Today is V-day.

[renami]

It's another weird Valentines Day for me. I usually am never dating anyone during this time. Not lately anyone. I make plans for the person I'm with and then things end very badly. Just happens I suppose. I don't know why. I don't even think I want to know why. It's better being left in the dark about it. Trust me.

Anyway, Today has me thinking a lot. As have past days this week and the week before. Haha, I over think a lot I guess. That could be very bad for me. This is a poem I just came up with. Hope you like it.. haha you don't have to tho..

Another day,
Another year.
The same result
Of past times here.

Once again, all alone.
Nothing gained or lost.
No feeling shone.
A love must cost

All thats dear.
To forgive and give up
Is never clear.
Why would I dare to strive on..

When what I want so deeply,
Is much too far gone.
Not even in this place.
Never to see the dawn.

And now I have a feeling that
What I want has changed.
Nothing here is ever clear.
I've found some things I wanted

So long ago now.
And ever day I
Wonder why..
I wonder how.

Is a good day too much to ask
Happiness in return too far past?
To enjoy the day slow and happy,
Pressure released and smiles last.

This smile I wear is always fake.
I place it on for my own sake.
But lately the smile I have..
Is not like that before..

Its actually..
Something more.
No more fake smile
All the time.

But a real one now.
Very few have see it yes.
And someone new has seen it now.
And I wonder.. how..

Can I be so close to someone.
When everyone closer to me
I feel so distant from.
Is it false is it true?
Is it all because of you?