(no subject)
Yesterday was just a bad, bad day. *sigh* Work was okay, although the day seemed to pass by very very slowly. Work wasn't the cause of my current melancholy though. My dad called me into his office around 2:30 so we could have a 'talk'. *sigh* You know, I thought that when I moved out I wouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing anymore. But, well...
He first asked me how school was and how I was doing with my money. I was happy for a minute or two, because I thought we were going to have a normal conversation. Ahh, well.
My family is throwing a BIG 80th birthday party for my grandfather on Sunday. One of my aunts, (mako-chan's mom! nya!) called early on in the week and invited Katie and myself. I figured my mother would also invite me that same day or later on when I talked to her on the phone, but she didn't... Anyway, my dad asked me during this conversation at work if my mother had invited me. When I told him no, she hadn't, he smiled and said, "That's because I told her not to invite you."
I was a little thrown off and asked why he did this. He informed me that he didn't want me there. o_O;;; WTF???
He then proceded to tell me that he couldn't stand the fact that I am who I am. He criticized me for being Wiccan, and gay and all this other shit. How did he know about my religion? Well, you know how my parents do things... THEY FUCKING READ MY JOURNALS/LIVEJOURNALS. THEY WENT THROUGH ME STUFF AGAIN!!! No matter where I write stuff or how hard I hide my things, they always always always have read my stuff, and then yelled at me for it. That's why I changed my old livejournal. Fuck! He said that he couldn't beleive he raised a daughter who turned out this way, and that he and my mother messed up big time while raising me. He said that I've killed their souls and stabbed them in the back so many times. Yeah... Awesome stuff to be hearing from a parent, ne? He finally finished saying that he didn't want anything to do with me ever again and that he couldn't stand to be around me. I was so upset I didn't know what to do. I just went to the bathroom and cried and cried until Theresa found me and comfoted me.
I don't even know what to think about this. I should be angry, and I guess a part of me is... But mostly I'm just sad. It's one of the worst things in the world to hear your parents say that they don't like you. I mean, holy shit...
I'm going to have Katie call my aunt and tell her we have other plans that day and can't go to the party. I know I should go because my aunt and grandfather, and mako-chan would want me to go, but I can't. I can't be there knowing that my own father hates me. *sniffles*
Ona lighter note... I got the second manga volume of Saikano over the weekend. it's awesome, I love that series. I also had a dream last night that Katie, Ivy, and I were at another L'arc~en~Ciel concert! *cheers* They were singing weird american songs though. ^^; In any case--->TOMMORROW IS IVY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Happy Birthday Ivy-chan! *hugs her*
He first asked me how school was and how I was doing with my money. I was happy for a minute or two, because I thought we were going to have a normal conversation. Ahh, well.
My family is throwing a BIG 80th birthday party for my grandfather on Sunday. One of my aunts, (mako-chan's mom! nya!) called early on in the week and invited Katie and myself. I figured my mother would also invite me that same day or later on when I talked to her on the phone, but she didn't... Anyway, my dad asked me during this conversation at work if my mother had invited me. When I told him no, she hadn't, he smiled and said, "That's because I told her not to invite you."
I was a little thrown off and asked why he did this. He informed me that he didn't want me there. o_O;;; WTF???
He then proceded to tell me that he couldn't stand the fact that I am who I am. He criticized me for being Wiccan, and gay and all this other shit. How did he know about my religion? Well, you know how my parents do things... THEY FUCKING READ MY JOURNALS/LIVEJOURNALS. THEY WENT THROUGH ME STUFF AGAIN!!! No matter where I write stuff or how hard I hide my things, they always always always have read my stuff, and then yelled at me for it. That's why I changed my old livejournal. Fuck! He said that he couldn't beleive he raised a daughter who turned out this way, and that he and my mother messed up big time while raising me. He said that I've killed their souls and stabbed them in the back so many times. Yeah... Awesome stuff to be hearing from a parent, ne? He finally finished saying that he didn't want anything to do with me ever again and that he couldn't stand to be around me. I was so upset I didn't know what to do. I just went to the bathroom and cried and cried until Theresa found me and comfoted me.
I don't even know what to think about this. I should be angry, and I guess a part of me is... But mostly I'm just sad. It's one of the worst things in the world to hear your parents say that they don't like you. I mean, holy shit...
I'm going to have Katie call my aunt and tell her we have other plans that day and can't go to the party. I know I should go because my aunt and grandfather, and mako-chan would want me to go, but I can't. I can't be there knowing that my own father hates me. *sniffles*
Ona lighter note... I got the second manga volume of Saikano over the weekend. it's awesome, I love that series. I also had a dream last night that Katie, Ivy, and I were at another L'arc~en~Ciel concert! *cheers* They were singing weird american songs though. ^^; In any case--->TOMMORROW IS IVY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Happy Birthday Ivy-chan! *hugs her*