BYG - Ch 9
Title: Before You Go
Pairing(s): Jaemin, Yoosu (later),
Length: Chaptered 9/20?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (gang) violence, language, abduction
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: Jaejoong and his cousin have been swept up into the world of violence and gangs. The struggle and fight for his sanity is complicated greatly by the addition of a certain Shim Changmin into the mix. Will he be able to protect those he loves as well as save himself?
A/N: Wahahahaha this is fluffy 8B !
Prologue|Chapter 1| Chapter 2| Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 - part 1 - part 2 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
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Changmin opened his eyes slowly. His mind was in a thick fog and his eyelids were too heavy, lashes sticking together slightly. His eyes were burning dully, a pulsating ache. He blinked once sluggishly. There was a strange thumping in his ear. He stopped struggling to focus and let his eyes slip closed.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
It was right against his ear, beating steadily. Ever so calming. A heartbeat.
His eyes cracked open again, as his brain slowly swam into consciousness. There were strong arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders, cradling him against a chest. Against that steady heartbeat. The embrace was warm and safe.
Thump. Thump.
His eyes opened fully to take in the dim light of their prison. The color was the same: a suffocating surreal twilight. There was still the tangy smell of blood, and the same dampness that had made him feel like his skin would rot off his bones. But somehow it was no longer touching him.
The sound was all he could hear. It was so real. And so intimate.
He was afraid to move. Afraid to let go of that steady strength. It pulled him out of his nightmare into a different world where all that mattered was right here and right now. All that mattered was that sound, and the feel of it echoing through his whole being.
Thump…thump…thump…
Changmin lifted his hand and brought it up towards where his cheek rested. He pressed it gently against the spot, feeling the pulse against his palm. The beat slowed slightly, then picked up again, barely faster. A breath wafted over his hair. Changmin’s fingers curled into Jaejoong’s shirt.
A strange stuffy feeling was building in his chest, he could feel his own heart beating through his whole torso, blood rushing up to his cheeks. He pushed his head closer into Jaejoong’s chest, suddenly feeling embarrassed by his current position. He didn’t know what to do.
He had never been this close to someone. He could feel practically everywhere his body was touching the other’s. He was so warm and so real. He was…another man. Changmin’s face burned more strongly; he felt so hot. Shouldn’t he pull away? This was so awkward…
Jaejoong’s arms suddenly tightened around him and Changmin’s breath caught. Then there was a light pressure on his hair, as if there was something pressing against it. Lips. Oh my god…
Changmin’s squeezed his eyes tightly closed. His heart was thudding rapidly in his chest, jumping up towards his throat where his air was still trapped. He couldn’t breathe. What was he supposed to do?
As if his body was no longer under his control, his muscles suddenly gave a spasm in a weak attempt to pull away. That touch left his hair, but the arms didn’t let him go. If anything, they pulled him more tightly, more closely, against the warm body. No, it was too warm, too hot, and his heart was racing.
“Don’t move.” Jaejoong spoke suddenly, shocking him.
He froze, tensing up as another wave of heat flushed into his head. He was going to be sick.
“H-hyung, I can’t… breathe.” He barely was able to stutter out the words, as he tried to push away from the other again.
This time Jaejoong let him go, and as he pulled away to sit up he was already regretting it. He looked at his lap, able to feel eyes on him, scrutinizing his face.
“Are you feeling okay?”
The concern was obvious in the other’s tone, and Changmin bit his lip as more blood seemed determined to rush into his already flaming face. He was sure Jaejoong could see it, could feel the heat coming off of him, and it made him feel even more ashamed. What the hell was wrong with his body.
Changmin jumped as a cool hand suddenly laid across his forehead. His eyes flew up to be met with those big black eyes, looking at him with concern.
“You’re burning up.” Jaejoong frowned, fingers moving to brush Changmin’s bangs out of his eyes.
Changmin wanted to pull away. He felt so shy. But he couldn’t move. And…somehow he didn’t want Jaejoong to take his hand away. But the other was already moving back, turning and reaching for their water bottle. It was almost empty.
“Here, you gotta drink something.” Jaejoong unscrewed the cap and held it up to Changmin’s lips.
Changmin’s gaze was locked on Jaejoong’s eyes. Which were now staring at Changmin's lips. Self-consciously, he bit his bottom lip again, turning his face away in further embarrassment as Jaejoong continued to stare at him.
“T-that’s okay. You drink it.” He forced the words out, his throat was raw and his voice cracked a little.
Jaejoong smiled slightly. “It’s okay. You need it more than me.”
He continued to hold the bottle up, and Changmin decided it would be less awkward if he just gave in and drank it himself. He quickly reached up to take the bottle away from Jaejoong, overly conscious of the way their fingers almost touched. His eyes flickered to Jaejoong’s face. The other was still smiling at him. He looked amused.
Changmin turned away hurriedly, gulping down the water and choking as it caught in his throat. He started to cough, face twisting in pain as the rough action ripped at his already abused throat. Jaejoong’s hand was instantly on his back, patting gently as he coughed and sputtered.
He flickered a discreet glance at the other as he finally caught his breath. He was making such a fool of himself. That must be why Jaejoong was still smiling at him. There was unspoken laughter glinting in those shiny black eyes.
“You okay?”
Jaejong seemed barely able to contain his smile, and Changmin wondered if it was possible to feel any more thoroughly mortified than he already was. Geez, why was his body so out of control, and why did he care about the other’s gaze so much, anyway?
Changmin nodded weakly, eyes trained on the floor. There was a deep, black crack in the concrete, running all the way from the wall until where Jaejoong’s hand was resting on top of it. His eyes caught on that hand. It looked strong and rough. Much different from how it had felt running through his hair…how it had felt against his cheek, soft and warm.
Changmin realized a moment later that he was staring, and he tore his eyes away. His hand flew up to brush at his hair distractedly, trying to smooth it down and hide his jittery nerves.
Next to him Jaejoong laughed softly. Changmin avoided looking at him, trying to focus his eyes on something else, anything else, except the other man who sat so close to him. But he couldn’t control himself as Jaejoong called his attention once again.
“Hey.”
He looked over despite his resolve. Jaejoong’s teeth were white. His smile pulled slightly to one side…he almost had a dimple in one cheek. Oh god, he was staring again. Changmin looked away, determinedly frowning down at his lap.
Jaejoong laughed again. The sound was light and amiable. Changmin felt like such an idiot. He couldn’t believe he was acting like this in front of a grown man. In front of a freaking gorgeous man…with soft hands and warm skin-
Changmin buried his face in one hand, letting out a shaky, broken sigh. “I…I’m sorry.” he breathed. He felt so ashamed of himself. Why was he thinking this way? Why was his body reacting as if…as if…This wasn't okay. Jaejoong must think he was sick…it was obvious he was flustered, that he couldn't even control himself...
“For what?” Jaejoong's question brought him back out of his thoughts.
Changmin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and get some sort of control over his body. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He couldn’t look up.
“Sorry…I’m just… I’m so…” He struggled to explain himself without making Jaejoong feel awkward…or disgusted, but Jaejoong interrupted.
“Just so ridiculously cute?”
Changmin’s words died in his throat. His mind was effectively wiped blank. Cute…?
Despite himself, he raised his head to look at Jaejoong. The other man was still smiling. His eyes were soft. Changmin felt what was left of the little rational voice in his head melt into fuzzy oblivion.
Jaejoong expression looked so honest, and so….warm. He could look at that face forever and never get tired of it. Did he really not think Changmin was a freak?
Hesitantly, he smiled back, and jumped as Jaejoong suddenly punched him lightly in one shoulder. The touch was undeniably affectionate. An odd bubbly feeling erupted in his stomach. Changmin cringed internally as he was barely able to suppress a giggle. Really, what the hell was wrong with him?
“Changmin-ah.” Jaejoong’s sweet smile slowly faded into a more serious expression, and Changmin was finally able to catch his breath. Jaejoong was staring at him steadily now, his voice was low and purposeful. “Changmin-ah, I am going to get you out of here.” He paused, “but, you must promise me something.”
Changmin’s heart seemed to still. It must have stopped beating. Jaejoong’s eyes were so dark, now suddenly so deep; those eyes were almost burning.
“Promise me… that you‘ll do whatever I ask.” They stared into each other’s eyes. Changmin’s throat was dry, and his chest felt oddly tight. For some reason he didn’t want Jaejoong to continue. But the man took a breath, and said, “If I say run, you’ll run. If I say leave me and go, you must go.” Jaejoong’s voice was soft, but the words pierced through Changmin's core sharply.
Changmin couldn’t speak, could only stare helplessly into those eyes. They were shining with unspoken words. How could he ask him that?
“Promise me.” He leaned forward slightly, his voice now barely above a whisper.
Changmin seemed frozen. He wanted to say no. He had to say no. They were going to leave together. But he couldn’t form the word. Slowly, he shook his head. Then again, more firmly. He continued to shake his head almost frantically as Jaejoong sighed in what might have been exasperation.
“Changmin-ah…”
Changmin’s breath had quickened, he felt panic rising. He couldn’t promise that. Spurred by some unknown force, as just the idea of being alone without Jaejoong terrified him, he reached out blindly. Grabbing Jaejoong’s shirt he pulled himself forward, burying his face in Jaejoong’s chest. He shook his head again.
“Hyung I can’t!” His voice rose slightly, but then Jaejoong’s arms were sliding around him again, tugging him closer.
The black haired man didn’t speak again, didn’t push him, didn’t ask him…and Changmin wondered what his silence meant. He couldn’t let his hyung do that.
“No. I wont.” He protested again, taking a deep steadying breath. Jaejoong sighed, one hand coming to his hair again. As if saying it was going to be alright. But it wasn't alright, because Changmin was starting to love that feeling…
Jaejoong took a breath, Changmin felt his chest rise. He paused, and in that quiet moment they clearly heard sound from the corridor outside. Of course, they would come now. Jaejoong’s arms tightened briefly, before he was almost reluctantly pushing Changmin back by the shoulders to look into his eyes.
With just one look Changmin knew all that the other was trying to say. It made his heart stutter with emotions.
As the thugs entered, Jaejoong had moved to stand in front of Changmin, to block him, but he hadn’t even needed to as the men wrapped their hands around Jaejoong’s arms and subsequently dragged him out of the room. He twisted around to seek Changmin’s eyes again and Changmin could only sit there stupidly, eyes wide.
The look in his eyes burned into Changmin’s memory as the door closed in front of him.
Don’t worry. I wont abandon you. I will…protect you.
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Chapter 10
kkkkkkkkkkkkk oooookay fluffy -0-! it was kinda hard to make min's character, so i hope it's okay! :)
Pairing(s): Jaemin, Yoosu (later),
Length: Chaptered 9/20?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (gang) violence, language, abduction
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: Jaejoong and his cousin have been swept up into the world of violence and gangs. The struggle and fight for his sanity is complicated greatly by the addition of a certain Shim Changmin into the mix. Will he be able to protect those he loves as well as save himself?
A/N: Wahahahaha this is fluffy 8B !
Prologue|Chapter 1| Chapter 2| Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 - part 1 - part 2 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
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************
Changmin opened his eyes slowly. His mind was in a thick fog and his eyelids were too heavy, lashes sticking together slightly. His eyes were burning dully, a pulsating ache. He blinked once sluggishly. There was a strange thumping in his ear. He stopped struggling to focus and let his eyes slip closed.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
It was right against his ear, beating steadily. Ever so calming. A heartbeat.
His eyes cracked open again, as his brain slowly swam into consciousness. There were strong arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders, cradling him against a chest. Against that steady heartbeat. The embrace was warm and safe.
Thump. Thump.
His eyes opened fully to take in the dim light of their prison. The color was the same: a suffocating surreal twilight. There was still the tangy smell of blood, and the same dampness that had made him feel like his skin would rot off his bones. But somehow it was no longer touching him.
The sound was all he could hear. It was so real. And so intimate.
He was afraid to move. Afraid to let go of that steady strength. It pulled him out of his nightmare into a different world where all that mattered was right here and right now. All that mattered was that sound, and the feel of it echoing through his whole being.
Thump…thump…thump…
Changmin lifted his hand and brought it up towards where his cheek rested. He pressed it gently against the spot, feeling the pulse against his palm. The beat slowed slightly, then picked up again, barely faster. A breath wafted over his hair. Changmin’s fingers curled into Jaejoong’s shirt.
A strange stuffy feeling was building in his chest, he could feel his own heart beating through his whole torso, blood rushing up to his cheeks. He pushed his head closer into Jaejoong’s chest, suddenly feeling embarrassed by his current position. He didn’t know what to do.
He had never been this close to someone. He could feel practically everywhere his body was touching the other’s. He was so warm and so real. He was…another man. Changmin’s face burned more strongly; he felt so hot. Shouldn’t he pull away? This was so awkward…
Jaejoong’s arms suddenly tightened around him and Changmin’s breath caught. Then there was a light pressure on his hair, as if there was something pressing against it. Lips. Oh my god…
Changmin’s squeezed his eyes tightly closed. His heart was thudding rapidly in his chest, jumping up towards his throat where his air was still trapped. He couldn’t breathe. What was he supposed to do?
As if his body was no longer under his control, his muscles suddenly gave a spasm in a weak attempt to pull away. That touch left his hair, but the arms didn’t let him go. If anything, they pulled him more tightly, more closely, against the warm body. No, it was too warm, too hot, and his heart was racing.
“Don’t move.” Jaejoong spoke suddenly, shocking him.
He froze, tensing up as another wave of heat flushed into his head. He was going to be sick.
“H-hyung, I can’t… breathe.” He barely was able to stutter out the words, as he tried to push away from the other again.
This time Jaejoong let him go, and as he pulled away to sit up he was already regretting it. He looked at his lap, able to feel eyes on him, scrutinizing his face.
“Are you feeling okay?”
The concern was obvious in the other’s tone, and Changmin bit his lip as more blood seemed determined to rush into his already flaming face. He was sure Jaejoong could see it, could feel the heat coming off of him, and it made him feel even more ashamed. What the hell was wrong with his body.
Changmin jumped as a cool hand suddenly laid across his forehead. His eyes flew up to be met with those big black eyes, looking at him with concern.
“You’re burning up.” Jaejoong frowned, fingers moving to brush Changmin’s bangs out of his eyes.
Changmin wanted to pull away. He felt so shy. But he couldn’t move. And…somehow he didn’t want Jaejoong to take his hand away. But the other was already moving back, turning and reaching for their water bottle. It was almost empty.
“Here, you gotta drink something.” Jaejoong unscrewed the cap and held it up to Changmin’s lips.
Changmin’s gaze was locked on Jaejoong’s eyes. Which were now staring at Changmin's lips. Self-consciously, he bit his bottom lip again, turning his face away in further embarrassment as Jaejoong continued to stare at him.
“T-that’s okay. You drink it.” He forced the words out, his throat was raw and his voice cracked a little.
Jaejoong smiled slightly. “It’s okay. You need it more than me.”
He continued to hold the bottle up, and Changmin decided it would be less awkward if he just gave in and drank it himself. He quickly reached up to take the bottle away from Jaejoong, overly conscious of the way their fingers almost touched. His eyes flickered to Jaejoong’s face. The other was still smiling at him. He looked amused.
Changmin turned away hurriedly, gulping down the water and choking as it caught in his throat. He started to cough, face twisting in pain as the rough action ripped at his already abused throat. Jaejoong’s hand was instantly on his back, patting gently as he coughed and sputtered.
He flickered a discreet glance at the other as he finally caught his breath. He was making such a fool of himself. That must be why Jaejoong was still smiling at him. There was unspoken laughter glinting in those shiny black eyes.
“You okay?”
Jaejong seemed barely able to contain his smile, and Changmin wondered if it was possible to feel any more thoroughly mortified than he already was. Geez, why was his body so out of control, and why did he care about the other’s gaze so much, anyway?
Changmin nodded weakly, eyes trained on the floor. There was a deep, black crack in the concrete, running all the way from the wall until where Jaejoong’s hand was resting on top of it. His eyes caught on that hand. It looked strong and rough. Much different from how it had felt running through his hair…how it had felt against his cheek, soft and warm.
Changmin realized a moment later that he was staring, and he tore his eyes away. His hand flew up to brush at his hair distractedly, trying to smooth it down and hide his jittery nerves.
Next to him Jaejoong laughed softly. Changmin avoided looking at him, trying to focus his eyes on something else, anything else, except the other man who sat so close to him. But he couldn’t control himself as Jaejoong called his attention once again.
“Hey.”
He looked over despite his resolve. Jaejoong’s teeth were white. His smile pulled slightly to one side…he almost had a dimple in one cheek. Oh god, he was staring again. Changmin looked away, determinedly frowning down at his lap.
Jaejoong laughed again. The sound was light and amiable. Changmin felt like such an idiot. He couldn’t believe he was acting like this in front of a grown man. In front of a freaking gorgeous man…with soft hands and warm skin-
Changmin buried his face in one hand, letting out a shaky, broken sigh. “I…I’m sorry.” he breathed. He felt so ashamed of himself. Why was he thinking this way? Why was his body reacting as if…as if…This wasn't okay. Jaejoong must think he was sick…it was obvious he was flustered, that he couldn't even control himself...
“For what?” Jaejoong's question brought him back out of his thoughts.
Changmin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and get some sort of control over his body. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He couldn’t look up.
“Sorry…I’m just… I’m so…” He struggled to explain himself without making Jaejoong feel awkward…or disgusted, but Jaejoong interrupted.
“Just so ridiculously cute?”
Changmin’s words died in his throat. His mind was effectively wiped blank. Cute…?
Despite himself, he raised his head to look at Jaejoong. The other man was still smiling. His eyes were soft. Changmin felt what was left of the little rational voice in his head melt into fuzzy oblivion.
Jaejoong expression looked so honest, and so….warm. He could look at that face forever and never get tired of it. Did he really not think Changmin was a freak?
Hesitantly, he smiled back, and jumped as Jaejoong suddenly punched him lightly in one shoulder. The touch was undeniably affectionate. An odd bubbly feeling erupted in his stomach. Changmin cringed internally as he was barely able to suppress a giggle. Really, what the hell was wrong with him?
“Changmin-ah.” Jaejoong’s sweet smile slowly faded into a more serious expression, and Changmin was finally able to catch his breath. Jaejoong was staring at him steadily now, his voice was low and purposeful. “Changmin-ah, I am going to get you out of here.” He paused, “but, you must promise me something.”
Changmin’s heart seemed to still. It must have stopped beating. Jaejoong’s eyes were so dark, now suddenly so deep; those eyes were almost burning.
“Promise me… that you‘ll do whatever I ask.” They stared into each other’s eyes. Changmin’s throat was dry, and his chest felt oddly tight. For some reason he didn’t want Jaejoong to continue. But the man took a breath, and said, “If I say run, you’ll run. If I say leave me and go, you must go.” Jaejoong’s voice was soft, but the words pierced through Changmin's core sharply.
Changmin couldn’t speak, could only stare helplessly into those eyes. They were shining with unspoken words. How could he ask him that?
“Promise me.” He leaned forward slightly, his voice now barely above a whisper.
Changmin seemed frozen. He wanted to say no. He had to say no. They were going to leave together. But he couldn’t form the word. Slowly, he shook his head. Then again, more firmly. He continued to shake his head almost frantically as Jaejoong sighed in what might have been exasperation.
“Changmin-ah…”
Changmin’s breath had quickened, he felt panic rising. He couldn’t promise that. Spurred by some unknown force, as just the idea of being alone without Jaejoong terrified him, he reached out blindly. Grabbing Jaejoong’s shirt he pulled himself forward, burying his face in Jaejoong’s chest. He shook his head again.
“Hyung I can’t!” His voice rose slightly, but then Jaejoong’s arms were sliding around him again, tugging him closer.
The black haired man didn’t speak again, didn’t push him, didn’t ask him…and Changmin wondered what his silence meant. He couldn’t let his hyung do that.
“No. I wont.” He protested again, taking a deep steadying breath. Jaejoong sighed, one hand coming to his hair again. As if saying it was going to be alright. But it wasn't alright, because Changmin was starting to love that feeling…
Jaejoong took a breath, Changmin felt his chest rise. He paused, and in that quiet moment they clearly heard sound from the corridor outside. Of course, they would come now. Jaejoong’s arms tightened briefly, before he was almost reluctantly pushing Changmin back by the shoulders to look into his eyes.
With just one look Changmin knew all that the other was trying to say. It made his heart stutter with emotions.
As the thugs entered, Jaejoong had moved to stand in front of Changmin, to block him, but he hadn’t even needed to as the men wrapped their hands around Jaejoong’s arms and subsequently dragged him out of the room. He twisted around to seek Changmin’s eyes again and Changmin could only sit there stupidly, eyes wide.
The look in his eyes burned into Changmin’s memory as the door closed in front of him.
Don’t worry. I wont abandon you. I will…protect you.
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Chapter 10
kkkkkkkkkkkkk oooookay fluffy -0-! it was kinda hard to make min's character, so i hope it's okay! :)