Madeleine LeClaire Emerson Babcock, 1917-2012
My grandmother Madeleine died yesterday. Yesterday as I was leaving work, I got a call from my grandmother's nephew to give me the news. I then spent the next few hours getting in touch with various siblings to pass along the news. Madeleine was 94, in a nursing home (placed in it after she fell and broke her hip last year), and not in good health, so it wasn't exactly a surprise. But it still saddened me to know that she's gone, and I drank several glasses of wine in her honor last night. At the same time, I was glad, because she wasn't happy in the nursing home. And she had a good run, no question. We should all be so lucky to live such a long life.
Madeleine wasn't my biological grandmother. She was my dad's stepmother. But she was the only grandmother I ever knew, since I never knew my dad's biological mother. When my dad retired from the Air Force in 1972, we moved from San Antonio to Miami, where my grandfather and other family lived (and where my dad had partly been raised). I was 9 when we moved to Miami, and at that time, my grandfather was already dating Madeleine. My bother James and I always called her Madeleine, and we loved her instantly. She was a beautiful, kind woman who put up with my dad's two wild kids with a lot of humor and grace. Oh, and she was an amazing cook. I mean seriously, that woman knew her way around a kitchen. Many of my best memories of Madeleine involve meals she cooked for us over the years.
Meals at our house were simple and utilitarian. We were poor, which I didn't really know at the time, but in hindsight, I know we were. But when we had dinner at my grandfather's house, with Madeleine preparing the dinner, we got MEALS. We got London Broil, chicken parmesan, and other delights not to be found at our house. Dinner at my grandfather's house included courses - salads, rolls, vegetables, and our favorite: dessert, homemade desserts, sweet and delicious. Often we had just a simple spaghetti, which was not only one of my grandfather's favorite dishes, but my brother James' as well. My sister Darlene tells me how my grandfather used to make my older siblings learn to twirl their spaghetti and would not allow them to cut their spaghetti, but he had clearly mellowed when James and I came along, because James cut his all the time. (I learned from my grandfather how to twirl my spaghetti.)
Madeleine and my grandfather married when I was 10 and moved to a different house. But the regular meals continued, as well as the special occasion meals. Christmas dinner was a big to-do at my grandfather's and Madeleine's house. Madeleine never had children, but she had a brother who had two sons, and her mother Bunny lived with Madeleine and my grandfather until she died when I was in high school. Christmas Eve was a big affair, often with 15-20 people, and a huge dinner, all prepared by Madeleine. One of my favorite dishes from all those Christmas Eve dinners was Madeleine's oyster casserole. Oh my god, that dish was amazing (I got her to cough up the recipe years ago, I have to see where I've stored it). Dinners at Madeleine's house gave me something I didn't have at home, just for a little bit: a "normal" family, with us all sitting down at a dining room table together eating a delicious home cooked meal (this is not something that happened in my own family, mostly because my dad worked full time and started going to college at nights on the GI Bill, so I rarely saw my dad, except when he was studying).
Madeleine and her family were originally from Boston, and they moved to Miami when Madeleine was around 18. For her time, Madeleine was a very modern woman. She never had children of her own, and she worked (even though she didn't have to, her father was a doctor and the family had some money). During World War II, she worked for the State Dept in Europe (part of the time in Germany before the US entered the war). When I was in college, I had to do a living history project, and I interviewed Madeleine about her time in Germany during the war. I recall Madeleine telling me that after the war, she decided it was time for her to get married (she was in her early 30s at that point), so she took a job at a fishing club, and met her first husband, Walter, who was a professional sport fisher. Walter unfortunately died while out fishing, he drowned (I believe that was in the late 50s, early 60s when that happened).
I don't know how Madeleine met my grandfather, but they likely ran in very similar circles socially. I just know that from the time I moved to Miami, she was a fixture in the family. My grandfather developed Alzheimer's when I was in college, and Madeleine took on the sainted task of caring for him, until he finally had to be placed in a nursing home a few months before he died. My grandfather died in 1985, but that didn't mean that Madeleine was no longer a part of our family. After all, she was our grandmother.
After I moved to Austin, anytime I went to Miami, I stayed with her. Madeleine and I got on quite well, because we were alike in some ways. We were both used to living on our own, and didn't feel the need to entertain each other. We could both sit and do our own thing. It made me an easy guest. Of course, Madeleine was always a most gracious hostess, to any and everyone. It's how she was raised. Even when I was dealing with family difficulties after my dad died, she was a calming presence, and never suggested I go elsewhere even while my dad's youngest daughter was stirring up drama and making Madeleine's home a war zone.
Madeleine and my grandfather traveled extensively during their marriage. She continued to travel after my grandfather died, until she started to lose her vision to macular degeneration. She had been legally blind for the last 10, 15 years or so, and had the good sense to stop driving even when the state of Florida insisted on sending her a new driver's license in the mail. Madeleine had a very pragmatic New England streak in her, and she thought it was quite ridiculous the state had just sent her a DL at her age without requiring her to come in and prove she was still fit to drive.
The last time I saw Madeleine was when she turned 90. She threw herself a big party at the country club, and all I had to do was show up. Her birthday was just a few months after my dad died, so it was very hard for me to be back in Miami. It was a very short trip, but it was a grand affair. Many of Madeleine's friends and family all feting her. I really thought we'd be seeing her again in 2017 for her 100th party (although Madeleine pretty clearly said, God I hope not!) Up until the last few years, Madeleine was still very independent, but as will happen once you are in your 90s, health issues took over. Last year she fell and broke her hip, and ended up in a nursing home, and wasn't able to leave it. I know that's not how she wanted to end her life, and she wasn't happy there, so for that reason, I'm glad she's gone. I have a lifetime of memories of her, and that is how I will remember her.
Madeleine wasn't my biological grandmother. She was my dad's stepmother. But she was the only grandmother I ever knew, since I never knew my dad's biological mother. When my dad retired from the Air Force in 1972, we moved from San Antonio to Miami, where my grandfather and other family lived (and where my dad had partly been raised). I was 9 when we moved to Miami, and at that time, my grandfather was already dating Madeleine. My bother James and I always called her Madeleine, and we loved her instantly. She was a beautiful, kind woman who put up with my dad's two wild kids with a lot of humor and grace. Oh, and she was an amazing cook. I mean seriously, that woman knew her way around a kitchen. Many of my best memories of Madeleine involve meals she cooked for us over the years.
Meals at our house were simple and utilitarian. We were poor, which I didn't really know at the time, but in hindsight, I know we were. But when we had dinner at my grandfather's house, with Madeleine preparing the dinner, we got MEALS. We got London Broil, chicken parmesan, and other delights not to be found at our house. Dinner at my grandfather's house included courses - salads, rolls, vegetables, and our favorite: dessert, homemade desserts, sweet and delicious. Often we had just a simple spaghetti, which was not only one of my grandfather's favorite dishes, but my brother James' as well. My sister Darlene tells me how my grandfather used to make my older siblings learn to twirl their spaghetti and would not allow them to cut their spaghetti, but he had clearly mellowed when James and I came along, because James cut his all the time. (I learned from my grandfather how to twirl my spaghetti.)
Madeleine and my grandfather married when I was 10 and moved to a different house. But the regular meals continued, as well as the special occasion meals. Christmas dinner was a big to-do at my grandfather's and Madeleine's house. Madeleine never had children, but she had a brother who had two sons, and her mother Bunny lived with Madeleine and my grandfather until she died when I was in high school. Christmas Eve was a big affair, often with 15-20 people, and a huge dinner, all prepared by Madeleine. One of my favorite dishes from all those Christmas Eve dinners was Madeleine's oyster casserole. Oh my god, that dish was amazing (I got her to cough up the recipe years ago, I have to see where I've stored it). Dinners at Madeleine's house gave me something I didn't have at home, just for a little bit: a "normal" family, with us all sitting down at a dining room table together eating a delicious home cooked meal (this is not something that happened in my own family, mostly because my dad worked full time and started going to college at nights on the GI Bill, so I rarely saw my dad, except when he was studying).
Madeleine and her family were originally from Boston, and they moved to Miami when Madeleine was around 18. For her time, Madeleine was a very modern woman. She never had children of her own, and she worked (even though she didn't have to, her father was a doctor and the family had some money). During World War II, she worked for the State Dept in Europe (part of the time in Germany before the US entered the war). When I was in college, I had to do a living history project, and I interviewed Madeleine about her time in Germany during the war. I recall Madeleine telling me that after the war, she decided it was time for her to get married (she was in her early 30s at that point), so she took a job at a fishing club, and met her first husband, Walter, who was a professional sport fisher. Walter unfortunately died while out fishing, he drowned (I believe that was in the late 50s, early 60s when that happened).
I don't know how Madeleine met my grandfather, but they likely ran in very similar circles socially. I just know that from the time I moved to Miami, she was a fixture in the family. My grandfather developed Alzheimer's when I was in college, and Madeleine took on the sainted task of caring for him, until he finally had to be placed in a nursing home a few months before he died. My grandfather died in 1985, but that didn't mean that Madeleine was no longer a part of our family. After all, she was our grandmother.
After I moved to Austin, anytime I went to Miami, I stayed with her. Madeleine and I got on quite well, because we were alike in some ways. We were both used to living on our own, and didn't feel the need to entertain each other. We could both sit and do our own thing. It made me an easy guest. Of course, Madeleine was always a most gracious hostess, to any and everyone. It's how she was raised. Even when I was dealing with family difficulties after my dad died, she was a calming presence, and never suggested I go elsewhere even while my dad's youngest daughter was stirring up drama and making Madeleine's home a war zone.
Madeleine and my grandfather traveled extensively during their marriage. She continued to travel after my grandfather died, until she started to lose her vision to macular degeneration. She had been legally blind for the last 10, 15 years or so, and had the good sense to stop driving even when the state of Florida insisted on sending her a new driver's license in the mail. Madeleine had a very pragmatic New England streak in her, and she thought it was quite ridiculous the state had just sent her a DL at her age without requiring her to come in and prove she was still fit to drive.
The last time I saw Madeleine was when she turned 90. She threw herself a big party at the country club, and all I had to do was show up. Her birthday was just a few months after my dad died, so it was very hard for me to be back in Miami. It was a very short trip, but it was a grand affair. Many of Madeleine's friends and family all feting her. I really thought we'd be seeing her again in 2017 for her 100th party (although Madeleine pretty clearly said, God I hope not!) Up until the last few years, Madeleine was still very independent, but as will happen once you are in your 90s, health issues took over. Last year she fell and broke her hip, and ended up in a nursing home, and wasn't able to leave it. I know that's not how she wanted to end her life, and she wasn't happy there, so for that reason, I'm glad she's gone. I have a lifetime of memories of her, and that is how I will remember her.