My Subconscious Must be Upset
CW: violence, self harm, dreams
Last night I had horror styled dreams, I slept for maybe two hours at a time and woke several times throughout the evening.
The first dream that awoke me after a few hours trying to fall asleep had me dangling by the end of a rope. I had a rope over a beam and my neck tied with a noose, but when I dropped I was just choking. I was so disappointed that it hadn't snapped my neck. Determined in my dream as I was, I was annoyed at the inconvenience of a slow demise. So gasping for air, I pulled on the rope above me, slowly lifting myself up to the beam so I could drop with more permanence. Wake up.
The second dream had me visiting with a friend, and many other friends were in and out but it was all very blasé, as they were just watching TV and I was folding laundry... Decided to wish my friend a happy birthday and leave. Met an underage friend in the parking lot spoke for a bit, watch them decide to smoke pot, I declined their offer. I got in my car to leave. Took the turn out next to the building too sharply when I noticed the chain across the driveway. Sped into some nighttime landscapers, to whom I profusely apologized. Backed the car out and parked illegally when I realize I forgot to put my wheel barrow in my car. Exit the car, walk around but stop as something, I cannot exactly remember details but reminiscent of a small cat/monkey, stalking along the drive. It was staring
at me and surrounded by an angry aura. I back away to go towards my friends apartment. Watch as a stranger see the creature, stalk behind it as it stalked me and scare it off. Return to my car to find I must explain to the police why I'm illegally parked on a drive way, ofcourse they want to corroborate my story, but I recall my underage friend in the parking lot. As I am thinking of ways to stall, a black mustang comes out of a garage nearby, does a few donuts and drives off barely missing me as I jump out of the way. The police officer is proceeding to ticket me. Wake up.
Before falling asleep again, I visualize mutilations; blood, guts and gore. My mind is in a red turbulent vice of blades slicing into skin, pealing away the flesh, exposing the raw muscle, fat, and organs beneath. It's quiet jarring when you close your eyes to such vivid imaginings and it take some time to quiet my wakeful hallucinations.
Third dream I had remembered upon waking, but now is fading too fast for me to recall. I just remember that again I was scared, waking up in an instant and wondering why did I have a night full of terror waking and sleeping.
I don't necessarily believe that dreams have direct meanings, though sometimes they do. Your dreams are filled with your own experiences, even tv shows/movies/media/etc all mushed together by your subconscious. Considering it was a night of unrest as far as my quality of sleep, I'm just tired and want my brain to take a day or two off from nightmares.
I actively avoid suspenseful horror, or horror for horror sake because I do have an overactive imagination. Watching The Ring by myself in a movie theatre at a young age was not a wise course of action. I don't usually mind blood, guts, and gore though usually imersed within fantasy/supernatural environment, which takes reality out of the concept.
Last night I had horror styled dreams, I slept for maybe two hours at a time and woke several times throughout the evening.
The first dream that awoke me after a few hours trying to fall asleep had me dangling by the end of a rope. I had a rope over a beam and my neck tied with a noose, but when I dropped I was just choking. I was so disappointed that it hadn't snapped my neck. Determined in my dream as I was, I was annoyed at the inconvenience of a slow demise. So gasping for air, I pulled on the rope above me, slowly lifting myself up to the beam so I could drop with more permanence. Wake up.
The second dream had me visiting with a friend, and many other friends were in and out but it was all very blasé, as they were just watching TV and I was folding laundry... Decided to wish my friend a happy birthday and leave. Met an underage friend in the parking lot spoke for a bit, watch them decide to smoke pot, I declined their offer. I got in my car to leave. Took the turn out next to the building too sharply when I noticed the chain across the driveway. Sped into some nighttime landscapers, to whom I profusely apologized. Backed the car out and parked illegally when I realize I forgot to put my wheel barrow in my car. Exit the car, walk around but stop as something, I cannot exactly remember details but reminiscent of a small cat/monkey, stalking along the drive. It was staring
at me and surrounded by an angry aura. I back away to go towards my friends apartment. Watch as a stranger see the creature, stalk behind it as it stalked me and scare it off. Return to my car to find I must explain to the police why I'm illegally parked on a drive way, ofcourse they want to corroborate my story, but I recall my underage friend in the parking lot. As I am thinking of ways to stall, a black mustang comes out of a garage nearby, does a few donuts and drives off barely missing me as I jump out of the way. The police officer is proceeding to ticket me. Wake up.
Before falling asleep again, I visualize mutilations; blood, guts and gore. My mind is in a red turbulent vice of blades slicing into skin, pealing away the flesh, exposing the raw muscle, fat, and organs beneath. It's quiet jarring when you close your eyes to such vivid imaginings and it take some time to quiet my wakeful hallucinations.
Third dream I had remembered upon waking, but now is fading too fast for me to recall. I just remember that again I was scared, waking up in an instant and wondering why did I have a night full of terror waking and sleeping.
I don't necessarily believe that dreams have direct meanings, though sometimes they do. Your dreams are filled with your own experiences, even tv shows/movies/media/etc all mushed together by your subconscious. Considering it was a night of unrest as far as my quality of sleep, I'm just tired and want my brain to take a day or two off from nightmares.
I actively avoid suspenseful horror, or horror for horror sake because I do have an overactive imagination. Watching The Ring by myself in a movie theatre at a young age was not a wise course of action. I don't usually mind blood, guts, and gore though usually imersed within fantasy/supernatural environment, which takes reality out of the concept.