A letter.
Insecurity,
You have plagued me throughout my entire life, and it's time to go away and give your mind wrecking disease to someone else who needs a taste. While you're there, you can take all the shit that has been weighing down my heart. I am quite finished with all your life sucking, self serving bullshit, Insecurity. That's right, I'm pointing my finger at you, right at you. You make me nervous to walk into a crowded room, you make me too anxious to speak my mind to those who need to hear it. You make me afraid to be myself. It's not fair. You make me feel incompetent in everything I do.
I deserve to be happy, Insecurity. It's about time to let go, cut the umbilical chord, I think you've held me back long enough. I've thrown all your stuff into a box, here are all your things. I'm even giving you back the times you've humiliated me. The times you've made me so timid I couldn't defend myself. You can go collect them, I threw them out the window. They're laying in smashed pieces on the sidewalk. I've also shoved the times where you've allowed myself to think I am less than I am. Oh, and the times where you allowed people's hateful and misinformed words to infiltrate my brain, where they sat and fermented.
You can take it. All of it, because I am replacing you with my new lover, Confidence. Confidence would never betray me, would never let negativity tangle and dance with my emotions. Confidence thinks I am beautiful, a beautiful person, a beautiful artist, and that I have so many things to offer those in my life. Confidence tells me all the time. Confidence knows what I'm thinking, and knows what the right decisions are, and Confidence helps me to have the strength to enforce myself to make that correct decision. Even when I've made the wrong decision Confidence reaffirms that there is room for improvement, that I can make myself better through my mistakes. Confidence knows even when I fall, and become bloodied and dusty, that I am still beautiful, and worth loving.
This is why you have to go Insecurity, and I am not sorry. I was never happy with you. Perhaps, for a brief moment, when you made me afraid and you caused me fall into myself, I felt safe. But you never, not once, were ever the cause of my happiness. So goodbye Insecurity, goodbye goodbye. If you are to ever visit my mind, or my heart again, be sure that you will not get in without a fight. Because my Confidence, she's a very very jealous person.
Goodbye, and good riddance,
Lauren