(no subject)
It's been a hard day.
Communication has been the topic of the week and it seems that my tribe is constantly communicating about communicating. It has taken several manifestations in the past days.
Open communication...
Always the favorite among my kinky friends. In order for any of us to put our physical and emotional well being into the hands of another, open communication is the greatest safety tool. In a new relationship, I am finding that this type of openness leads to a unique, young feeling of trust.
It can also be fun to play within the boundaries of these practices. Especially when negotiating with new play partners, it can be wonderfully embarrassing to admit to certain desires. Ahhh, it is ever so nice to blush.
Trust and communication...
A friend recently said that when we avoid confronting a person out of fear for their sensitivities, that we are not trusting that individual with their own feelings and ability to care for themselves. I'm still not sure that this resonates completely with me, but perhaps I don't completely understand. Nevertheless, it has been a motivator for me in my interpersonal interactions.
The ruts we get into...
I approached my lover with some hard issues today. This has been a lesson in standing up for myself, changing my own patterns, and trying to force us out of a rut. Well, I was correct in knowing there was a rut involved...but I think it lies in me more than I realized. He didn't withdraw and mope as I expected...so one point for him in changing patterns. I communicated my needs very well, and did not acquiesce simply because the conversation was emotionally difficult....one point for me. Ok...whatever...forget the points thing.
My error was in my interpretation of emotional boundaries within this primary relationship. I am pursuing some outside (ever so lovely) situations, and have confused the cumulative experiences I've had with his sensitivities in this as opposed to the present day self-secure reality he has found. I didn't give him enough credit....and I feel like a jerk.
In any case, in the process of figuring all of this out...we realized that we've come to yet another point in our relationship where it is necessary to step back to evaluate our own wants and needs. This is fantastic! It's fresh and loving and affirming. This reevaluation has become an almost annual pattern for us. I guess that this is a good sign of our continued growth as individuals and as a couple!
As onesoul has commented recently:
We have really been growing all along, it only seems abrupt because we now recognize it for what it is.
Well, I guess today was a day of recognizing.
p.s....
I think that it's rather amusing that my post-orgasm user pic works well for many of my posts on sexuality as well as posts about emotionally challenging days!
Communication has been the topic of the week and it seems that my tribe is constantly communicating about communicating. It has taken several manifestations in the past days.
Open communication...
Always the favorite among my kinky friends. In order for any of us to put our physical and emotional well being into the hands of another, open communication is the greatest safety tool. In a new relationship, I am finding that this type of openness leads to a unique, young feeling of trust.
It can also be fun to play within the boundaries of these practices. Especially when negotiating with new play partners, it can be wonderfully embarrassing to admit to certain desires. Ahhh, it is ever so nice to blush.
Trust and communication...
A friend recently said that when we avoid confronting a person out of fear for their sensitivities, that we are not trusting that individual with their own feelings and ability to care for themselves. I'm still not sure that this resonates completely with me, but perhaps I don't completely understand. Nevertheless, it has been a motivator for me in my interpersonal interactions.
The ruts we get into...
I approached my lover with some hard issues today. This has been a lesson in standing up for myself, changing my own patterns, and trying to force us out of a rut. Well, I was correct in knowing there was a rut involved...but I think it lies in me more than I realized. He didn't withdraw and mope as I expected...so one point for him in changing patterns. I communicated my needs very well, and did not acquiesce simply because the conversation was emotionally difficult....one point for me. Ok...whatever...forget the points thing.
My error was in my interpretation of emotional boundaries within this primary relationship. I am pursuing some outside (ever so lovely) situations, and have confused the cumulative experiences I've had with his sensitivities in this as opposed to the present day self-secure reality he has found. I didn't give him enough credit....and I feel like a jerk.
In any case, in the process of figuring all of this out...we realized that we've come to yet another point in our relationship where it is necessary to step back to evaluate our own wants and needs. This is fantastic! It's fresh and loving and affirming. This reevaluation has become an almost annual pattern for us. I guess that this is a good sign of our continued growth as individuals and as a couple!
As onesoul has commented recently:
We have really been growing all along, it only seems abrupt because we now recognize it for what it is.
Well, I guess today was a day of recognizing.
p.s....
I think that it's rather amusing that my post-orgasm user pic works well for many of my posts on sexuality as well as posts about emotionally challenging days!