On the road again...
Oh, the joys of travel. Just for fun, I'm posting my Travel Log from Summer '09. This will become relevant, I promise you, in future posts. But for now, enjoy the chaos that is The Traveling Model
Things I have learned in the last two days:
-My car is an amazing machine. Tori, the Red Rav4 of DOOM has logged nearly 1000 miles in the last 36odd hours. And she did it on just over 50bucks in fuel.
-However, when I attempt to be two hours early for a shoot, she will refuse to start and need to be jumped.
-Google Maps SUCK. A 5h drive turned into 8h45m, 150 useless miles,roads that don't exist, one call home, and finally required stopping in the middle of nowhere, where a very kind elderly man with an accent so thick I could have walked on it gave me step by step instructions on a paper road map.
-Did I mention getting run off the road by a semi? Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh...
-Georgia only seems to have three types of places. Dirt-poor poverty, not unless I win the Lotto, and empty space. Types 1 and 2 are often right next door to each other, punctuated by lots of type 3.
-When you've run out of cds you want to listen to, and there's nothing else on the radio to listen to, Christian rock is decent driving music.
-If you have to get up at 4am to be in Atlanta by 8am for a shoot from Augusta, your battery will give up the ghost, and you will have to go to Wally World for a replacement (auto stores not being open at that hour). I had to reschedule that one for NY later this month.
Annoying.
-Atlanta is a nightmare to drive through. Atlanta is still a nightmare to drive around.
-Oh, look, semi #2!!! That one I got the name of the company and their location, and called to tell them what an asshat their driver was being, in heavy traffic, in construction, and descriptions of the FOUR cars he ran off the road.
-85 is under construction. Speed Limit 50.
-However, Tori can rack up 175 miles to about 5 gallons of gasoline when she has REALLY big, steep hills to swoop down, and only needs a light touch to climb the next one.
-I missed driving in up-and-down country. It rocks, and the swoopy curves and loops is tons of fun. It made me miss having a sports car.
-A license plate that reads 78O DCK probably is a decent description of the cranky-looking blue-haired driver- who could only do 35mph, until I tried to pass, and then suddenly swung out into the middle of the highway and revved it all the way to 40mph!
-AT&T has no cell reception within a 30-40 mile radius of Blakely, GA. Not good when you need directions, and all you can remember is that you have to go to Cooheelee Creek Park and find the boat ramp- because like an idiot, you didn't write down the EXACT directions. Which probably would have ended up in Michigan, as they came from Google Maps.
-When in doubt, find a guy with a pick-up truck, icing down a cooler of beer in front of a gas station, with a trailer hitch and mud on the truck. He will know exactly where you want to go.
-Red Georgia sand + direct sunlight all day + my stupid self wearing no shoes = burned soles. And there is a certain MM photographer who is very cool, and who I am going to make arrangements to travel up and devote a day to, because there are obnoxious teenage boys anywhere you want to shoot waterfall nudes.
-Gas in Jakin, GA is 2.39/gal!
-Home is awesome. But I am glad I am leaving first thing in the morning for Florida, because I KNOW my way around that state!
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6/21
-Herb, Herb and Frank were awesome. And one of the images Herb Piper and I shot is a Showcase image over on OMP!!!
-I actually can't get lost in Florida. This makes me happy.
-Gay men think my boyfriend is hot. At least this one was polite enough to wait until I wasn't around to hit on him. And if you've ever seen overcooked pumpkin pie? That really odd, deep caramel-orangey colour? That's what color your balls turn if you spend 12 hours a day lying naked in the sun and drinking beer.
-Nude beaches are my favorite place in the world today.
-My BC SUCKS abnd I have been hormonal and weepy and all sorts of other things these last few days. And I don't think I should ever take another Sominex. Especially now that James has realized that I am the perfect mindless zombie sex slave when on that shit.
-I will cry for ten minutes over a picture of my kids. I'll probably cry for half the drive home. Damn anti-baby hormones.
-New Orleans next!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Starting before I even leave-
- After 25 years I should not expect any differently. Really, grow the fuck up, get a DAMN JOB, and start helping out. My house is a wreck, you are a wastrel and a pain in the ass, and if you don't get your lazy ass up and get the chores done while I'm gone for 3 days, you will be homeless.
-Stay away from my car. And my smokes. And how about the internet too- Li at least is working and looking for work- you're just fucking ROLEPLAYING.
- I am NOT a good person at this time of the morning when I have been shouted/screeched at for trying to get MY damn car keys back from someone I did not want driving my car in the first place, and then told "stop stop stop stop!" while I am trying to pack my clean clothes.
- I'm so fucking glad to be leaving right now. New Orleans, watch out! I am in a mood.
- I only really hate two things while driving. Metro areas and bridges. Guess what I-10 has LOTS of? But I made it here.
- I-10 also has dead alligators in the breakdown lane in Louisiana.
- Mudbugs look at you when you eat them.
- Storm Surge is funny as hell, and I think I scared him a little. Oops.
- White Russians are apparently good with said mudbug afterburn.
- All of the Hooters waitresses have MM profiles. Which is cool, and I think I might have made new friends over dinner. Or not. We shall see.
- I may just skip going home, and go straight to work in Florida.
Things I have learned in the last two days:
-My car is an amazing machine. Tori, the Red Rav4 of DOOM has logged nearly 1000 miles in the last 36odd hours. And she did it on just over 50bucks in fuel.
-However, when I attempt to be two hours early for a shoot, she will refuse to start and need to be jumped.
-Google Maps SUCK. A 5h drive turned into 8h45m, 150 useless miles,roads that don't exist, one call home, and finally required stopping in the middle of nowhere, where a very kind elderly man with an accent so thick I could have walked on it gave me step by step instructions on a paper road map.
-Did I mention getting run off the road by a semi? Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh...
-Georgia only seems to have three types of places. Dirt-poor poverty, not unless I win the Lotto, and empty space. Types 1 and 2 are often right next door to each other, punctuated by lots of type 3.
-When you've run out of cds you want to listen to, and there's nothing else on the radio to listen to, Christian rock is decent driving music.
-If you have to get up at 4am to be in Atlanta by 8am for a shoot from Augusta, your battery will give up the ghost, and you will have to go to Wally World for a replacement (auto stores not being open at that hour). I had to reschedule that one for NY later this month.
Annoying.
-Atlanta is a nightmare to drive through. Atlanta is still a nightmare to drive around.
-Oh, look, semi #2!!! That one I got the name of the company and their location, and called to tell them what an asshat their driver was being, in heavy traffic, in construction, and descriptions of the FOUR cars he ran off the road.
-85 is under construction. Speed Limit 50.
-However, Tori can rack up 175 miles to about 5 gallons of gasoline when she has REALLY big, steep hills to swoop down, and only needs a light touch to climb the next one.
-I missed driving in up-and-down country. It rocks, and the swoopy curves and loops is tons of fun. It made me miss having a sports car.
-A license plate that reads 78O DCK probably is a decent description of the cranky-looking blue-haired driver- who could only do 35mph, until I tried to pass, and then suddenly swung out into the middle of the highway and revved it all the way to 40mph!
-AT&T has no cell reception within a 30-40 mile radius of Blakely, GA. Not good when you need directions, and all you can remember is that you have to go to Cooheelee Creek Park and find the boat ramp- because like an idiot, you didn't write down the EXACT directions. Which probably would have ended up in Michigan, as they came from Google Maps.
-When in doubt, find a guy with a pick-up truck, icing down a cooler of beer in front of a gas station, with a trailer hitch and mud on the truck. He will know exactly where you want to go.
-Red Georgia sand + direct sunlight all day + my stupid self wearing no shoes = burned soles. And there is a certain MM photographer who is very cool, and who I am going to make arrangements to travel up and devote a day to, because there are obnoxious teenage boys anywhere you want to shoot waterfall nudes.
-Gas in Jakin, GA is 2.39/gal!
-Home is awesome. But I am glad I am leaving first thing in the morning for Florida, because I KNOW my way around that state!
-----------------------------------------------------
6/21
-Herb, Herb and Frank were awesome. And one of the images Herb Piper and I shot is a Showcase image over on OMP!!!
-I actually can't get lost in Florida. This makes me happy.
-Gay men think my boyfriend is hot. At least this one was polite enough to wait until I wasn't around to hit on him. And if you've ever seen overcooked pumpkin pie? That really odd, deep caramel-orangey colour? That's what color your balls turn if you spend 12 hours a day lying naked in the sun and drinking beer.
-Nude beaches are my favorite place in the world today.
-My BC SUCKS abnd I have been hormonal and weepy and all sorts of other things these last few days. And I don't think I should ever take another Sominex. Especially now that James has realized that I am the perfect mindless zombie sex slave when on that shit.
-I will cry for ten minutes over a picture of my kids. I'll probably cry for half the drive home. Damn anti-baby hormones.
-New Orleans next!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Starting before I even leave-
- After 25 years I should not expect any differently. Really, grow the fuck up, get a DAMN JOB, and start helping out. My house is a wreck, you are a wastrel and a pain in the ass, and if you don't get your lazy ass up and get the chores done while I'm gone for 3 days, you will be homeless.
-Stay away from my car. And my smokes. And how about the internet too- Li at least is working and looking for work- you're just fucking ROLEPLAYING.
- I am NOT a good person at this time of the morning when I have been shouted/screeched at for trying to get MY damn car keys back from someone I did not want driving my car in the first place, and then told "stop stop stop stop!" while I am trying to pack my clean clothes.
- I'm so fucking glad to be leaving right now. New Orleans, watch out! I am in a mood.
- I only really hate two things while driving. Metro areas and bridges. Guess what I-10 has LOTS of? But I made it here.
- I-10 also has dead alligators in the breakdown lane in Louisiana.
- Mudbugs look at you when you eat them.
- Storm Surge is funny as hell, and I think I scared him a little. Oops.
- White Russians are apparently good with said mudbug afterburn.
- All of the Hooters waitresses have MM profiles. Which is cool, and I think I might have made new friends over dinner. Or not. We shall see.
- I may just skip going home, and go straight to work in Florida.