(no subject)
today has been fabulous, in that fucked up, mediocre way that fabulous becomes possible to the everyday jane. i woke up to the telephone - completely dissheveled - having passed out on our couch reading the night before. it was my friend in isreal calling between classes, apparently bored. i haven't heard from him since he left because i noted the wrong e-mail address, realized it, and missed him all the more. but he called. and he seemed content to be living and thriving in a "war zone" (minor amusement at the american descrepancy that defines a war zone - israel really is dangerous, but iraq, i heard it's a twiddle-their-thumbs joke to the soldiers). i've missed him a lot which is strange considering how distant we were before he left, but the fact that he is so incredibly brilliant and (this may seem trivial) the fact that he is taking an active role in his life is so impressive to me. go figure, impressive to me - lost and lonely with no life direction in the "united" states. it was such a wonderful wake-up, i don't remember the last time i was glad to be away from sleep... lately my dreams are terrifing... but this, being snatched from horror to speak to him, it was like getting two christmas bonuses in july (or chanukah if you are jewish like jim). he said that vodka is literally cheaper than water where he is. he said that i should come to israel. i'm sure he wasn't serious - i told him i'd have my face cut the first time i went into public (rambunctuous and super smashed unlady-like as i am), he laughed and told me i'd probably be stoned instead. i told him that i've made it my official goal to get overseas within the next year (and so it is). i absolutely must. this world pulls at my being too much to stay in america; there is so much more - i want it all: the culture, the language, to see the way a crop field throws shadows at sunset or hear the way that footsteps pound on stomped mud at an afternoon market - the trivial has always been such a fascination (and so much more important). i just have to get out of this state again - this country. i need a new passport. i got up and made an omelet, got dressed, and went in seek of companionship. i was supposed to take bong rips at my friends, but of course i forgot to call. got there too late, and locked out of the apartment. i sat in my car and read my book, eventually falling asleep in the back seat. i'm not sure how long i slept, but i know it was a long time. i watched some guys work on their broke down sedan while i sat slowly smoking a camel wide. my friend was home and i took bong rips, ate oreo ice cream and watched shitty "reality" tv. by "reality" i mean laguna beach because it looks entirely fake, but as long as i listen to their superficial who's-with-who gossip i don't get caught up in the local shit. went home and read more of my book. got picked up, mobbed around, got high. sat with the girls and smoked a cigarette on the roof. found some familiar ralliers from out of town. got some Old E 40s at the locally owned (yea, keeping revenue in-state) liquor store. drank more. chatted with friends. played with a found puppy (found because she was stolen and then discovered walking down the street with a woman who "didn't know" where the dog came from). went to rescue the kid. went to rescue the car. stopped by a party at a friends house, but didn't stay long. came home and smoked more, chatted more. then they left me to my own demise. now i'm alone at 8 am burning nine inch nails cds from my computer. a good investment of time i know, everyone needs the NIN, but strange to be doing on sunday morning. jim says that in asia sunday is part of the work week. no other country is as vacationed, "priviledged" and "democratic" (i.e. lazy, spoiled, and opinionated) as us americans. be happy for your freedom my friends.