Jul 08, 2010 11:28
i wish i was stable. i look at all my guy friends and their marriages, and they are all happy because despite being poor, going to school, difficulty finding a job and like things, they are stable people. doesn't mean they are as smart, or that they really see how the world works like i do, but it means that no matter what, i am always on the verge of letting the one person i do not want to disappoint down. im so volatile, so sensitive to changes, so damaged. i wish i was more stable. some of the damage is still just too much.
i will keep trying, because i know i want to and i can be better. please God, help me. i cant live with this pain forever.