this last picture is just a really old picture of mine that makes me think. i'd like to start living like i used to. i'm tired. i bought a really unnecesarily expensive tripod for my camera yesterday so i wouldnt buy drugs with the money. why do i do everything so fucked and backwards? what is so wrong with me that everything i do has got to be so awkward and i've got to be so clueless all the time.