Mr. Bicycle Man
On the eve of my birthday, I'm thinking about you Randy, of how you came into my life at a time I decided that, no, I don't need friends and how meeting you made me realize that... mmm okay maybe just another one ... and okay fine, having friends ain't so bad after all... but then you killed yourself, you bloody wanker. A carnival of unfortunate events shortly followed after that, each more painful than the one that came before it, but yours is arguably the worst because you... you're gone forever. You slipped away in the the dead of the night in true Hokage fashion, accompanied by shadows and all that's terrible in the world.
How long have you been nurturing the poison eating you inside for it to grow so potent?
Man, if you could see me now, you'd shit your pants coz:
a) I'm no longer nocturnal (doesn't necessarily equate to having enough sleep),
b) I'm a tea person now,
c) I actually go to social events(doesn't necessarily equate to socializing),
d) that story I was asking your input on actually got published,
e) I no longer hide my face behind a wall of hair (doesn't necessarily equate to improved self-confidence) and
f) I biked from Imus to Silang (may have involved walking uphill at some points and getting pulled by my dad on a motorcycle...who knows)
The crippling questions you left that day still remain but each of us whose heart you've touched has limped on towards the morrow, day after day after day. And then sudddenly it's been two years. I wish you met Bengi, man, you'd have loved him. I made new friends, great friends in an environment where I don't conjure various, creative tragedies befalling me just to get out of and am relatively content----which means I'm about to lose my shit. In fact, I can feel the seams of my head getting gradually looser. It's going to hold, I'll make sure of it, but sometimes we need a wee peek inside, ya know? *pulls out Buck-Tick playlist*
Overall it's the same 19th of October, mulling over bonds that died a natural death, bonds that formed in its ashes, bonds I wish I could resurrect and bonds I hope to forge - tonight, the same tune plays on.
