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[ So, here this slaughterhouse truck is on the highway, just chilling and stuff.
At 180 km/h.
Run by chaos and mayhem and zombies, who apparently enjoy their takeaway and have been collecting humans, gasoline cans and quite a bit of (locked) ammo. The camera lands on the glorious decomposing driver, who hasn't missed a day of regular service, and ( Read more... )
At 180 km/h.
Run by chaos and mayhem and zombies, who apparently enjoy their takeaway and have been collecting humans, gasoline cans and quite a bit of (locked) ammo. The camera lands on the glorious decomposing driver, who hasn't missed a day of regular service, and ( Read more... )
Sleeping Beauty wakens.
And blinks.
And blinks.
And keeps blinking. ]
...all of you crowding. Get out.
[ Hell hath no fury. ]
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You were sleeping?! While we were out here fighting for our lives against zombies with poor diet choices, you were sleeping?!
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Usually, he'd let her do her thing (whine), but right now, he's in a bad mood.
An is-that-a-bloody-DENT-in-Namimori's-walls sort of bad mood.
(And his cute birdie is hungry).
So, he cordially picks her up like a gd ball, squints the way of Yamamoto's window in, you know, his speeding truck --- ]
Yamamoto Takeshi.
[ And throws her there.
10 out of 10, would Chuck Norris again. ]
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WHAT IS GOING ON
THE WORLD IS SPINNING
THE CORPSE OF FREDDIE WINKS AT HER FROM DOWN BELOW (;_;)
THERE ARE A FEW ZOMBIES VAGUELY INTERESTED IN HER SWAN DIVE
AND HARU IS LIKE-]
WHO DOES THIS TO A PERSOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAHHHH---?!?!
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IN ANY CASE, THERE'S A FLYING HARU COMING RIGHT FOR HIM.
Time for some stealth maneuvering.
By which we mean, he cuts the wheel so sharply the tires squeal on the asphalt, and the truck NEARLY FLIPS THE FUCK OVER. But of course it doesn't because his is a GD HOLLYWOOD SPEED CHASE.
What does happen is while the car is tilted, Yamamoto somehow manages to provide an opening for Haru to fall through. Before the car rights itself again.
WELCOME TO YAMAMOTO'S LAP. HERE'S A COMPLIMENTARY LEI.]
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SAFETY. HOME BASE. She lands with a loud 'OOF', and grapples up the solid surface of...Yamamoto's chest. The clinging to his neck - that only lasts for the three seconds it takes for her to realize SHE'S ALIVE, AND STUFF -
AND THEN - she yanks herself away, but doesn't get off his lap just yet, as her purpose is to lean out the window and shout at full-lung capacity:]
OUR FRIENDSHIP HAS HIT A SERIOUS BUMP WITH THIS, HIBARI KYOUYA! HARU WILL NOT FORGET, AND MAYBE NOT EVEN FORGIVE - I COULD'VE DIED, MANGLED AND EATEN AND-
[BREAAAAAAAAATHE]
AND GIVE HARU HER SPOON BACK, YOU THUG!!!
[BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHE - and gasps for air, and pulls herself back inside, less the zombies get an idea of jumping at her face - and hey.
Speaking of faces. Hi-]
Yamamoto-san. [Blinks. Well now. Ahah. TAKEN WOMAN.]
Nice catch!
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Out flies the spoon, aimed for her gd head.
It sure must be nice having conveniently perfect aim that defies the challenge posed by two moving vehicles!!! ]
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Well, epic.
BEST ADRENALINE RUSH EVER.
He takes a moment to mentally congratulate himself, while absently flinging an arm out to catch the rapid-fire projectile spoon zipping toward Haru's head, when it dawns on him-
He's got a girl in his lap.
A squirming girl.
Huh.
This is...an interesting sensation for a teenage boy!
Perhaps his expression reflects as much. But probably not.]
Thanks! I was kinda worried there, for a minute!
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But does she notice?
No she does not.
Why is that? Because. She's far too busy steeming over having been thrown like a projectile to realize she's in a teenage boy's lap! (And it's not Tsuna, okay?! Not that she's sit there! ...because she's innocent and sweet. RIGHT?!)
Still. Panting.]
That's twice now - wow, Haru owes you her life now, definitely!
[And looks up ( ... )
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Except Yamamoto's lacks all the flowery introspection of Haru's. His end is a jumble of 'WOW THAT'S SORTA NICE' and 'WOW THAT'S REALLY NICE' and 'UH....MAYBE I SHOULD TELL HER TO GET OFF SOON'.
He isn't a complete ditz, after all. He knows the part of his anatomy she's situated over can be...reactionary.
GOOD JOB, HARU.
Luckily, Jirou picks that moment to put his paws on the headrest to give himself leverage, and proceeds to slobber on Yamamoto's head. (The saliva is tinged pink. Oh, yummy.)
Yamamoto laughs.]
You're ready to go, aren't you, fella?
[He grins at Haru.]
I'll take care of the driving! Just sit back and relax! In the passenger's seat. [THAT PART IS IMPORTANT.]
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And in her struggle to climb off his lap, she might be squeaking a little and squirming and bumping into places and oh god don't let this change our friendship, bro -
And finally, she drops herself into the passenger's seat!]
You don't know how to drive!
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And while she's doing her best to send him to an early grave, he thinks that she may be a more dangerous weapon than she or anyone else can fathom. THE HUMAN TORTURE DEVICE.
But all's well that ends well because she's off and everything's back to normal.
...As. Normal as it gets in the shounen sparkle mafia.
SIGH. OF. RELIEF.
LET'S REV UP THAT ENGINE. LISTEN TO HER PURR. What a great sound.]
It's all right, I'm learning as I go. Don't forget your seat belt!
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She doesn't want to die.]
Seat belt won't help much if you run us into people!!
[BUT puts the seatbelt on and this is about to be one of those rides where the woman nags about speed. Maybe. Except the woman's rolling up her window really fast because ew zombies, and looking over to the backseat to see if the dog's okay.]
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--Except not. Honestly.
But it's gonna be riddled with speed bumps. Dem pesky zombies!]
I'll do my best to stick to the zombies, promise. Here we go!
[Jirou, for the record, is taking all this in stride. He even barks his approval and wags his tail happily.]
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O-OKAY! LET'S GO!
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Look down.
What is the source of this foreign, but not unwelcome sensation? Of this sudden excitement?
Do you see that clear protrusion in your pants, which may not have been there, moments before?
...it's your cell-phone, moron, You've got a text.
Namimori has no excuse to lose the inter-school sport championship.
Because if you can catch like this, bro, seriously :( ]
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