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well i m in a weird mood now and i cant go to sleep.and this is why...well i started looking around in other peoples journals and i stumbled on an old one about me and comparing me to a new boyfriend that she had...yeah i know its old but still it hurts to imgaine her sayin that.....so yeah now im in like a damn...kinda mood. i mean its my fault that its there and im sorry for that.......but anyways.only a few more days until school starts back up and im not really looking forward to it,i mean it will be cool for the first couple of days..and im like another person now so we will see how that goes down there....new years is coming up and i cant wait for that,i need to get away from things.its weird how i deal with my emotions...i put them into a little ball and just hide them....dont get me wrong im feeling like this is only my fault and i guess im typing this as an outlet for my feelings.you probably dont give a shit about what im saying right now and thats cool,i just feel like i have to get this out.things have been going aweasome between me and stef. and im thankful for that...its just the things ahead of me that i worried about....school,money,staying in touch with people.cuz i know what happens when u leave freinds and go to college...when u get back things are not the way that they were. right now all i really have going for me is having stef. there for me and shes always there to listen and help me ,and nick one of my best friends....its weird we are so much alike and we spend so much time together that stef. kids around and calls us gay lovers,but whatever....im just at a fork in the road and im really struggling over deciding which way to go.maybe its me,i mean i have changed a lot of the past few weeks and i dont really know what i want to do with myself at this point in time.....so yeah i think im done now.night