Re: FIC
Well here it is - my first attempt at the wolf and puppy. Please be gentle all. I would also like to thank the lovely beta of tundraeternal - who was wonderfully helpful to the newbie. Thanks so much.
Title: Mourning Morning
Summary: After a letter from the great beyond, Remus Lupin attempts to come to terms with the past and present. Recalling the "first" morning he and fellow marauder, Sirius, awoke together and the events leading up to it.
Rating: PG (just cuz of the slash)
Disclaimer: It's all JK's world - she just lets me play in it. WHHHHHHHEEEEEEE!
Mourning Morning
The veil floated as if an invisible breeze was guiding it. The voices whispering beyond, calling to him. Every time he closed his eyes, he replayed Sirius falling. Over and over, he watched. Other memories played unbidden in his mind like a muggle film. Laughter, smiles, tears, touches, whispers, and a myriad of emotions had accompanied him into the early morning hours. Remus hadn’t expected to sleep. Hoped it would come, but knew it wouldn’t.
Watching the golden blue hue that colored the horizon, he slipped from their bed. Admitting defeat, he shuffled downstairs to the kitchen. Molly Weasley was bustling around the stove when he entered. She shot a sympathetic glance in his direction, then placed a cup of tea in front of him. He whispered his appreciation and with shaky hands, brought the cup to his mouth.
The door to the kitchen swung open. Albus Dumbledore’s face reflected the emotions that lay deep within Remus’ heart. The half-amused look the headmaster usually wore was absent.
“Good morning Molly.” He spoke softly casting a half-smile in her direction. “Might I bother you for a cup of tea?”
“Certainly Headmaster.” Placing the cup in front of the vacant seat across from Remus, she gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder and left.
“Remus, I’ve spoken with Harry. He knows of the prophecy. But alas, that is not what brought me to you on this sad day. It is this…” He produced an envelope from a fold in his deep blue robes. “You must know I do not wish to bring you pain with this. But I was directed to deliver this to you in the event of Sirius’ passing.”
Remus picked it up from the worn tabletop. Recognizing the writing, he felt something terrible break inside himself.
“Excuse me, Headmaster,” Remus stood and left the room. He would curse his inexcusable behavior at a later date, but now could only think of escaping prying eyes. Finally closing their bedroom door behind him, he fell against it and melted to the floor. With tear-filled eyes he began to read.
Moony -
I hope like hell that you need never read this letter. If so, I am so sorry. Know that I would never purposefully leave you. Never.
There are certain things I want you to know. From the moment I saw you at Platform 9 ¾, I knew. My life would never, ever be the same. Even then, scrawny pair of kids we were, I knew. You would change my life. I didn’t know how much at that time. But I thank the powers that made you and brought you to me. Even if we weren’t together for a very long time, we were here and we were happy. From the first time I touched you and it felt like home, I knew. You are my life. My heart, my soul, my mate.
I’ve left certain provisions for you, Harry and Tonks. Watch over Harry, Moony. He will need you. Just as you will need him. So many people love and adore you. I’m just one of many. But the only one, luckily enough, to have possessed your love in such a special way. Cast aside the pride that is Remus Lupin; revel in those who care. Cherish them, as I did you.
- Padfoot
Memories came flooding with the tears. Another letter he’d received, many years past, had given him something he’d never had before. Hope. Around the end of sixth year, Remus had had an awakening awareness of Sirius. How James had ever guessed was beyond Remus. He had been so careful to act normally. But he had guessed just the same. Prongs had become his secret keeper.
Then at the end of the summer…the letter. Prongs explained that Sirius was going through the very same thing that Remus himself, was trying, so hard to fight. Smiling inwardly, he remembered how James had called them “two worthless gits who don’t deserve each other if they don’t get it together soon. I’m so sick of you ‘mooning’ over each other like a couple of girls’. He explained to Remus that Sirius’ feelings were partly brotherly, partly sexual and wholly love.
Remus had put together his meager belongings, made excuses to his parents and made his way immediately to Godric’s Hollow. Arriving in the middle of the night, he delighted in one of the only moments of rashness in his short lifetime.
He had found Sirius in his room, asleep. He lay tossed and mussed, with small slivers of moon shining across his face. At seventeen, he had been lean and muscular, with shaggy dark hair. He had been a god-like youth. Sirius had jumped, as if he knew someone was watching him.
“Moony,” he’d growled. “What’re you doing here. I thought you couldn’t come.” Scratching his head. “Are you okay?” Leaping to the side of the bed.
“Pads, I’m fine.” Remus rushed forward.
“Oi, you scared the mickey out of me. What the hell are you doing out this time of night? Full moon isn’t for another twenty some days.”
Remus took a seat next to Sirius on the bed.
“Pads, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. It’s just so hard. You know you’re my brother and that you can trust me no matter what, right?” Kneeling down in front of Sirius, placing his hands on his knees.
“Moony you’re not sick are you? You’re okay. Please tell me you’re okay.” Stroking Remus’ hair.
“I’m so scared. So scared you’re gonna hate me,” he’d grasped Sirius’ hand.
“Moony, there is nothing you could do. Look at me, there is nothing you could do.”
Looking up Remus had found those deep gray eyes shining with unshed tears. For the first time, Sirius’ emotions weren’t broadcast across his face. He couldn’t tell if the tears were from exhaustion, anger, worry, or fear.
“I can’t stop shaking. But if I don’t say this now, I never will. Don’t hate me. Please don’t stop being my brother.”
“I won’t Moony. Please tell me what’s going on. Please. You’re starting to scare me.”
“I love you Sirius,” he whispered. “I’m in love with you.” As the words left his mouth, Sirius had closed his eyes as if drinking it in. Remus could remember his heart pumping with a fierce intensity. The ensuing silence stretched out only a few moments, but had seemed like an eternity.
“Love you too Moony.” Stroking the side of Remus’s face. Remus felt as if he would shatter into a million pieces. He let out a deep breath, he hadn’t known he was holding and leaned onto Sirius’ knees.
“Are you sure, Pads?” he’d questioned, so very eager to be reassured. “I really need you to be sure.”
“Moony,” he’d smiled into Remus’ hair. “I don’t know how not to love you. You are my best friend, my pack mate. Don’t you think all of this doesn’t scare me to death? I could’ve lost my best friend. Now, you’re more. So much more.” Sirius, punctuated the last words with gentle kisses.
Remus looked up, surveying Sirius’s face. Leaning up as Sirius leaned down, their lips brushed so lightly. Again….again…again. Parting, Remus breathed deep and touched foreheads with Sirius.
“I was so scared of losing you, too. Afraid you’d laugh or call me names. I’m already a big enough freak without adding this to it.” He’d gripped Sirius’ hands at the thought of the wolf.
“This isn’t wrong, Moony. Prongs and I talked about it. I was so scared what people might think. Don’t laugh. I know me scared of what people think. Haha. People thinking I’m gay or whatever.” Undeterred, Sirius spurned on. “Prongs said that when you’re friends, it’s just better. That it’s our souls who love each other so the other stuff isn’t as important. You already know me. Know all my strengths, all my faults, and now you’ll get to know this too. If you want to, that is.”
This time, Remus leaned in and cupped his hands at the side of Sirius’ face. Brushing his lips against Sirius’, he’d trembled. It was true. It had happened, and the world hadn’t come crashing down around him.
“Stay in my bed Moony. Gods - get that look off your face. I just want to wake up with you in my arms. Know it wasn’t a dream then.”
To this day he could remember waking up in Sirius’s arms for the first time. Hot breath on the back of his neck, arm slung low across his hip. Silent tears coursed down his cheeks as he remembered his love’s words of that long-ago dawn. “Morning Moony. Love you.”
Title: Mourning Morning
Summary: After a letter from the great beyond, Remus Lupin attempts to come to terms with the past and present. Recalling the "first" morning he and fellow marauder, Sirius, awoke together and the events leading up to it.
Rating: PG (just cuz of the slash)
Disclaimer: It's all JK's world - she just lets me play in it. WHHHHHHHEEEEEEE!
Mourning Morning
The veil floated as if an invisible breeze was guiding it. The voices whispering beyond, calling to him. Every time he closed his eyes, he replayed Sirius falling. Over and over, he watched. Other memories played unbidden in his mind like a muggle film. Laughter, smiles, tears, touches, whispers, and a myriad of emotions had accompanied him into the early morning hours. Remus hadn’t expected to sleep. Hoped it would come, but knew it wouldn’t.
Watching the golden blue hue that colored the horizon, he slipped from their bed. Admitting defeat, he shuffled downstairs to the kitchen. Molly Weasley was bustling around the stove when he entered. She shot a sympathetic glance in his direction, then placed a cup of tea in front of him. He whispered his appreciation and with shaky hands, brought the cup to his mouth.
The door to the kitchen swung open. Albus Dumbledore’s face reflected the emotions that lay deep within Remus’ heart. The half-amused look the headmaster usually wore was absent.
“Good morning Molly.” He spoke softly casting a half-smile in her direction. “Might I bother you for a cup of tea?”
“Certainly Headmaster.” Placing the cup in front of the vacant seat across from Remus, she gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder and left.
“Remus, I’ve spoken with Harry. He knows of the prophecy. But alas, that is not what brought me to you on this sad day. It is this…” He produced an envelope from a fold in his deep blue robes. “You must know I do not wish to bring you pain with this. But I was directed to deliver this to you in the event of Sirius’ passing.”
Remus picked it up from the worn tabletop. Recognizing the writing, he felt something terrible break inside himself.
“Excuse me, Headmaster,” Remus stood and left the room. He would curse his inexcusable behavior at a later date, but now could only think of escaping prying eyes. Finally closing their bedroom door behind him, he fell against it and melted to the floor. With tear-filled eyes he began to read.
Moony -
I hope like hell that you need never read this letter. If so, I am so sorry. Know that I would never purposefully leave you. Never.
There are certain things I want you to know. From the moment I saw you at Platform 9 ¾, I knew. My life would never, ever be the same. Even then, scrawny pair of kids we were, I knew. You would change my life. I didn’t know how much at that time. But I thank the powers that made you and brought you to me. Even if we weren’t together for a very long time, we were here and we were happy. From the first time I touched you and it felt like home, I knew. You are my life. My heart, my soul, my mate.
I’ve left certain provisions for you, Harry and Tonks. Watch over Harry, Moony. He will need you. Just as you will need him. So many people love and adore you. I’m just one of many. But the only one, luckily enough, to have possessed your love in such a special way. Cast aside the pride that is Remus Lupin; revel in those who care. Cherish them, as I did you.
- Padfoot
Memories came flooding with the tears. Another letter he’d received, many years past, had given him something he’d never had before. Hope. Around the end of sixth year, Remus had had an awakening awareness of Sirius. How James had ever guessed was beyond Remus. He had been so careful to act normally. But he had guessed just the same. Prongs had become his secret keeper.
Then at the end of the summer…the letter. Prongs explained that Sirius was going through the very same thing that Remus himself, was trying, so hard to fight. Smiling inwardly, he remembered how James had called them “two worthless gits who don’t deserve each other if they don’t get it together soon. I’m so sick of you ‘mooning’ over each other like a couple of girls’. He explained to Remus that Sirius’ feelings were partly brotherly, partly sexual and wholly love.
Remus had put together his meager belongings, made excuses to his parents and made his way immediately to Godric’s Hollow. Arriving in the middle of the night, he delighted in one of the only moments of rashness in his short lifetime.
He had found Sirius in his room, asleep. He lay tossed and mussed, with small slivers of moon shining across his face. At seventeen, he had been lean and muscular, with shaggy dark hair. He had been a god-like youth. Sirius had jumped, as if he knew someone was watching him.
“Moony,” he’d growled. “What’re you doing here. I thought you couldn’t come.” Scratching his head. “Are you okay?” Leaping to the side of the bed.
“Pads, I’m fine.” Remus rushed forward.
“Oi, you scared the mickey out of me. What the hell are you doing out this time of night? Full moon isn’t for another twenty some days.”
Remus took a seat next to Sirius on the bed.
“Pads, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. It’s just so hard. You know you’re my brother and that you can trust me no matter what, right?” Kneeling down in front of Sirius, placing his hands on his knees.
“Moony you’re not sick are you? You’re okay. Please tell me you’re okay.” Stroking Remus’ hair.
“I’m so scared. So scared you’re gonna hate me,” he’d grasped Sirius’ hand.
“Moony, there is nothing you could do. Look at me, there is nothing you could do.”
Looking up Remus had found those deep gray eyes shining with unshed tears. For the first time, Sirius’ emotions weren’t broadcast across his face. He couldn’t tell if the tears were from exhaustion, anger, worry, or fear.
“I can’t stop shaking. But if I don’t say this now, I never will. Don’t hate me. Please don’t stop being my brother.”
“I won’t Moony. Please tell me what’s going on. Please. You’re starting to scare me.”
“I love you Sirius,” he whispered. “I’m in love with you.” As the words left his mouth, Sirius had closed his eyes as if drinking it in. Remus could remember his heart pumping with a fierce intensity. The ensuing silence stretched out only a few moments, but had seemed like an eternity.
“Love you too Moony.” Stroking the side of Remus’s face. Remus felt as if he would shatter into a million pieces. He let out a deep breath, he hadn’t known he was holding and leaned onto Sirius’ knees.
“Are you sure, Pads?” he’d questioned, so very eager to be reassured. “I really need you to be sure.”
“Moony,” he’d smiled into Remus’ hair. “I don’t know how not to love you. You are my best friend, my pack mate. Don’t you think all of this doesn’t scare me to death? I could’ve lost my best friend. Now, you’re more. So much more.” Sirius, punctuated the last words with gentle kisses.
Remus looked up, surveying Sirius’s face. Leaning up as Sirius leaned down, their lips brushed so lightly. Again….again…again. Parting, Remus breathed deep and touched foreheads with Sirius.
“I was so scared of losing you, too. Afraid you’d laugh or call me names. I’m already a big enough freak without adding this to it.” He’d gripped Sirius’ hands at the thought of the wolf.
“This isn’t wrong, Moony. Prongs and I talked about it. I was so scared what people might think. Don’t laugh. I know me scared of what people think. Haha. People thinking I’m gay or whatever.” Undeterred, Sirius spurned on. “Prongs said that when you’re friends, it’s just better. That it’s our souls who love each other so the other stuff isn’t as important. You already know me. Know all my strengths, all my faults, and now you’ll get to know this too. If you want to, that is.”
This time, Remus leaned in and cupped his hands at the side of Sirius’ face. Brushing his lips against Sirius’, he’d trembled. It was true. It had happened, and the world hadn’t come crashing down around him.
“Stay in my bed Moony. Gods - get that look off your face. I just want to wake up with you in my arms. Know it wasn’t a dream then.”
To this day he could remember waking up in Sirius’s arms for the first time. Hot breath on the back of his neck, arm slung low across his hip. Silent tears coursed down his cheeks as he remembered his love’s words of that long-ago dawn. “Morning Moony. Love you.”