(Untitled)

[renegare]

Parasite: Allen Walker. First notice.
Your extension to the loan taken from Azula has expired as of four minutes.

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[jesusing_clown]

...I understand completely.

[jesusing_clown]

[Ten minutes later, your office no longer has a fourth wall.]

[renegare]

[ Where he will be greeted by the MOST AMAZING SIGHT:

[jesusing_clown]

[STEP ONE, KICK THE SIGN DOWN AND LOOK FOR TIM.

WHEN THAT FAILS, STEP TWO MESS UP THE OFFICE SEARCHING FOR MONEY OR JUST BEING VINDICTIVE AND GETTING YOUR FILES MIXED UP.]

Damn it.

[renegare]

[ GOOD THING YOU DID THAT, ALLEN

Because under the out-to-lunch sign, you will find --

[jesusing_clown]

[I'm tempted to kick this sign down, but then I'm sure there'll be another sign underneath it.

I'll just blow that entire section of the room up :)]

[renegare]

[ AND FROM DOWNSTAIRS, UP COMES A LITTLE OLD LADY, WALKING ON HER CANE.

The landlady, Allen.

The landlady who's owned this building for thirty years.

The landlady, who's weeping a single tear. ]

My... husband... loved this room. Oh, Edward...

[ wow, Allen. Good. Job.]

[jesusing_clown]

[Oh balls] He's renting?

I'm very sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to upset you or your husband. I promise I'll rebuild the office, free of charge, I'm good with that kind of thing.

[renegare]

[ Criminals never settle, Exorcist-foo'.

Also, the old lady looks quite touched. ]

Oh, bless, you remind me ever-so-much of my nephew, Henry, he was such a good boy. Had we with us since he was wee, all up to my knee, came running through that door -

[ THE ONE YOU JUST RUINED, DOUCHEBAG ]

- every single day, calling for his baba, calling for his mumsy, calling for his puppums, calling for his grandpa, but not calling for his papa, I told that girl, told her plenty, one over a plenty and then a dozen over that, told her, That man's no good for you! And what he do? He gone left her, he did, left her with my little Henry in the womb, oh, we thought he'd be a girl, we like girls in the family, good and chubby when they're born, long and lean and pretty after, why, my Daisy's one of them singing stars, you must've heard her, they always hear her down the boulevard --

[ RUN, ALLEN. SAVE YOURSELF. ]

[jesusing_clown]

[Oh what. I. I guess I destroyed her building, the least I can do is listen to her stories.] That man sounds like an absolute scoundrel! It's too bad your daughter didn't listen to you, but at least Henry was the bright side of that.

I think I do know Daisy! She's a sweet girl, very talented. You must be very proud. I'll have to tell her I met her grandmother today, it's such a small world.

[renegare]

[ And on and on she goes, my friends ~~~ ]

Oh, she's a sight, isn't she? A beauty? Why, I had me legs as good as hers, long and lean I was too, pretty, they used to call me fair Miranda -

[ NO YOU WEREN'T AND NO THEY DIDN'T, NOT UNTIL THE SEVENTH DRINK. ]

- oh, but I'll tell my Daisy you took notice of her? How'd that happen, boy? Oh - oh! You fell for her, did you? Fancy her? Fancy my girl? Plan to marry her? You're here for her hand, that's what you're here for? She accepts.

[jesusing_clown]

I-I think I'm a little young for that ma'am! Besides, I get into far too much trouble, Daisy would be so much better off with a respectable man that's actually old enough to get legally married!

[renegare]

[ SUDDENLY, THE KINDLY OL' WOMAN IS WAVING HER CANE MIGHTILY SUSPICIOUSLY ]

Leading on my girl, then? My Daisy?

[jesusing_clown]

[How did I go from kicking down a wall in shonen fury to this??]

Ah, I think Daisy is far too clever to fall for someone like me. Besides, if there's anyone she's got her eye on, it's my Master.

[renegare]

[ Oh, well. The Kindly Ol' Woman [TM] is willing to let you live, young Allen (because killing you would dirty the carpet).

Carry on, carry on :( ]