EMPTY
I FAILED three subjects in my last APR in school. I got three U and only one E.
My mama was so mad when she found out about the result.
She kept blaming JUMP for my bad result. She said that JUMP was the main reason why I failed my papers.
After that, she made a new rule. She banned me from talking or writing anything that is related to JUMP.
She banned me from logging into my FB account.
If she caught me watching JUMP's videos or even just listening to their songs, she'll take away my lap top. She also warned me, if I fail my next APR, she is going to cook all my Jdorama DVDs and burn all my JUMP's pictures and posters.
Of course I can't say NO ...
She's my mother. She has the right on me.
But, no JUMP means no LIFE to me...
I feel empty without them.
I hardly smile without them.
I feel small, weak, dead without them.
All this time, JUMP was the one that gives me power, strength to continue my life.
But now...I'm not even allowed to look at them.
I miss them...I miss them... so much till its hurt.
My life is getting worser day by day. I don't know why but I feel like...I'm being hated.
I feel like my friends are now looking at me differently. I feel like they are slowly leaving me.
I cried, cried and cried...but still I can't find the answer.
Sometimes, I feel like don't want to live anymore.
Sometimes, I feel like grabbing a knife and kill myself.
Sometimes, I feel like jumping off the roof and die.
Sometimes, I feel like cutting my wrist.
If only committing suicide is not a sin, I would already done it long long time ago.
But, I know...I can't...
I love JUMP, I love my friends...
I don't want to lose any of them.
Yuto said, smiles can save the world... even though it is a fake one? If yes, then I'll smile.
My mama was so mad when she found out about the result.
She kept blaming JUMP for my bad result. She said that JUMP was the main reason why I failed my papers.
After that, she made a new rule. She banned me from talking or writing anything that is related to JUMP.
She banned me from logging into my FB account.
If she caught me watching JUMP's videos or even just listening to their songs, she'll take away my lap top. She also warned me, if I fail my next APR, she is going to cook all my Jdorama DVDs and burn all my JUMP's pictures and posters.
Of course I can't say NO ...
She's my mother. She has the right on me.
But, no JUMP means no LIFE to me...
I feel empty without them.
I hardly smile without them.
I feel small, weak, dead without them.
All this time, JUMP was the one that gives me power, strength to continue my life.
But now...I'm not even allowed to look at them.
I miss them...I miss them... so much till its hurt.
My life is getting worser day by day. I don't know why but I feel like...I'm being hated.
I feel like my friends are now looking at me differently. I feel like they are slowly leaving me.
I cried, cried and cried...but still I can't find the answer.
Sometimes, I feel like don't want to live anymore.
Sometimes, I feel like grabbing a knife and kill myself.
Sometimes, I feel like jumping off the roof and die.
Sometimes, I feel like cutting my wrist.
If only committing suicide is not a sin, I would already done it long long time ago.
But, I know...I can't...
I love JUMP, I love my friends...
I don't want to lose any of them.
Yuto said, smiles can save the world... even though it is a fake one? If yes, then I'll smile.