, I'll say: "man I sound like a retard" but deep down, we both know that I am just setting myself up further for success, for that "I thought I was good then, I am even better now" feeling and it is glorious.
I am not even in a good mood either lol.