Dear Adam
Dear Adam,
Wow, I don't even know what to write. There is so much to say, but nothing i write will be able to say it.
You did so much for me, Adam. You made me beautiful on the inside, and made me see that. You changed my view of the world entirely, showed me things I had never seen before. You made such a difference in me...showed me that there were people that cared for me...and introducing me to Memere, who is like my own memre now. You were her little baby Adam, she lived for you.
Wow...when we were dating...we always fought and hated each other. But when we weren't, we were so perfect together. Someone just said to me yesterday that we were joined at the hip, even thought I was here and you were down there.
You used to write notes to me in high school and crumple them instead of fold them, because you wanted to be different. I wish I still had all those notes now.
I was so mad at you when we broke up Adam, I deleted all of our prom photos...why am I so dumb? I tried to delete you out of my life...but you just kept coming back. No matter how hard I tried to forget you, you always kept coming back. I am so glad that I started talking to you again, baby, you always made me smile.
I remember the day you asked me to marry you...in the mudroom of my parents house, wearing you're little boyscout uniform. I was so mad at you that day...it was Valentine's Day, and you had just gotten suspended for smoking at school. Lol...you were just stopping by to get your homework and ended up asking me to marry you. I cried then too...but not nearly as much as I am crying now. It feels like it will never ever stop.
You were one of the few people that ever liked listening to me sing...well, I had a concert last night, and I didn't want to go. But I went because you told me to sing pretty for you the last time I talked to you. Well, I sang my heart out for you, Adam, and I know you were listening.
I miss our slow dances, you holding me tight and singing in my ear. I miss being in your arms as you cuddled me as we fell asleep. I miss those early mornings at the kennel, watching the sun come up, and then you walking me home so I could be there before my dad woke up. I miss you're little smiles at me through a roomful of people, letting me know that you were thinking of me and wanted to be with me.
You always stood up for me, even when everyone else was against me. You were so loyal to your friends, standing up for any of them even when all of the odds were against you.
I can't believe that I just talked to you on Friday...and I was supposed to see you on Tuesday...that was keeping me going through the week, knowing that I was going to see you.
God, I miss you so much, Adam. I have cried so many tears over you in the past...but never EVER like this. You used to wipe the tears off my face with your thumb as they rolled down my cheek...I wish you were here to do that now. You used to break my heart and be able to put all the little pieces back together with a little smile and a hug...but there's no putting it back together this time.
You told me you were going to call me on Friday night...and you never did...I wondered all night why you weren't calling me, but figured you were having fun and that I'd talk to you the next day. I keep wondering that if I had talked to you that night, would this have happened?
God I wish you were with me right now. I wish I was holding you in my arms. I keep waiting for you to call me to cheer me up...but I know that is never going to happen again.
It still hasn't really sunk in, that you're gone. I keep thinking that I will talk to you soon on the phone...and see you on Tuesday...and that you're going to come visit me at college so I can show you my apartment. There was so much we planned Adam, so much we were going to do together. Now I'm going to have to do them in memory of you, instead of with you.
There is so much more that I want to say, but have no idea how to say it, no idea what to write. I'm so scared Adam, knowing that you're gone, knowing that I will never talk to you again. I feel so lost...I feel that I lost a major part of me. I have so many memories with you, Adam, and I don't think I could ever write them all. I am so thankful for those memories.
I love you, Adam Joseph Beggs, and you will ALWAYS live on in my heart.
Rest in peace, baby. I miss you
Wow, I don't even know what to write. There is so much to say, but nothing i write will be able to say it.
You did so much for me, Adam. You made me beautiful on the inside, and made me see that. You changed my view of the world entirely, showed me things I had never seen before. You made such a difference in me...showed me that there were people that cared for me...and introducing me to Memere, who is like my own memre now. You were her little baby Adam, she lived for you.
Wow...when we were dating...we always fought and hated each other. But when we weren't, we were so perfect together. Someone just said to me yesterday that we were joined at the hip, even thought I was here and you were down there.
You used to write notes to me in high school and crumple them instead of fold them, because you wanted to be different. I wish I still had all those notes now.
I was so mad at you when we broke up Adam, I deleted all of our prom photos...why am I so dumb? I tried to delete you out of my life...but you just kept coming back. No matter how hard I tried to forget you, you always kept coming back. I am so glad that I started talking to you again, baby, you always made me smile.
I remember the day you asked me to marry you...in the mudroom of my parents house, wearing you're little boyscout uniform. I was so mad at you that day...it was Valentine's Day, and you had just gotten suspended for smoking at school. Lol...you were just stopping by to get your homework and ended up asking me to marry you. I cried then too...but not nearly as much as I am crying now. It feels like it will never ever stop.
You were one of the few people that ever liked listening to me sing...well, I had a concert last night, and I didn't want to go. But I went because you told me to sing pretty for you the last time I talked to you. Well, I sang my heart out for you, Adam, and I know you were listening.
I miss our slow dances, you holding me tight and singing in my ear. I miss being in your arms as you cuddled me as we fell asleep. I miss those early mornings at the kennel, watching the sun come up, and then you walking me home so I could be there before my dad woke up. I miss you're little smiles at me through a roomful of people, letting me know that you were thinking of me and wanted to be with me.
You always stood up for me, even when everyone else was against me. You were so loyal to your friends, standing up for any of them even when all of the odds were against you.
I can't believe that I just talked to you on Friday...and I was supposed to see you on Tuesday...that was keeping me going through the week, knowing that I was going to see you.
God, I miss you so much, Adam. I have cried so many tears over you in the past...but never EVER like this. You used to wipe the tears off my face with your thumb as they rolled down my cheek...I wish you were here to do that now. You used to break my heart and be able to put all the little pieces back together with a little smile and a hug...but there's no putting it back together this time.
You told me you were going to call me on Friday night...and you never did...I wondered all night why you weren't calling me, but figured you were having fun and that I'd talk to you the next day. I keep wondering that if I had talked to you that night, would this have happened?
God I wish you were with me right now. I wish I was holding you in my arms. I keep waiting for you to call me to cheer me up...but I know that is never going to happen again.
It still hasn't really sunk in, that you're gone. I keep thinking that I will talk to you soon on the phone...and see you on Tuesday...and that you're going to come visit me at college so I can show you my apartment. There was so much we planned Adam, so much we were going to do together. Now I'm going to have to do them in memory of you, instead of with you.
There is so much more that I want to say, but have no idea how to say it, no idea what to write. I'm so scared Adam, knowing that you're gone, knowing that I will never talk to you again. I feel so lost...I feel that I lost a major part of me. I have so many memories with you, Adam, and I don't think I could ever write them all. I am so thankful for those memories.
I love you, Adam Joseph Beggs, and you will ALWAYS live on in my heart.
Rest in peace, baby. I miss you