L'ETRE ET L'AME -- Chapter 5 A Twilight Fan Fiction
At first, Jasper worried how Emmett’s departure might affect Bella. Up until that point, she had spent most of her time in Alaska secluded with a computer. However, Emmett had taken on the role of big brother in Bella’s life long before the disastrous birthday party, and Jasper wasn’t at all certain that the Denali family would be able ( Read more... )
Vampires toying with chewing gum ~ what a piquant thought! So original!
~~ Bella turned the pack over to read the ingredients then sniffed the open end. She looked over at Jasper. “Have you tried it?”
His felt his nostrils twitch at the very idea. “No.” ~~
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~~ Bella “flipped like Ninja” as Kate later put it, ~~
What a great little quote! And what a great way to bring Kate to life for the reader!
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~~ He was idly strumming Heart of Gold on his guitar one night when his mind drifted back to an article Rosalie had given Edward on the “biology of parenting” when he first decided to pursue a relationship with Bella. It was nothing Edward (and Jasper for that matter) hadn’t read before-how parents’ deep attachments to their infants is connected to their offsprings’ helplessness, their dependence, and on the singularity of the relationship. All of the things that Bella was to Edward.
On the last page, Rosalie had hand-written: “There are words for men who become obsessed with infants--none of them nice.” ~~
Wow, that is powerful. I won't be able to think of Rosalie, and her view of Edward's fascination with Bella, without thinking of this passage now. You have just ruled canon. (And by the way, 'Heart of Gold' is one of my flat out favorite songs!)
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The delicate little anachronisms be it in phrasing or in actions:
~~ the sky was dark as the devil’s pocket ~~
~~ He went downstairs and settled in with a fountain pen and a hardbound journal. It was a habit he had picked up from Carlisle, though Carlisle kept his private journal with a quill. ~~
Oh my. Carlisle keeping a journal with a quill. I just sat down and sighed for a long while about that. Your characters are so beautifully limned!
And Charlie: “Bella was cautious. Not outdoorsy at all. She would never have done anything so slap-foolish.” You capture Charlie's character in his words, and show the tragedy without being maudlin or 'angsty'.
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And then you lay the hammer down. Bella's first kill. God.
And you trace for us the meaning of "L'Etre et L'Ame".
All I could say was yes yes yes yes.
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