Second Chances
Title:Second Chances
Pairing:zikyung
Rating:PG 13
Warning:mentions of suicide
Disclaimer:Don't own them unfortunately
Summary:What would you do if given the chance to make things right?
This was written for kpop-olymfics and was based off of this mv. It's also my first time really writing Block B so I hope you like it~ ^___^
Dusk had just settled in when Jiho arrived at his destination. Walking through the winding paths, he finally stopped in front of a particular spot. With a tired sigh, he slowly knelt on the ground and offered a smile that didn't reach his eyes; something that hadn't happened in exactly a year.
"Hey, it's been a while," Jiho began softly, placing his hand against the large stone, fingers running over the grooves etched into the metal nameplate. "I've been meaning to come visit for a while, but since when have things ever really gone in my favor?" He let out a dry and empty laugh before sobering. Jiho took a deep shuddering breath and released it before continuing. "Did you know that Taeil finally grew a pair and asked out Jihoonie? It was pretty priceless watching such a little guy pin our giant of a maknae against a wall and kiss him senseless. I didn't think he had it in him."
Jiho's voice was shaking at that point and he was oblivious of the building tears until they blurred his vision. Dropping his head, he curled his fingers up until it was now a fist resting against the slate stone.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Kyung ah. I miss you so much you wouldn't even believe. Ever since you went away, everything's just-I know that I'm not alone since Jihoon and the others make sure to check on me every day, but even then I just feel so goddamn alone. I don't understand why you felt that you had no other options...was I really such a horrible person?"
Leaning forward, he placed his forehead against the headstone and closed his eyes, simply letting the tears fall. He murmured the occasional broken apologies as he finally just let himself be overwhelmed by the emotions that he forced back whenever he was around others which, thanks to his friends, was all the time.
After his best friend and boyfriend's death a mere year earlier, Jiho had fallen so far into the depths of depression that everyone feared that the young man would follow right after if given the chance. His mother had tried to convince him to move out of his tiny apartment and back home where she and his father could watch over him. After the death of her oldest child at the hands of a drunk driver three years prior, she couldn't bear to lose her baby as well.
Jiho remained where he was for a bit longer before he felt that his emotions were back under control. Smiling shakily, he pressed his lips lightly against Kyung's name and slowly got to his feet. "I promise to visit soon, okay? Love you." Taking a moment to calm down as he felt the same mindnumbing pain in his chest whenever he said those words, he left the cemetery, not once noticing the eyes that followed after him.
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"Yah. Jiho, wake up, you lazy brat."
The frighteningly familiar voice was what finally managed to pull Jiho from his restless slumber. Slowly opening his eyes, he waited until his vision cleared before looking around his bedroom. He was awake instantly when he saw the figure sitting in the chair in the corner of the room.
Taewoon grinned and waved as Jiho shot up in bed, staring at the older man as though he was seeing a ghost...
...which he was.
"H-hyung?" Jiho stuttered, not knowing what else to say. "B-but you're-"
"I'm..." Taewoon parroted, amused.
"You're dead!"
"Yeah, and?" he asked casually, and Jiho just blinked. "What? You read Bleach. Ever hear of a death god before?" The older man paused and considered what he'd said before speaking again. "Well alright, not quite the same, but close enough. Maybe guardian angel would be a better comparison."
"Oh my God, even dead you ramble," Jiho blurted out, seemingly over seeing his deceased brother in his bedroom. Pausing to consider just how outrageous the situation was, Jiho suddenly nodded his head. "Oh I get it. I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
Taewoon lifted a brow in amusement before getting to his feet and walking over to the bed. Looking down at his brother for a moment, he lifted his hand and smacked it against the back of Jiho's head, drawing out a pained shriek.
"Still think you're dreaming?" Taewoon chuckled before taking a seat beside his brother. "You really are a mess, aren't you?" he sighed, reaching out and lightly carding his fingers through Jiho's hair like he used to do when they were younger. "I know you're hurting, but do you really think that we would want you to destroy yourself?"
Jiho remained silent as he thought about how to respond. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm not."
Taewoon tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?" He had an idea, but he knew that his dongsaeng desperately needed to let out everything that was weighing him down.
"Kyung didn't seem to care too much about that when he stepped out in front of a car, Hyung. He didn't care that he was leaving me behind all by myself. I really must be a horrible person to make him do something like that..."
Sighing, Taewoon gently placed a hand on the back of Jiho's neck and pulled him into a hug, murmuring as many quiet reassurances as he could. Jiho just held on for dear life, sobbing almost uncontrollably. The brothers remained like that for a while longer before Taewoon felt the younger boy slump against him, emotionally spent.
"Jiho, what would you do if you had a second chance?"
Sniffling, Jiho pulled away and wiped at his eyes. "Second chance? Try to figure out what I did wrong and fix it, I'd hope. If not, I'd probably pray for a third chance from you."
Taewoon snorted. "Yah, I'm a guardian angel, not a friggin' genie, y'know," he chuckled. "Maybe you should just pay attention."
"Why are you asking me that though? It's not like you can turn back time or anything, right?" Jiho mused, yawning immediately after.
Smiling cryptically, TaeWoon brought a hand to his brother's chest and pushed him back into a laying down position. "Go back to bed, Ji. Tomorow's going to be a busy day." Too tired to argue, Jiho did as asked, closing his eyes and letting out a breath to relax.
Taewoon had just pulled the covers up on his little brother when he halted at his voice, rough and quiet as he was tipping over into sleep. "I miss you, Jiseokkie hyung..."
Smiling softly as he watched Jiho fall asleep, he nodded his head. "Miss you too, Jiho," he murmured before fading away.
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The relentless ring of the telephone was what finally managed to pull Jiho from his restless sleep. Groaning quietly and realizing that hiding under the blanket wouldn't magically make the phone stop ringing, he slowly sat up and blindly felt around for his phone.
"Yeah..." he mumbled into the device, reaching up to rub at his eyes with his free hand.
Hey asshole! Lemme in!"
At the heartbreakingly familiar voice, Jiho found himself staring at his phone. There was no way...
"...Who is this?" Jiho asked, not even noticing the slight break in his voice.
Who the hell do you think it is, the Tooth Fairy? I forgot my key again so get off your lazy ass and open the door.
Without thinking, Jiho jumped out of bed and ran for the door. Throwing the door open, all of the breath left his body as he saw the same flawless person he'd lost a year ago.
"...Kyung?"
Kyung's grin turned to a playful scowl. "Didn't we just go over this a minute ago? Now move out of the way," he said as he shouldered his way into the apartment. Jiho followed after, still completely shellshocked. Turning back around, the redhead lifted a brow. "What're you, a puppy? What's up with you and why are you staring at me you've just seen a ghost?"
That seemed to snap Jiho out of whatever shock he'd been in. Tears forming in his eyes, the younger man tackled Kyung onto the couch, clinging to him for dear life.
Flailing at his boyfriend's sudden action, Kyung stared at him with wide shocked eyes. "Woo Jiho, what the fuck?!"
"Is this real?" Jiho murmured into Kyung's shoulder and the usually boisterous redhead grew worried because Jiho hadn't acted like this since he'd lost his brother.
"Ji, what's wrong?"
"I-I think I had a horrible nightmare..." he confessed, and Kyung's worry grew tenfold when he heard the watery quality to the usually confident and cocky voice. "Or maybe this is just a dream..."
Reaching out, Kyung ran his fingers through Jiho's hair gently. "What happened in the dream?"
"You died."
Kyung just blinked. Well no wonder Jiho was in his current condition. "Well I'm right here, baby. You're not dreaming, okay?"
"Promise?" Jiho nearly cringed at how young he sounded.
Smiling calmly, Kyung just nodded. "Promise."
----------------------------
Things slowly returned to normal for the pair after that morning. The first week had been difficult with Jiho's head still confusing 'then' with 'now', but once things had settled, it had been easy to fall back into his life before everything had fallen apart. Just spending time with his boyfriend relaxing in bed or jogging in the morning held such profound meaning after living without him for an entire year.
It had been one of the rare days where Jiho had nothing pressing in his schedule besides curling up in bed with his boyfriend and maybe moving long enough to put a movie in. Kyung hadn't seemed averse to the idea either, grinning that heartwarming smile of his as he grabbed Jiho's laptop and a couple of their favorite snacks that the younger had hidden the corner of his closet to keep Jihoon and the rest of their small group from devouring them like they did everything else. Once they were all settled-laying on their stomachs with their ankles locked and free legs kicking in the air-Jiho started the movie that was already in the disc drive.
It was maybe twenty minutes in when Jiho moved an arm to rest on Kyung's lower back. The sharp hiss and subsequent flinch had Jiho's full attention on his boyfriend. Pausing the movie, the younger boy pushed himself up and gently shifted Kyung's shirt up before he had a chance to protest. His eyes widened at the large hideous bruise spread across his lower back, mostly the ugly green of healing, but still viciously black in the center.
"Fuck Kyung, what the hell happened?" Jiho asked, staring at his boyfriend as he demanded an answer.
"I was helping one of my cousins move and tripped over something on the way to the car," Kyung answered after a moment. "I lost my balance and fell into the railing. Thankfully I didn't fall down the stairs."
Without another word, Jiho got up and headed into the kitchen, returning a minute later with an ice pack wrapped securely in a towel. Settling back down beside him, Jiho placed it gently against the painful looking bruise. In the back of his mind, however, he could hear the words his brother had spoken to him the night before his second chance.
"Yah, be careful, okay? I much prefer you bruise free and in one piece," he murmured softly, running the hand not holding the pack in place through Kyung's soft hair.
Kyung smiled softly a few moments later. "What a coincidence; so do I," he murmured, closing his eyes at the gentle ministrations.
"Maybe you should just pay attention."
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And pay attention, he did. In doing so, Jiho caught small flashes of things that he couldn't believe he'd missed the first time through. One of the most telling was Kyung's utter aversion to the idea of going to his own house. More often than not, Jiho would wake up to either his television blasting morning cartoons or his personal favorite despite the situation, his arms wrapped around his sleeping boyfriend.
That morning it was the former. Walking out into the living room, Jiho had to chuckle at the sight of Kyung curled up on the plush couch, wrapped in blankets and snacking on something that he probably found hidden in a cupboard somewhere. With a small shake of his head, Jiho approached his boyfriend and simply plopped down beside him. He playfully kicked Kyung's legs out of the way and snuck into the blanket with the redhead, pulling him close and reaching for what turned out to be a bag of chocolate covered pretzels.
"You hate pretzels," Jiho remarked casually as he popped one into his mouth.
"But I like chocolate," Kyung pointed out with a smile before leaning in for a kiss and wrinkling his nose after. "Ew, morning breath."
"Oh you know you love it," Jiho murmured before pulling the older boy back for more. He smiled into the kiss when he heard the breathy 'yeah' against his lips.
After being thoroughly distracted by Kyung and his talented mouth, Jiho pulled away and chuckled before getting to his feet to shower and brush his teeth, as Kyung reminded him with a smile so bright he forgot exactly what he wanted to ask him that morning.
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Jiho had always been a deep sleeper, but for some odd reason, he was awoken by a quiet sound coming from the other room. Usually, he would roll over andgo back to bed, but something about the sound pulled his chest. Opening his eyes and looking around, he slowly got up and padded over to the door. Something telling him that there was no danger, Jiho opened the door and walked out into the living room. There, curled up on the couch and fast asleep, was Kyung.
Walking loser to the older boy, Jiho crouched down and lightly placed a hand on his boyfriend's forehead, lightly brushing the shaggy bangs away. His eyes widened in surprise however, when he saw the mark on Kyung's cheekbone, a vivid red against pale skin.
Not knowing what else to do and not wanting to wake Kyung, who obviously needed the rest if the dark shadows under his eyes meant anything, Jiho carefully lifted his slumbering boyfriend into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. Once he'd reached the bed, he gently laid the redhead on the bed before joining him, shutting the lights off and draping the blanket over them both. Once he was situated, Jiho pulled Kyung into his arms and tried to relax, even though his mind refused.
It took quite a bit, but finally the warmth in his arms and the soft and steady breathing finally lulled him to sleep.
The next time Jiho woke up, Kyung was still fast asleep and secure in his arms. Pulling back slightly, Jiho reached up and brushed his boyfriend's hair from his face, releasing a soft sigh of relief when he saw no bruising to Kyung's cheek. There was still a slight red, but it had significantly faded and would probably be little more than a memory by the end of the morning.
As much as he wanted to let Kyung sleep until he couldn't anymore, Jiho placed his hand on Kyung's shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Kyung ah. Baby, wake up," he murmured, laughing lightly at the weak whines that fell from his boyfriend's mouth as he tried to burrow himself as deep into the comforter as he could. Shaking his head, Jiho resorted to poking his very ticklish boyfriend and was rewarded with a shriek and an accidental elbow to the ribs.
It took another minute for the pain to go away as Kyung apologized left and right, but not without throwing out a snarky comment or three in the same breath before Jiho decided to shut the boy up in his-and Kyung's-favorite way.
"Didn't I fall asleep on the couch?" Kyung asked once they were both sitting up, backs against the headboard and sides pressed together.
"You did, but I carried you to bed like a good boyfriend, princess," Jiho teased before he sobered. "Kyung, why were you here so early?" he questioned slowly. It was painful to watch the bright smile that he'd fallen for vanish, but Jiho tried to ignore it, the current issue taking precedence.
After a minute, Kyung just shrugged. "I just missed you."
Sighing, Jiho turned to look at his boyfriend. Resting one hand on Kyung's shoulder and the other on his cheek, he made sure he had the redhead's full attention. "Kyung, I'm serious. I know I'm not the most observant guy in the world, but I'm worried about you. You're the most important person in my life, yet I feel like I haven't been paying enough attention to you or telling you how much you mean to me."
It was obvious from the expression on Kyung's face that he was surprised to hear such sentiments from Jiho. They had never been a very verbally affectionate couple, mostly bantering and shooting playful insults back and forth. No, they tended to show their love for each other physically; always holding hands or brushing shoulders.
"Did I ever tell you about that dream I had?" Jiho asked suddenly, startling Kyung.
"You said I died," he answered with a nod. "Right?"
"Did I ever mention how?" The mere thought of then brought paralyzing pain to his chest and he had to fight the urge to grip his chest in an attempt to force his heart to start beating again. Returning to his previous position, he continued. "I don't know why or if it was my fault, but you actually..." He paused for a moment. "You killed yourself; walked right into traffic." The last bit came out as little more than a whisper as he found himself pulling his boyfriend into his arms, hoping to stave off the horrors of that day by taking in everything that was Park Kyung.
Looking over, Jiho observed his boyfriend. He was staring at Jiho in surprise, yet there was something in his eyes that told him that Kyung had at least considered the idea before. Sighing, he just hugged his boyfriend. "You know that I love you, right?"
He felt Kyung nod against his shoulder and closed his eyes, just cherishing the moment of closeness.
"My uncle," Kyung suddenly murmured, causing Jiho to pull back in surprise. "Well, he's not really my uncle, but an old friend of my dad's. He moved in maybe two months ago while my parents are on that vacation." When Kyung saw that Jiho's full attention was on him, he closed his eyes again and continued. "He's a really violent drunk, but no one seems to believe me when I say it. When he gets that way, I just find myself here with you."
Jiho sighed before bringing a hand up to card through Kyung's hair gently. "Kyung ah, why didn't you tell me? If I'd have known, I'd never let you go home."
"I didn't want to be a burden since you're usually so busy with work and all," Kyung murmured, and Jiho felt the hit like he'd been physically struck.
"I'm so sorry, baby," Jiho replied before pulling away to look his boyfriend in the eye. "How about we both go to your place, grab your things, and get you settled in here? I mean, you practically already live here, yes?" he asked, relieved when he heard Kyung laugh at the light tease. "I also think we should have a very long talk later, okay?" he added with a smile, which only grew when it was met with a nod of agreement.
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Things made so much more sense as Jiho lay in bed, Kyung long since fast asleep beside him, emotionally spent from their talk as well as the one with his parents over the phone. He had been stunned to learn that despite his ever optimistic personality, Kyung suffered from depression and was actually taking medication to regulate it. He also learned that as a child and well into his teen years, he had been tormented by bullies which had only served to force him further back into his shell. That only lasted until he had met Jiho at a club four years prior. They'd hit it off instantly and very quickly went from friends to something more.
Not long after Jiho'd had another key made specifically for Kyung, he'd landed the job of his dreams; music production and songwriter for a small indie record label that specialized in hip hop. While he spent more time in the studio than was probably healthy, Jiho made sure to spend plenty of time with his boyfriend. There were plenty of times, however, where he had to break dates or reschedule vacation getaways in favor of recording or getting song ideas out of his head and onto paper.
Sighing for the nth time that night, Jiho kicked himself for not taking more notice of Kyung and what he was going through. Some of the guilt from then had faded, and in its place in the now was determination now that Kyung was safe and where he belonged.
Things would be okay; he'd made sure of it.
----------------------------
"Kyung ah, I have to head to the studio now, okay?" Jiho called as he fumbled with his sneaker, nearly falling into the wall as he lost his balance. He sent a glare toward Kyung, who apparently thought it was absolutely hysterical.
"Any idea when you'll be back? I thought we could maybe go out to dinner tonight," Kyung mentioned once he'd stopped laughing to finish towel drying his hair.
Pausing to think about it, Jiho smiled and nodded. "That works. Wanna meet at the cafe at say, seven? Hyung's trying to make sure I don't spend as much time there as he does, so I'll just let him know."
"That's because I whined to him last week when you worked through your own birthday, you idiot," Kyung stated with an affectionate roll of his eyes.
Jiho just made a face. "I said I was sorry," he grumbled before walking over to give Kyung a kiss. "And since you aren't exactly known for your punctuality, maybe I should just swing by and get you."
"Dude, stop being an ass," Kyung pouted before picking up a pillow and bashing him in the face with it. "Seven o'clock at the usual place. I'll be there by 6:30, so you'd better be as well so I can rub it in your face."
Chuckling at his boyfriend's expression, Jiho dropped a kiss to the top of his head before heading out with a wave.
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Jiho had been in the middle of a composition when he suddenly felt a heavy chill shoot through him. Shivering, he looked up, eyes darting around in confusion. Something in the pit of his stomach told him that something was wrong yet he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. Reaching into his pocket, Jiho pulled out his phone and called Kyung, just to reassure himself that the other was okay and that he was just imagining things.
The phone, however, just kept ringing. "Come one, Kyung, answer the phone," he murmured before hanging up and trying his cell. When he got no answer there either, Jiho took a quick look at the time. Seeing as how it was 6:15, he got to his feet and gathered his things, trying Kyung's phone yet again as he walked out of the studio.
The feeling in his gut continued to grow worse until he was all out running down the street, dodging people at every turn. When he finally reached the cafe, Jiho came to a stop, bent over with his hands on his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. Straightening, he managed to catch sight of Kyung, his headphones on and music probably up so loud he never would have heard his phone.
Something in Jiho quieted for a moment, smiling when he saw that his boyfriend was alright. That only lasted a moment though. Jiho watched on as three teenagers were roughhousing at the crosswalk while waiting for the light to change. Paling, Jiho began running the second he saw one of the kid's bump into Kyung, startling him and sending him off the sidewalk and right into the path of an oncoming car.
He saw his boyfriend look up, frozen in fear at the large vehicle coming at him. Heart practically beating out of his chest, Jiho put on a final burst of speed, reaching him just as the car slammed on its brakes. He felt himself hit the roof of the car as it stopped before hitting the ground hard, sending a flood of pain through his body. Gritting his teeth, Jiho barely managed to open his eyes to see Kyung laying beside him, eyes closed and unmoving, though he could see that the older boy was still alive. Hearing people around dial 119, Jiho felt himself lose consciousness.
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"You're an idiot," declared a voice the second he came to. Or so he thought when he opened his eyes and found Taewoon shooting daggers at him. "Seriously, Jiho do you ever think?! As much as I love you, I do not want to deal with your stupid ass for all eternity yet!"
"Shut up, hyung, would you?" Jiho groaned before carefully sitting up and looking around to see that he was in a hospital bed. "Am I dead?" he asked his brother before he started panicking when he realized that he hadn't been alone. "Kyung? Where is he? Is he okay?!"
Taewoon let out a loud overexaggerated sigh before dropping into the nearby chair. "If I wasn't already dead, you would be the death of me, I swear," he stated before shaking his head. "You're not dead, and neither is Kyung. He has a concussion and a broken arm, but he'll live. You on the other hand, get to deal with a broken leg and about three busted ribs." With a relieved smile, Jiho felt himself relax completely, eyes closing as a smile came onto his face.
"Did I do it? Will things really be okay, Seokkie hyung?" he asked quietly, and the older man had to smile back even though the younger could see neither it, nor the pride in Taewoon's eyes.
"Yeah, Ji. You did it."
Pairing:zikyung
Rating:PG 13
Warning:mentions of suicide
Disclaimer:Don't own them unfortunately
Summary:What would you do if given the chance to make things right?
This was written for kpop-olymfics and was based off of this mv. It's also my first time really writing Block B so I hope you like it~ ^___^
Dusk had just settled in when Jiho arrived at his destination. Walking through the winding paths, he finally stopped in front of a particular spot. With a tired sigh, he slowly knelt on the ground and offered a smile that didn't reach his eyes; something that hadn't happened in exactly a year.
"Hey, it's been a while," Jiho began softly, placing his hand against the large stone, fingers running over the grooves etched into the metal nameplate. "I've been meaning to come visit for a while, but since when have things ever really gone in my favor?" He let out a dry and empty laugh before sobering. Jiho took a deep shuddering breath and released it before continuing. "Did you know that Taeil finally grew a pair and asked out Jihoonie? It was pretty priceless watching such a little guy pin our giant of a maknae against a wall and kiss him senseless. I didn't think he had it in him."
Jiho's voice was shaking at that point and he was oblivious of the building tears until they blurred his vision. Dropping his head, he curled his fingers up until it was now a fist resting against the slate stone.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Kyung ah. I miss you so much you wouldn't even believe. Ever since you went away, everything's just-I know that I'm not alone since Jihoon and the others make sure to check on me every day, but even then I just feel so goddamn alone. I don't understand why you felt that you had no other options...was I really such a horrible person?"
Leaning forward, he placed his forehead against the headstone and closed his eyes, simply letting the tears fall. He murmured the occasional broken apologies as he finally just let himself be overwhelmed by the emotions that he forced back whenever he was around others which, thanks to his friends, was all the time.
After his best friend and boyfriend's death a mere year earlier, Jiho had fallen so far into the depths of depression that everyone feared that the young man would follow right after if given the chance. His mother had tried to convince him to move out of his tiny apartment and back home where she and his father could watch over him. After the death of her oldest child at the hands of a drunk driver three years prior, she couldn't bear to lose her baby as well.
Jiho remained where he was for a bit longer before he felt that his emotions were back under control. Smiling shakily, he pressed his lips lightly against Kyung's name and slowly got to his feet. "I promise to visit soon, okay? Love you." Taking a moment to calm down as he felt the same mindnumbing pain in his chest whenever he said those words, he left the cemetery, not once noticing the eyes that followed after him.
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"Yah. Jiho, wake up, you lazy brat."
The frighteningly familiar voice was what finally managed to pull Jiho from his restless slumber. Slowly opening his eyes, he waited until his vision cleared before looking around his bedroom. He was awake instantly when he saw the figure sitting in the chair in the corner of the room.
Taewoon grinned and waved as Jiho shot up in bed, staring at the older man as though he was seeing a ghost...
...which he was.
"H-hyung?" Jiho stuttered, not knowing what else to say. "B-but you're-"
"I'm..." Taewoon parroted, amused.
"You're dead!"
"Yeah, and?" he asked casually, and Jiho just blinked. "What? You read Bleach. Ever hear of a death god before?" The older man paused and considered what he'd said before speaking again. "Well alright, not quite the same, but close enough. Maybe guardian angel would be a better comparison."
"Oh my God, even dead you ramble," Jiho blurted out, seemingly over seeing his deceased brother in his bedroom. Pausing to consider just how outrageous the situation was, Jiho suddenly nodded his head. "Oh I get it. I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
Taewoon lifted a brow in amusement before getting to his feet and walking over to the bed. Looking down at his brother for a moment, he lifted his hand and smacked it against the back of Jiho's head, drawing out a pained shriek.
"Still think you're dreaming?" Taewoon chuckled before taking a seat beside his brother. "You really are a mess, aren't you?" he sighed, reaching out and lightly carding his fingers through Jiho's hair like he used to do when they were younger. "I know you're hurting, but do you really think that we would want you to destroy yourself?"
Jiho remained silent as he thought about how to respond. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm not."
Taewoon tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?" He had an idea, but he knew that his dongsaeng desperately needed to let out everything that was weighing him down.
"Kyung didn't seem to care too much about that when he stepped out in front of a car, Hyung. He didn't care that he was leaving me behind all by myself. I really must be a horrible person to make him do something like that..."
Sighing, Taewoon gently placed a hand on the back of Jiho's neck and pulled him into a hug, murmuring as many quiet reassurances as he could. Jiho just held on for dear life, sobbing almost uncontrollably. The brothers remained like that for a while longer before Taewoon felt the younger boy slump against him, emotionally spent.
"Jiho, what would you do if you had a second chance?"
Sniffling, Jiho pulled away and wiped at his eyes. "Second chance? Try to figure out what I did wrong and fix it, I'd hope. If not, I'd probably pray for a third chance from you."
Taewoon snorted. "Yah, I'm a guardian angel, not a friggin' genie, y'know," he chuckled. "Maybe you should just pay attention."
"Why are you asking me that though? It's not like you can turn back time or anything, right?" Jiho mused, yawning immediately after.
Smiling cryptically, TaeWoon brought a hand to his brother's chest and pushed him back into a laying down position. "Go back to bed, Ji. Tomorow's going to be a busy day." Too tired to argue, Jiho did as asked, closing his eyes and letting out a breath to relax.
Taewoon had just pulled the covers up on his little brother when he halted at his voice, rough and quiet as he was tipping over into sleep. "I miss you, Jiseokkie hyung..."
Smiling softly as he watched Jiho fall asleep, he nodded his head. "Miss you too, Jiho," he murmured before fading away.
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The relentless ring of the telephone was what finally managed to pull Jiho from his restless sleep. Groaning quietly and realizing that hiding under the blanket wouldn't magically make the phone stop ringing, he slowly sat up and blindly felt around for his phone.
"Yeah..." he mumbled into the device, reaching up to rub at his eyes with his free hand.
Hey asshole! Lemme in!"
At the heartbreakingly familiar voice, Jiho found himself staring at his phone. There was no way...
"...Who is this?" Jiho asked, not even noticing the slight break in his voice.
Who the hell do you think it is, the Tooth Fairy? I forgot my key again so get off your lazy ass and open the door.
Without thinking, Jiho jumped out of bed and ran for the door. Throwing the door open, all of the breath left his body as he saw the same flawless person he'd lost a year ago.
"...Kyung?"
Kyung's grin turned to a playful scowl. "Didn't we just go over this a minute ago? Now move out of the way," he said as he shouldered his way into the apartment. Jiho followed after, still completely shellshocked. Turning back around, the redhead lifted a brow. "What're you, a puppy? What's up with you and why are you staring at me you've just seen a ghost?"
That seemed to snap Jiho out of whatever shock he'd been in. Tears forming in his eyes, the younger man tackled Kyung onto the couch, clinging to him for dear life.
Flailing at his boyfriend's sudden action, Kyung stared at him with wide shocked eyes. "Woo Jiho, what the fuck?!"
"Is this real?" Jiho murmured into Kyung's shoulder and the usually boisterous redhead grew worried because Jiho hadn't acted like this since he'd lost his brother.
"Ji, what's wrong?"
"I-I think I had a horrible nightmare..." he confessed, and Kyung's worry grew tenfold when he heard the watery quality to the usually confident and cocky voice. "Or maybe this is just a dream..."
Reaching out, Kyung ran his fingers through Jiho's hair gently. "What happened in the dream?"
"You died."
Kyung just blinked. Well no wonder Jiho was in his current condition. "Well I'm right here, baby. You're not dreaming, okay?"
"Promise?" Jiho nearly cringed at how young he sounded.
Smiling calmly, Kyung just nodded. "Promise."
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Things slowly returned to normal for the pair after that morning. The first week had been difficult with Jiho's head still confusing 'then' with 'now', but once things had settled, it had been easy to fall back into his life before everything had fallen apart. Just spending time with his boyfriend relaxing in bed or jogging in the morning held such profound meaning after living without him for an entire year.
It had been one of the rare days where Jiho had nothing pressing in his schedule besides curling up in bed with his boyfriend and maybe moving long enough to put a movie in. Kyung hadn't seemed averse to the idea either, grinning that heartwarming smile of his as he grabbed Jiho's laptop and a couple of their favorite snacks that the younger had hidden the corner of his closet to keep Jihoon and the rest of their small group from devouring them like they did everything else. Once they were all settled-laying on their stomachs with their ankles locked and free legs kicking in the air-Jiho started the movie that was already in the disc drive.
It was maybe twenty minutes in when Jiho moved an arm to rest on Kyung's lower back. The sharp hiss and subsequent flinch had Jiho's full attention on his boyfriend. Pausing the movie, the younger boy pushed himself up and gently shifted Kyung's shirt up before he had a chance to protest. His eyes widened at the large hideous bruise spread across his lower back, mostly the ugly green of healing, but still viciously black in the center.
"Fuck Kyung, what the hell happened?" Jiho asked, staring at his boyfriend as he demanded an answer.
"I was helping one of my cousins move and tripped over something on the way to the car," Kyung answered after a moment. "I lost my balance and fell into the railing. Thankfully I didn't fall down the stairs."
Without another word, Jiho got up and headed into the kitchen, returning a minute later with an ice pack wrapped securely in a towel. Settling back down beside him, Jiho placed it gently against the painful looking bruise. In the back of his mind, however, he could hear the words his brother had spoken to him the night before his second chance.
"Yah, be careful, okay? I much prefer you bruise free and in one piece," he murmured softly, running the hand not holding the pack in place through Kyung's soft hair.
Kyung smiled softly a few moments later. "What a coincidence; so do I," he murmured, closing his eyes at the gentle ministrations.
"Maybe you should just pay attention."
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And pay attention, he did. In doing so, Jiho caught small flashes of things that he couldn't believe he'd missed the first time through. One of the most telling was Kyung's utter aversion to the idea of going to his own house. More often than not, Jiho would wake up to either his television blasting morning cartoons or his personal favorite despite the situation, his arms wrapped around his sleeping boyfriend.
That morning it was the former. Walking out into the living room, Jiho had to chuckle at the sight of Kyung curled up on the plush couch, wrapped in blankets and snacking on something that he probably found hidden in a cupboard somewhere. With a small shake of his head, Jiho approached his boyfriend and simply plopped down beside him. He playfully kicked Kyung's legs out of the way and snuck into the blanket with the redhead, pulling him close and reaching for what turned out to be a bag of chocolate covered pretzels.
"You hate pretzels," Jiho remarked casually as he popped one into his mouth.
"But I like chocolate," Kyung pointed out with a smile before leaning in for a kiss and wrinkling his nose after. "Ew, morning breath."
"Oh you know you love it," Jiho murmured before pulling the older boy back for more. He smiled into the kiss when he heard the breathy 'yeah' against his lips.
After being thoroughly distracted by Kyung and his talented mouth, Jiho pulled away and chuckled before getting to his feet to shower and brush his teeth, as Kyung reminded him with a smile so bright he forgot exactly what he wanted to ask him that morning.
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Jiho had always been a deep sleeper, but for some odd reason, he was awoken by a quiet sound coming from the other room. Usually, he would roll over andgo back to bed, but something about the sound pulled his chest. Opening his eyes and looking around, he slowly got up and padded over to the door. Something telling him that there was no danger, Jiho opened the door and walked out into the living room. There, curled up on the couch and fast asleep, was Kyung.
Walking loser to the older boy, Jiho crouched down and lightly placed a hand on his boyfriend's forehead, lightly brushing the shaggy bangs away. His eyes widened in surprise however, when he saw the mark on Kyung's cheekbone, a vivid red against pale skin.
Not knowing what else to do and not wanting to wake Kyung, who obviously needed the rest if the dark shadows under his eyes meant anything, Jiho carefully lifted his slumbering boyfriend into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. Once he'd reached the bed, he gently laid the redhead on the bed before joining him, shutting the lights off and draping the blanket over them both. Once he was situated, Jiho pulled Kyung into his arms and tried to relax, even though his mind refused.
It took quite a bit, but finally the warmth in his arms and the soft and steady breathing finally lulled him to sleep.
The next time Jiho woke up, Kyung was still fast asleep and secure in his arms. Pulling back slightly, Jiho reached up and brushed his boyfriend's hair from his face, releasing a soft sigh of relief when he saw no bruising to Kyung's cheek. There was still a slight red, but it had significantly faded and would probably be little more than a memory by the end of the morning.
As much as he wanted to let Kyung sleep until he couldn't anymore, Jiho placed his hand on Kyung's shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Kyung ah. Baby, wake up," he murmured, laughing lightly at the weak whines that fell from his boyfriend's mouth as he tried to burrow himself as deep into the comforter as he could. Shaking his head, Jiho resorted to poking his very ticklish boyfriend and was rewarded with a shriek and an accidental elbow to the ribs.
It took another minute for the pain to go away as Kyung apologized left and right, but not without throwing out a snarky comment or three in the same breath before Jiho decided to shut the boy up in his-and Kyung's-favorite way.
"Didn't I fall asleep on the couch?" Kyung asked once they were both sitting up, backs against the headboard and sides pressed together.
"You did, but I carried you to bed like a good boyfriend, princess," Jiho teased before he sobered. "Kyung, why were you here so early?" he questioned slowly. It was painful to watch the bright smile that he'd fallen for vanish, but Jiho tried to ignore it, the current issue taking precedence.
After a minute, Kyung just shrugged. "I just missed you."
Sighing, Jiho turned to look at his boyfriend. Resting one hand on Kyung's shoulder and the other on his cheek, he made sure he had the redhead's full attention. "Kyung, I'm serious. I know I'm not the most observant guy in the world, but I'm worried about you. You're the most important person in my life, yet I feel like I haven't been paying enough attention to you or telling you how much you mean to me."
It was obvious from the expression on Kyung's face that he was surprised to hear such sentiments from Jiho. They had never been a very verbally affectionate couple, mostly bantering and shooting playful insults back and forth. No, they tended to show their love for each other physically; always holding hands or brushing shoulders.
"Did I ever tell you about that dream I had?" Jiho asked suddenly, startling Kyung.
"You said I died," he answered with a nod. "Right?"
"Did I ever mention how?" The mere thought of then brought paralyzing pain to his chest and he had to fight the urge to grip his chest in an attempt to force his heart to start beating again. Returning to his previous position, he continued. "I don't know why or if it was my fault, but you actually..." He paused for a moment. "You killed yourself; walked right into traffic." The last bit came out as little more than a whisper as he found himself pulling his boyfriend into his arms, hoping to stave off the horrors of that day by taking in everything that was Park Kyung.
Looking over, Jiho observed his boyfriend. He was staring at Jiho in surprise, yet there was something in his eyes that told him that Kyung had at least considered the idea before. Sighing, he just hugged his boyfriend. "You know that I love you, right?"
He felt Kyung nod against his shoulder and closed his eyes, just cherishing the moment of closeness.
"My uncle," Kyung suddenly murmured, causing Jiho to pull back in surprise. "Well, he's not really my uncle, but an old friend of my dad's. He moved in maybe two months ago while my parents are on that vacation." When Kyung saw that Jiho's full attention was on him, he closed his eyes again and continued. "He's a really violent drunk, but no one seems to believe me when I say it. When he gets that way, I just find myself here with you."
Jiho sighed before bringing a hand up to card through Kyung's hair gently. "Kyung ah, why didn't you tell me? If I'd have known, I'd never let you go home."
"I didn't want to be a burden since you're usually so busy with work and all," Kyung murmured, and Jiho felt the hit like he'd been physically struck.
"I'm so sorry, baby," Jiho replied before pulling away to look his boyfriend in the eye. "How about we both go to your place, grab your things, and get you settled in here? I mean, you practically already live here, yes?" he asked, relieved when he heard Kyung laugh at the light tease. "I also think we should have a very long talk later, okay?" he added with a smile, which only grew when it was met with a nod of agreement.
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Things made so much more sense as Jiho lay in bed, Kyung long since fast asleep beside him, emotionally spent from their talk as well as the one with his parents over the phone. He had been stunned to learn that despite his ever optimistic personality, Kyung suffered from depression and was actually taking medication to regulate it. He also learned that as a child and well into his teen years, he had been tormented by bullies which had only served to force him further back into his shell. That only lasted until he had met Jiho at a club four years prior. They'd hit it off instantly and very quickly went from friends to something more.
Not long after Jiho'd had another key made specifically for Kyung, he'd landed the job of his dreams; music production and songwriter for a small indie record label that specialized in hip hop. While he spent more time in the studio than was probably healthy, Jiho made sure to spend plenty of time with his boyfriend. There were plenty of times, however, where he had to break dates or reschedule vacation getaways in favor of recording or getting song ideas out of his head and onto paper.
Sighing for the nth time that night, Jiho kicked himself for not taking more notice of Kyung and what he was going through. Some of the guilt from then had faded, and in its place in the now was determination now that Kyung was safe and where he belonged.
Things would be okay; he'd made sure of it.
----------------------------
"Kyung ah, I have to head to the studio now, okay?" Jiho called as he fumbled with his sneaker, nearly falling into the wall as he lost his balance. He sent a glare toward Kyung, who apparently thought it was absolutely hysterical.
"Any idea when you'll be back? I thought we could maybe go out to dinner tonight," Kyung mentioned once he'd stopped laughing to finish towel drying his hair.
Pausing to think about it, Jiho smiled and nodded. "That works. Wanna meet at the cafe at say, seven? Hyung's trying to make sure I don't spend as much time there as he does, so I'll just let him know."
"That's because I whined to him last week when you worked through your own birthday, you idiot," Kyung stated with an affectionate roll of his eyes.
Jiho just made a face. "I said I was sorry," he grumbled before walking over to give Kyung a kiss. "And since you aren't exactly known for your punctuality, maybe I should just swing by and get you."
"Dude, stop being an ass," Kyung pouted before picking up a pillow and bashing him in the face with it. "Seven o'clock at the usual place. I'll be there by 6:30, so you'd better be as well so I can rub it in your face."
Chuckling at his boyfriend's expression, Jiho dropped a kiss to the top of his head before heading out with a wave.
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Jiho had been in the middle of a composition when he suddenly felt a heavy chill shoot through him. Shivering, he looked up, eyes darting around in confusion. Something in the pit of his stomach told him that something was wrong yet he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. Reaching into his pocket, Jiho pulled out his phone and called Kyung, just to reassure himself that the other was okay and that he was just imagining things.
The phone, however, just kept ringing. "Come one, Kyung, answer the phone," he murmured before hanging up and trying his cell. When he got no answer there either, Jiho took a quick look at the time. Seeing as how it was 6:15, he got to his feet and gathered his things, trying Kyung's phone yet again as he walked out of the studio.
The feeling in his gut continued to grow worse until he was all out running down the street, dodging people at every turn. When he finally reached the cafe, Jiho came to a stop, bent over with his hands on his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. Straightening, he managed to catch sight of Kyung, his headphones on and music probably up so loud he never would have heard his phone.
Something in Jiho quieted for a moment, smiling when he saw that his boyfriend was alright. That only lasted a moment though. Jiho watched on as three teenagers were roughhousing at the crosswalk while waiting for the light to change. Paling, Jiho began running the second he saw one of the kid's bump into Kyung, startling him and sending him off the sidewalk and right into the path of an oncoming car.
He saw his boyfriend look up, frozen in fear at the large vehicle coming at him. Heart practically beating out of his chest, Jiho put on a final burst of speed, reaching him just as the car slammed on its brakes. He felt himself hit the roof of the car as it stopped before hitting the ground hard, sending a flood of pain through his body. Gritting his teeth, Jiho barely managed to open his eyes to see Kyung laying beside him, eyes closed and unmoving, though he could see that the older boy was still alive. Hearing people around dial 119, Jiho felt himself lose consciousness.
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"You're an idiot," declared a voice the second he came to. Or so he thought when he opened his eyes and found Taewoon shooting daggers at him. "Seriously, Jiho do you ever think?! As much as I love you, I do not want to deal with your stupid ass for all eternity yet!"
"Shut up, hyung, would you?" Jiho groaned before carefully sitting up and looking around to see that he was in a hospital bed. "Am I dead?" he asked his brother before he started panicking when he realized that he hadn't been alone. "Kyung? Where is he? Is he okay?!"
Taewoon let out a loud overexaggerated sigh before dropping into the nearby chair. "If I wasn't already dead, you would be the death of me, I swear," he stated before shaking his head. "You're not dead, and neither is Kyung. He has a concussion and a broken arm, but he'll live. You on the other hand, get to deal with a broken leg and about three busted ribs." With a relieved smile, Jiho felt himself relax completely, eyes closing as a smile came onto his face.
"Did I do it? Will things really be okay, Seokkie hyung?" he asked quietly, and the older man had to smile back even though the younger could see neither it, nor the pride in Taewoon's eyes.
"Yeah, Ji. You did it."