When the world comes crashing down...
I had the scare of my life yesterday. All the work I put into my senior project for the past 8 months or so, give or take, I'd accidentally written over the files on my computer. In an instant, because I was not careful and into the habit of replacing folders rather than individual files - it was gone.
Needless to say I went apeshit. But, rather than going into detail about my apeshit mode, I want to share how I managed to survive it. (And P.S. no worries about the project, I had a back up on a school computer a few weeks old that by chance, no one had deleted yet and so I have to make up a few weeks, but better than months!).
There's this book I've been told about. "Slowing down to the Speed of Life" by Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey. I haven't read this but someone was nice enough to xerox a particular chapter that I think saved my life.
So to summarize, there are two modes of thinking. Analytical, which is what we use to do like math and solve etc. and free flow, where thoughts will just come to us naturally. I'm still not clear as to the two sides but basically, when you're sitting there going, "OMG I have a meeting this afternoon and maybe they won't like what I'm presenting and maybe I should have done this different and OMG am I dressed okay for this- I'm so gonna fail!" etc. you're using the wrong side of the brain to produce thought that isn't resolving or producing results.
I don't want to write a novel here. Just take these tips to heart next time you're going crazy in your mind about everything:
1) STOP. Is my way of thinking productive right now? E.g. Can I work on paying the bill/tweaking my project/doing this homework/whatever, right now? Will my thinking change the current status of it this minute, this second? Unless you can tend to whatever it is at hand the moment you're thinking of it, put it aside until you can.
Also depending on what it is, like I lost some of my project files last night, after I calmed down, I wrote about what I lost and what I had. And then put it aside. That way when it came time, I can work with what I had and knew what I had to do later without having to spend every waking moment thinking "Omg what have I lost and what am I gonna do?" Doing something like that IS productive so it's okay to think about it and once it was on paper, put it away for when you need it.
2) Do I have enough evidence to support my negative thoughts? Do I have the evidence to say that because I overwrote these files, that it is impossible to graduate? Do I have evidence that if I don't do this, this really bad thing will happen - is it a guaranteed, fact? In my case, I didn't know what my options would be until I spoke to my professor and the chairman, as well as talked to the tech managers at school.
And so. Last night, of course, we're human. My initial reaction was to go nuts. And I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that once I caught myself, I just wiped all worry away just like that book said. Matter of fact, one of the things the book tells you is that you should expect that there will be times that your mind takes over again and it's normal. Just take pride in the times when you're able to catch yourself and divert those "thought attacks" they like to call it. So I spent a good two hours in an unpleasant state.
After the two hours were up, I took a shower, had some tea, made that list of what I lost/had, and went to bed, accepting that at this point, crying would solve nothing and until I had all the facts, I can't sit here going crazy.
And that saved me. Luckily some higher force favored me and I recovered my files when I wasn't even looking for them. I hadn't thought about that option at all last night. When I went to school, it took me two hours to pass that computer when I'd already accepted that I'd have to start over, when I went, hmm, I wonder. And then I was rewarded.
When you're not constantly worrying, going frantic looking for your keys or trying to remember that phone number, the free flowing mind kicks in and provides your answers/options that you would be unable to see if you were panicked/stressed. It's no accident that you remember things only when you're not looking for them. If you can't find it, you can't solve it, put it aside and it will all come to you naturally. Decisions can only be made and answers found when you're calm.
And so, I feel like I've reached enlightenment or something. Ooooohm. Ooooohm. Okay, done fooling around. About to apply for an internship I really want and ready to bring this project to the end. If there is a God up there, I just want to say, I love you. Night all.
Needless to say I went apeshit. But, rather than going into detail about my apeshit mode, I want to share how I managed to survive it. (And P.S. no worries about the project, I had a back up on a school computer a few weeks old that by chance, no one had deleted yet and so I have to make up a few weeks, but better than months!).
There's this book I've been told about. "Slowing down to the Speed of Life" by Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey. I haven't read this but someone was nice enough to xerox a particular chapter that I think saved my life.
So to summarize, there are two modes of thinking. Analytical, which is what we use to do like math and solve etc. and free flow, where thoughts will just come to us naturally. I'm still not clear as to the two sides but basically, when you're sitting there going, "OMG I have a meeting this afternoon and maybe they won't like what I'm presenting and maybe I should have done this different and OMG am I dressed okay for this- I'm so gonna fail!" etc. you're using the wrong side of the brain to produce thought that isn't resolving or producing results.
I don't want to write a novel here. Just take these tips to heart next time you're going crazy in your mind about everything:
1) STOP. Is my way of thinking productive right now? E.g. Can I work on paying the bill/tweaking my project/doing this homework/whatever, right now? Will my thinking change the current status of it this minute, this second? Unless you can tend to whatever it is at hand the moment you're thinking of it, put it aside until you can.
Also depending on what it is, like I lost some of my project files last night, after I calmed down, I wrote about what I lost and what I had. And then put it aside. That way when it came time, I can work with what I had and knew what I had to do later without having to spend every waking moment thinking "Omg what have I lost and what am I gonna do?" Doing something like that IS productive so it's okay to think about it and once it was on paper, put it away for when you need it.
2) Do I have enough evidence to support my negative thoughts? Do I have the evidence to say that because I overwrote these files, that it is impossible to graduate? Do I have evidence that if I don't do this, this really bad thing will happen - is it a guaranteed, fact? In my case, I didn't know what my options would be until I spoke to my professor and the chairman, as well as talked to the tech managers at school.
And so. Last night, of course, we're human. My initial reaction was to go nuts. And I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that once I caught myself, I just wiped all worry away just like that book said. Matter of fact, one of the things the book tells you is that you should expect that there will be times that your mind takes over again and it's normal. Just take pride in the times when you're able to catch yourself and divert those "thought attacks" they like to call it. So I spent a good two hours in an unpleasant state.
After the two hours were up, I took a shower, had some tea, made that list of what I lost/had, and went to bed, accepting that at this point, crying would solve nothing and until I had all the facts, I can't sit here going crazy.
And that saved me. Luckily some higher force favored me and I recovered my files when I wasn't even looking for them. I hadn't thought about that option at all last night. When I went to school, it took me two hours to pass that computer when I'd already accepted that I'd have to start over, when I went, hmm, I wonder. And then I was rewarded.
When you're not constantly worrying, going frantic looking for your keys or trying to remember that phone number, the free flowing mind kicks in and provides your answers/options that you would be unable to see if you were panicked/stressed. It's no accident that you remember things only when you're not looking for them. If you can't find it, you can't solve it, put it aside and it will all come to you naturally. Decisions can only be made and answers found when you're calm.
And so, I feel like I've reached enlightenment or something. Ooooohm. Ooooohm. Okay, done fooling around. About to apply for an internship I really want and ready to bring this project to the end. If there is a God up there, I just want to say, I love you. Night all.