(no subject)
Hello there. Imagine my skepticism. Giving you my thoughts, allowing you to judge them and then tell me what you think of them. I suppose I should be happy, simply because you read this, but the truth is I love to know what you think. Not because of who you are, but because of the ability you have. Nod and smile all you like; that statement was made in all honesty, but I'd understand your apprehension. You likely hear it every day. I never believed in the tooth fairy. I was born skeptical of the illogical. To this day, I question EVERYTHING! I am not content unless I know the "why" to an action. I'm also a huge attention craver. Though my awkward posture would indicate otherwise, I'm definately not shy. In fact, I've been known to talk a hind leg off a mule. Though I try not to make appearences in the glossy tabloids somehow they get ahold of me. Now, according to the ever-faithful Star, I am a depressed and single anorexic coke addict. Surprising? Not so much. I don't like to complain about anything when it's my own fault for choosing a strutinizing business in the first place. After I was in Jerry Maguire with the ever elusive Tom Cruise, moviegoers and producers saw me as just another average looking, run-of-the-mill actress who wouldn't have a huge future ahead of me in show business. I am happy to say that so far I've done fairly well for myself. Hollywood has allowed me to dip my fingers in a bunch of different things. I've sung frequently and danced, I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've mentally challenged myself, and I refuse to do a movie that doesn't scare the living bejesus out of me. If I were to ever comfortably coast back and relax, I'd feel as if I've failed as an actress and a person in general. I'm a pusher, I push people. I did not mean to steal another movie's quotes but it really is true. I think part of the reason for the divorce was that I expected more of Kenny when he was already everything I could hope for. He worked 24/7, and I was in between films, tapping my foot if he came home late for supper. I've been lead to believe that maybe I'm not the sweet person that people think I am. I think I have a pretty big heart, but my impatience gets the better of me rather frequently. I've spent every night for the past few weeks watching Once Upon a Mattress and eating bowl after bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats.
I'm clone at the moment but I suppose most of us were at one time. Due to my lack of trust and my love of privacy, this journal is going to be friends only. Let me know. I tried to kill two birds with one stone by making this both a disclaimer and introduction entry. I hope it was successful.
[I'm not Renee Zellweger.]