[FIC] Tears of Anguish
Title: Tears (1389 words) by ren
Chapters: 1/4
Fandom: Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Relationships: Jazz/Prowl
Characters: Jazz, Prowl
Additional Tags: Angst, Verse: Tears, multi-chapter, prompts, Fanfiction
Author's Notes:
- Like Christmas Bow, this was started during last year’s prowlxjazz December challenge which you can find here if you want to look at it.
Summary:
Four times Jazz shed tears.
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They had buried Prowl on Dinobot island, in a small clearing encircled by tall, thick trees that acted as a protective barrier against Prowl's resting place and the outside world. Here, the black and gold would be surrounded by the nature he loved and would be able to rest in peace.
The ceremony had been brief and small, the hurt of his passing too raw to keep them by his empty shell longer than needed. There had been tears from everyone in their team, even the gruff medic had shed his own grief filled tears as he gave his farewells to one of 'his' younglings.
They were all hurting, but no amount of words could ever express the agony Jazz was in. No one could bare to look at him. They knew all they'd see were blank faceplates, but they knew it was because there was no way his pain could be conveyed by any facial expression.
No one bothered him, no one dared. Even when the elite guardsmech hadn't moved from his position, staring down at the small tombstone they had placed to mark Prowl's resting place, they dared not call out to him. Nor when days passed and the ninjabot had yet to leave the island.
A month had passed since then and only once had Jazz left his lover's side.
The news of Prowl's miraculous revival had made his sacrifice seem less of a feat. None of them cared, content with having their friend back amongst them.
Then had come the terrible news.
It seemed almost cruel, especially when two lives had been intertwined in the most beautiful of ways.
There had been hope still. Hope that they would find a solution, yet it had proved futile and in the end, all they could do was watch Prowl slowly waste away, day after day.
When Jazz had returned to the warehouse, he had expected to see grief filled faces, a solemn atmosphere with soft spoken words as they mourned. To his horror, he was met with smiling faces, music, and laughter.
How could this be? When Prowl, their comrade, their family had passed away? Being robbed of the second short life he had been granted, a short life where the most pain had been experienced?
"Prowl is now in the Well Jazz, he is in a better place, happy, and waiting for us. There is no need to mourn for him anymore."Optimus had explained calmly. But even if Jazz had heard the lie in his tone, the grief that refused to leave his and everyone else's optics, Jazz had not stayed any longer, rushing back to be at his lover's side.
As he raced toward the docks he was lost in thought. Cybertron and Earth, while grateful for what Prowl had done, had stopped speaking his name, the news had stopped being broadcasted, life had continued on as if nothing had happened.
It was a crime Jazz could find in his spark to forgive, not while it was still bleeding.
Jazz raced through the woods, the Dinobots sensing his presence yet leaving him be, even they knowing how much the other was hurting. Yet when Jazz came to the clearing he froze.
Over the past month, he had noticed absently that the flowers around him were withering and dying, but he had not bothered to acknowledge it. Now though, instead of seeing a mantle of flowers, he saw an expanse of pure white, one that seemed to never end and in which he could get lost.
Tentatively he took a step forward, a soft crunching sound echoing in the clearing. The guradmech's shoulders slumped, frame shaking; he knew what this substance was.
Snow.
Prowl had loved snow, had always talked about how beautiful it was and how Jazz would love it. Now, Prowl wasn't here to share it with him. They hadn't even been able to see the first snow falling together.
Slowly, Jazz walked through the clearing, heading toward the center where his beloved's grave was, thoughts going back to the day his lover first introduced him to the concept of snow.
"It is unlike anything I've ever seen. The water in the clouds freeze from the low temperatures and come down as beautiful hexagonal ice crystals. Of course, you can only see their true form under a microscope. To the human eye, they look like small, soft, pure white flakes. They are cold to the touch and melt away once they land on your servos. It is kind of sad, to see such beauty only last a second."
He remembered clearly the enthusiasm the younger mech had displayed. His smile, his gestures and laughter at Jazz's confused stare. So many dreams they had shared, so many they had wanted to share, yet now, they never would.
Jazz stopped before the grave, lightly brushing the snow off the tombstone and sitting in front of it. He thought of talking, to keep Prowl company, but somehow, in the deafening silence of the clearing, the whiteness only enhancing the still state it seemed to be in... it seemed wrong. And not for the first time Jazz thought that it might have been a bad idea to place Prowl in such an isolated place. It felt wrong, to bury him in a place no one knew about and no one could come to, as if they were leaving Prowl in a place of solitude and isolation.
For hours Jazz sat, meditating, trying to find a way, a reason to keep on living, yet finding none. Sighing, he onlined his optics and stared at the inscription engraved on the stone:
Here lies Prowl,
to whom we owe our lives
and our dreams,
for he has made them possible.
May you rest in peace and watch over us,
until all are one.
He stared and stared, until white spots appeared in his vision. Startled, he looked up into the sky to see snow falling from its grayness. For a few minutes he was mesmerized, staring as it fell all around him. Sighing, he slowly lowered his head back to the engraving, only to find it half covered.
Prowl had loved snow, but as Jazz looked around the clearing, saw how it covered the resting place of his lover, he could only hate it. It didn't seem lovely in Jazz's optics, he didn't see the uniqueness in each flake, nor the pureness Prowl had seen as it covered everything. All Jazz saw winter bring was death. Animals left, migrated someplace else, trees seemed to die, flowers wilted, the cold being an enemy to those less fortunate.
And now? As the snow covered what was to be Prowl's solace, all he saw was the snow covering all that was left of Prowl, as if it were erasing him away.
The other's had stopped visiting, Earth and Cybertron had stopped speaking his name in wonder. And Jazz had realized with horror, that Prowl was being forgotten.
In a fit of rage and anguish, Jazz jumped up with an mournful scream and started to kick and push the snow surrounding Prowl's tombstone, brushing the snow covering the cross and the top of the plate off with the desperation of a deranged mech.
"It's wrong." He whispered, still trying to uncover the grave. "It's all wrong!" The snow kept falling, slowly, teasingly, almost mockingly on the precious grave. Yet Jazz kept brushing the insolent white away.
He hated it, he hated it!
"Why Prowl why!? Why did ya have ta leave, ta die like that? Nobody cares anymore! Everyone is forgetting ya!" He fell to his knees, head almost touching the snow as his optics widened in horror.
"Am Ah gonna forget 'bout ya too mech?" He breathed, spark chilled by the thought.
It troubled him deeply, and shaking, the elite allowed himself to cry. No, he would never forget about his lover, about the precious night they spent together. He would never forget. He made his decision, he would forever stay on the island, near Prowl, making sure nothing happened to his grave. He'd sit and brush the cruel white away forever if he had to. He'd keep the stone from being damaged by wind, rain, hail and or course, the cursed snow. He'd stay there forever, keeping watch over Prowl.
Forever standing vigil.
fin
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Chapters: 1/4
Fandom: Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Relationships: Jazz/Prowl
Characters: Jazz, Prowl
Additional Tags: Angst, Verse: Tears, multi-chapter, prompts, Fanfiction
Author's Notes:
- Like Christmas Bow, this was started during last year’s prowlxjazz December challenge which you can find here if you want to look at it.
Summary:
Four times Jazz shed tears.
000000000000000000000
They had buried Prowl on Dinobot island, in a small clearing encircled by tall, thick trees that acted as a protective barrier against Prowl's resting place and the outside world. Here, the black and gold would be surrounded by the nature he loved and would be able to rest in peace.
The ceremony had been brief and small, the hurt of his passing too raw to keep them by his empty shell longer than needed. There had been tears from everyone in their team, even the gruff medic had shed his own grief filled tears as he gave his farewells to one of 'his' younglings.
They were all hurting, but no amount of words could ever express the agony Jazz was in. No one could bare to look at him. They knew all they'd see were blank faceplates, but they knew it was because there was no way his pain could be conveyed by any facial expression.
No one bothered him, no one dared. Even when the elite guardsmech hadn't moved from his position, staring down at the small tombstone they had placed to mark Prowl's resting place, they dared not call out to him. Nor when days passed and the ninjabot had yet to leave the island.
A month had passed since then and only once had Jazz left his lover's side.
The news of Prowl's miraculous revival had made his sacrifice seem less of a feat. None of them cared, content with having their friend back amongst them.
Then had come the terrible news.
It seemed almost cruel, especially when two lives had been intertwined in the most beautiful of ways.
There had been hope still. Hope that they would find a solution, yet it had proved futile and in the end, all they could do was watch Prowl slowly waste away, day after day.
When Jazz had returned to the warehouse, he had expected to see grief filled faces, a solemn atmosphere with soft spoken words as they mourned. To his horror, he was met with smiling faces, music, and laughter.
How could this be? When Prowl, their comrade, their family had passed away? Being robbed of the second short life he had been granted, a short life where the most pain had been experienced?
"Prowl is now in the Well Jazz, he is in a better place, happy, and waiting for us. There is no need to mourn for him anymore."Optimus had explained calmly. But even if Jazz had heard the lie in his tone, the grief that refused to leave his and everyone else's optics, Jazz had not stayed any longer, rushing back to be at his lover's side.
As he raced toward the docks he was lost in thought. Cybertron and Earth, while grateful for what Prowl had done, had stopped speaking his name, the news had stopped being broadcasted, life had continued on as if nothing had happened.
It was a crime Jazz could find in his spark to forgive, not while it was still bleeding.
Jazz raced through the woods, the Dinobots sensing his presence yet leaving him be, even they knowing how much the other was hurting. Yet when Jazz came to the clearing he froze.
Over the past month, he had noticed absently that the flowers around him were withering and dying, but he had not bothered to acknowledge it. Now though, instead of seeing a mantle of flowers, he saw an expanse of pure white, one that seemed to never end and in which he could get lost.
Tentatively he took a step forward, a soft crunching sound echoing in the clearing. The guradmech's shoulders slumped, frame shaking; he knew what this substance was.
Snow.
Prowl had loved snow, had always talked about how beautiful it was and how Jazz would love it. Now, Prowl wasn't here to share it with him. They hadn't even been able to see the first snow falling together.
Slowly, Jazz walked through the clearing, heading toward the center where his beloved's grave was, thoughts going back to the day his lover first introduced him to the concept of snow.
"It is unlike anything I've ever seen. The water in the clouds freeze from the low temperatures and come down as beautiful hexagonal ice crystals. Of course, you can only see their true form under a microscope. To the human eye, they look like small, soft, pure white flakes. They are cold to the touch and melt away once they land on your servos. It is kind of sad, to see such beauty only last a second."
He remembered clearly the enthusiasm the younger mech had displayed. His smile, his gestures and laughter at Jazz's confused stare. So many dreams they had shared, so many they had wanted to share, yet now, they never would.
Jazz stopped before the grave, lightly brushing the snow off the tombstone and sitting in front of it. He thought of talking, to keep Prowl company, but somehow, in the deafening silence of the clearing, the whiteness only enhancing the still state it seemed to be in... it seemed wrong. And not for the first time Jazz thought that it might have been a bad idea to place Prowl in such an isolated place. It felt wrong, to bury him in a place no one knew about and no one could come to, as if they were leaving Prowl in a place of solitude and isolation.
For hours Jazz sat, meditating, trying to find a way, a reason to keep on living, yet finding none. Sighing, he onlined his optics and stared at the inscription engraved on the stone:
Here lies Prowl,
to whom we owe our lives
and our dreams,
for he has made them possible.
May you rest in peace and watch over us,
until all are one.
He stared and stared, until white spots appeared in his vision. Startled, he looked up into the sky to see snow falling from its grayness. For a few minutes he was mesmerized, staring as it fell all around him. Sighing, he slowly lowered his head back to the engraving, only to find it half covered.
Prowl had loved snow, but as Jazz looked around the clearing, saw how it covered the resting place of his lover, he could only hate it. It didn't seem lovely in Jazz's optics, he didn't see the uniqueness in each flake, nor the pureness Prowl had seen as it covered everything. All Jazz saw winter bring was death. Animals left, migrated someplace else, trees seemed to die, flowers wilted, the cold being an enemy to those less fortunate.
And now? As the snow covered what was to be Prowl's solace, all he saw was the snow covering all that was left of Prowl, as if it were erasing him away.
The other's had stopped visiting, Earth and Cybertron had stopped speaking his name in wonder. And Jazz had realized with horror, that Prowl was being forgotten.
In a fit of rage and anguish, Jazz jumped up with an mournful scream and started to kick and push the snow surrounding Prowl's tombstone, brushing the snow covering the cross and the top of the plate off with the desperation of a deranged mech.
"It's wrong." He whispered, still trying to uncover the grave. "It's all wrong!" The snow kept falling, slowly, teasingly, almost mockingly on the precious grave. Yet Jazz kept brushing the insolent white away.
He hated it, he hated it!
"Why Prowl why!? Why did ya have ta leave, ta die like that? Nobody cares anymore! Everyone is forgetting ya!" He fell to his knees, head almost touching the snow as his optics widened in horror.
"Am Ah gonna forget 'bout ya too mech?" He breathed, spark chilled by the thought.
It troubled him deeply, and shaking, the elite allowed himself to cry. No, he would never forget about his lover, about the precious night they spent together. He would never forget. He made his decision, he would forever stay on the island, near Prowl, making sure nothing happened to his grave. He'd sit and brush the cruel white away forever if he had to. He'd keep the stone from being damaged by wind, rain, hail and or course, the cursed snow. He'd stay there forever, keeping watch over Prowl.
Forever standing vigil.
fin
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