"There was a barber and his wife... and she was beautiful.."
I had forgotten how much I loved that play. For those of you not into musicals, that is a line from Sweeney Todd, Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp did a new movie version, and a lot of people complained because in the musical almost every word is not spoken, but sung. I think that it is wonderful on stage, but for the cinema, Tim Burton was right to add a pinch more dialogue. If you have not seen it, and you are into Tim Burton, I reccomend it.
So yesterday I went to work, and discovered that not only are the people who call in idiots (its like a pre-req, if you embellish t-shirt you have to be dense, cranky or both.) but the people I work with are completely incompetant. We'll start off with the memo on my desk.
"Urgent Call Center Update!!!
"We pride ourselves on excellent customer service (*dies laughing*), one of the things that we offer, every time a customer places an order, without fail (*chuckles again*) is an offer to read the order back to the customer before closing out the order. We don't think our customers understand when you say "do you want me to read the order back to you?" (*eyebrow quirk*) instead, we will now use the phrase "Would you like me to review your order for you today.' ".
I want to point out 2 very important things here. One is that while I know our customers are complete idiots I don't think even they are that foolish. The second is that 'reading back' the order is very specific (used because statement #1 does not always apply.) and a 'review' could be anything.
Agent: Would you like a review?
Customer : Yes, please
Agent: You've ordered T-shirts and a thong.
In any case, we're once again bending to the will of uneducated America *rolls on the floor in agony.*
Then... Before I go further let me explain our credit department. Credit as you may have guessed (because you are smarter than the average t shirt printer) handles finances and *gasp* credits from returns etc. The problem is I have yet to see them handle that in any sort of timely manner. SO a lot of times a customer will call, place an order, and then ask to use a credit. And then everytime, without fail, it isnt there. So we pick up our handy-dandy telephones, call credit, and they fix it. That is their job. All day.
Me: Hi this is Renee in NES sales, A customer has a 20 dollar credit but it isnt coming up for me, can you fix it.
Credit: No.
*boggle*
Me: Um.. can you at least look.
Credit: *sigh* I guess, what is his account number.
Me: *numbers*
Credit: Yeah he has a credit.
Me: Okay can you make it so I can put it on please. (keep in mind they do this all day).
Credit: "What?!" (she exclaims as though she has never heard of such malarky) No! I can't do that!!"
Me: "but the credit is there.."
Credit: Yes
Me: So put it here.
Credit: He is going to have to call back tomorrow.
Me: but.. he is placing an order today.
Credit: Talk to your supervisor *click*
Please keep in mind the super is really no more trained than I am, she just gets paid more to be around less.
So the moral of the story is that if you want something accomplished don't call credit, and if you want to stay in business dont call NES.
*tips her hat* I hope you have enjoyed this Call Center Snippit.
So yesterday I went to work, and discovered that not only are the people who call in idiots (its like a pre-req, if you embellish t-shirt you have to be dense, cranky or both.) but the people I work with are completely incompetant. We'll start off with the memo on my desk.
"Urgent Call Center Update!!!
"We pride ourselves on excellent customer service (*dies laughing*), one of the things that we offer, every time a customer places an order, without fail (*chuckles again*) is an offer to read the order back to the customer before closing out the order. We don't think our customers understand when you say "do you want me to read the order back to you?" (*eyebrow quirk*) instead, we will now use the phrase "Would you like me to review your order for you today.' ".
I want to point out 2 very important things here. One is that while I know our customers are complete idiots I don't think even they are that foolish. The second is that 'reading back' the order is very specific (used because statement #1 does not always apply.) and a 'review' could be anything.
Agent: Would you like a review?
Customer : Yes, please
Agent: You've ordered T-shirts and a thong.
In any case, we're once again bending to the will of uneducated America *rolls on the floor in agony.*
Then... Before I go further let me explain our credit department. Credit as you may have guessed (because you are smarter than the average t shirt printer) handles finances and *gasp* credits from returns etc. The problem is I have yet to see them handle that in any sort of timely manner. SO a lot of times a customer will call, place an order, and then ask to use a credit. And then everytime, without fail, it isnt there. So we pick up our handy-dandy telephones, call credit, and they fix it. That is their job. All day.
Me: Hi this is Renee in NES sales, A customer has a 20 dollar credit but it isnt coming up for me, can you fix it.
Credit: No.
*boggle*
Me: Um.. can you at least look.
Credit: *sigh* I guess, what is his account number.
Me: *numbers*
Credit: Yeah he has a credit.
Me: Okay can you make it so I can put it on please. (keep in mind they do this all day).
Credit: "What?!" (she exclaims as though she has never heard of such malarky) No! I can't do that!!"
Me: "but the credit is there.."
Credit: Yes
Me: So put it here.
Credit: He is going to have to call back tomorrow.
Me: but.. he is placing an order today.
Credit: Talk to your supervisor *click*
Please keep in mind the super is really no more trained than I am, she just gets paid more to be around less.
So the moral of the story is that if you want something accomplished don't call credit, and if you want to stay in business dont call NES.
*tips her hat* I hope you have enjoyed this Call Center Snippit.